for A Princess' Preference6/8/2011 c16 Superslow Jellyfish
I almost felt bad for Miriam for a second, since she was freezing her butt off with that skirt as everyone made fun of her. And then she called Anya an incestuous ho and got back on top. Now she's a viable threat to Claire.
Sebastian is in loveeee. If a guy remembers your every other word, that's gotta count for a lot. And he defended that "ho" comment even if it was innocent! I wouldn't be surprised if Ben remembered Alice's convo with him. I think Ben's too starstuck and intimidated by Claire, to be honest.
I can totally picture Alex Pettyfer as Sebastian...except I feel like Sebastian would have black hair and Ben golden, simply because of the dark and white knight roles. Alex Pettyfer is a bad boy anyway and so was (is?) Sebastian.
French class is gonna be fun. Once you're into someone, they seem to be everywhere, it seems...
I almost felt bad for Miriam for a second, since she was freezing her butt off with that skirt as everyone made fun of her. And then she called Anya an incestuous ho and got back on top. Now she's a viable threat to Claire.
Sebastian is in loveeee. If a guy remembers your every other word, that's gotta count for a lot. And he defended that "ho" comment even if it was innocent! I wouldn't be surprised if Ben remembered Alice's convo with him. I think Ben's too starstuck and intimidated by Claire, to be honest.
I can totally picture Alex Pettyfer as Sebastian...except I feel like Sebastian would have black hair and Ben golden, simply because of the dark and white knight roles. Alex Pettyfer is a bad boy anyway and so was (is?) Sebastian.
French class is gonna be fun. Once you're into someone, they seem to be everywhere, it seems...
6/3/2011 c16 
5lukas10
how interesting. claire is "perfect" so she needs a "perfect" boyfriend, which is ben but she realize even if ben is "perfect" he isn't perfect for her... but sebastian is.
oh how tangled. :P
and now she is going to a club... without ben... but with sebastian knowledge... hahaha :P
this is going to end so badly and greatly :P
-M
5lukas10how interesting. claire is "perfect" so she needs a "perfect" boyfriend, which is ben but she realize even if ben is "perfect" he isn't perfect for her... but sebastian is.
oh how tangled. :P
and now she is going to a club... without ben... but with sebastian knowledge... hahaha :P
this is going to end so badly and greatly :P
-M
6/2/2011 c16 1l'amourfou
I love this story! The characters are just so intriguing and it's fun to imagine their gossip girl-esque lives! I have to say I'm a die hard Sebastian/Claire fan =] (And it's not just because I'm french) Are you continuing this story?
1l'amourfouI love this story! The characters are just so intriguing and it's fun to imagine their gossip girl-esque lives! I have to say I'm a die hard Sebastian/Claire fan =] (And it's not just because I'm french) Are you continuing this story?
6/1/2011 c15 Superslow Jellyfish
Oh, I forgot about the Snow White reference in regards to Magic Mirror. Sebastian/Claire is pretty awesome, since they pair off well and make each other more real and less of a stereotype.
Alice and Ben work surprisingly well, too. I always thought you'd do something like that, but you're sort of starting to take your time with them. I liked the touches of how Ben was interested in what Alice had to say and how Alice was treated well by a guy for once in her life just by being herself in a good kind of way.
Brains over beauty, ftw!
Lol, Claire is starting to really dig the club scene! Dance music brings that to the best of us, sigh.
Hmm, about the beta thing...I mean, the review game (you're a member, right?) has something called "The Beta Network", and I sort of tried it once, but I realized that I can edit my own work if I do things a certain way, like prewrite my chapters, then read them out loud (embarrassing). I mean, we're vastly different in our mistakes/errors, since my problem was tensing (you don't have that problem) and all that and my method is starting to work for me. And I want you to finish!
But I don't really trust that whole Beta thing. There is the option of befriending Betas, you know? I guess you can wait till High school's over. I mean, FP will be more active in the coming days, considering it's almost summer! Whoo!
*PS, after reading chapter 12, I decided I was going to favorite this. I usually favorite things once I get to have some semblance of things and I like the characters and all...
Oh, I forgot about the Snow White reference in regards to Magic Mirror. Sebastian/Claire is pretty awesome, since they pair off well and make each other more real and less of a stereotype.
Alice and Ben work surprisingly well, too. I always thought you'd do something like that, but you're sort of starting to take your time with them. I liked the touches of how Ben was interested in what Alice had to say and how Alice was treated well by a guy for once in her life just by being herself in a good kind of way.
Brains over beauty, ftw!
Lol, Claire is starting to really dig the club scene! Dance music brings that to the best of us, sigh.
Hmm, about the beta thing...I mean, the review game (you're a member, right?) has something called "The Beta Network", and I sort of tried it once, but I realized that I can edit my own work if I do things a certain way, like prewrite my chapters, then read them out loud (embarrassing). I mean, we're vastly different in our mistakes/errors, since my problem was tensing (you don't have that problem) and all that and my method is starting to work for me. And I want you to finish!
But I don't really trust that whole Beta thing. There is the option of befriending Betas, you know? I guess you can wait till High school's over. I mean, FP will be more active in the coming days, considering it's almost summer! Whoo!
*PS, after reading chapter 12, I decided I was going to favorite this. I usually favorite things once I get to have some semblance of things and I like the characters and all...
6/1/2011 c14 Superslow Jellyfish
"They're Gucci?" he sang out,-Aw, C'mon Claire! I am cheering for Sebastian here.
"Great. Cinderella got glass heels while I get Gucci sneakers."-Hell yes I got that Cinderella vibe as I read this. I was like, oh snap, does Sebastian know he's acting very prince-like here? And jeans are always a nice touch. Also part of the dress code where I live.
"You want me to eat street meat?"-Same. I'll agree with her here. For sureeee. I love how this was all intended to turn Sebastian into a gentleman, but it's REALLY backfiring here on Queen Claire. I am having so much fun reading this.
The cockroach...when I was in Downtown, passing what used to be the WTC in front of St. Paul's cemetery, the rats you'd see were mutant sized. Like chihuahua sized, no kidding. I'd kill to see Claire's reaction.
Lol I did catch the "whole new world" quip and I wondered if that was purposeful. You're just mashing up all the Disney stuff here, allusion-wise: Aladdin, Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Hunchback of Notre Dame...goes really well with the fairy-tale theme Claire is so hell-bent on.
I love that bit with Alice and Ben. She's into art, which makes her totally not stupid or as vapid as people think. I was debating on doing a minor in art history, but the matter quickly passed, since it's a vast field of memorization and context. I can picture Alice dealing art or hosting glamorous TV shows about Paris museums and stuff. It'll also give her an edge when it comes to her studies.
Lol, I know how you feel. I read chapters 1-5 of GT and I cringe when I catch my mistakes. I know what you mean, Claire started off cool, then got a bit perfect, but now she's turning a bit normal at this rate and easier to relate to thanks to Sebastian. I can draw a somewhat similar comparison to Colt.
But you've gotten much better (and so have I)! I think it's the fact that we grow attached to our characters and story that makes us keep going.
"They're Gucci?" he sang out,-Aw, C'mon Claire! I am cheering for Sebastian here.
"Great. Cinderella got glass heels while I get Gucci sneakers."-Hell yes I got that Cinderella vibe as I read this. I was like, oh snap, does Sebastian know he's acting very prince-like here? And jeans are always a nice touch. Also part of the dress code where I live.
"You want me to eat street meat?"-Same. I'll agree with her here. For sureeee. I love how this was all intended to turn Sebastian into a gentleman, but it's REALLY backfiring here on Queen Claire. I am having so much fun reading this.
The cockroach...when I was in Downtown, passing what used to be the WTC in front of St. Paul's cemetery, the rats you'd see were mutant sized. Like chihuahua sized, no kidding. I'd kill to see Claire's reaction.
Lol I did catch the "whole new world" quip and I wondered if that was purposeful. You're just mashing up all the Disney stuff here, allusion-wise: Aladdin, Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Hunchback of Notre Dame...goes really well with the fairy-tale theme Claire is so hell-bent on.
I love that bit with Alice and Ben. She's into art, which makes her totally not stupid or as vapid as people think. I was debating on doing a minor in art history, but the matter quickly passed, since it's a vast field of memorization and context. I can picture Alice dealing art or hosting glamorous TV shows about Paris museums and stuff. It'll also give her an edge when it comes to her studies.
Lol, I know how you feel. I read chapters 1-5 of GT and I cringe when I catch my mistakes. I know what you mean, Claire started off cool, then got a bit perfect, but now she's turning a bit normal at this rate and easier to relate to thanks to Sebastian. I can draw a somewhat similar comparison to Colt.
But you've gotten much better (and so have I)! I think it's the fact that we grow attached to our characters and story that makes us keep going.
6/1/2011 c13 Superslow Jellyfish
Where I live, flip-flops and flats rule the world. No exceptions. But that is NYC and Claire is Claire. Rules differ from place to place.
Way to exert your author powers on their almost kisses. I think out of all of your characters, Sebastian is the most 3D and he's the one that's morphed from this self-absorbed playboy to this shadowy protector that would do anything to make those he considers better then him (moral wise) to get what they want.
I love their flirting, he's so douchey, but it works. Best part was the proposition to go downtown for sneakers. I can imagine them going to Century 21 and Claire hyperventilating while Sebastian just looks for his sneakers.
"People get raped and mugged and drugged"-This made me LOL. Just thinking about Chinatown. There's more cops than Chinese people, believe it or not. At least, when I was there. She'll be safe, hopefully. Though Sebastian's right about the shoes. I went to Journey's on the Lower West Side and I bought a pair of blue Vans that I swear no one else has. I still haven't seen them in stores where I live. Ugh, I want to go back to NYC!
Next chapter is going to be very amusing!
Where I live, flip-flops and flats rule the world. No exceptions. But that is NYC and Claire is Claire. Rules differ from place to place.
Way to exert your author powers on their almost kisses. I think out of all of your characters, Sebastian is the most 3D and he's the one that's morphed from this self-absorbed playboy to this shadowy protector that would do anything to make those he considers better then him (moral wise) to get what they want.
I love their flirting, he's so douchey, but it works. Best part was the proposition to go downtown for sneakers. I can imagine them going to Century 21 and Claire hyperventilating while Sebastian just looks for his sneakers.
"People get raped and mugged and drugged"-This made me LOL. Just thinking about Chinatown. There's more cops than Chinese people, believe it or not. At least, when I was there. She'll be safe, hopefully. Though Sebastian's right about the shoes. I went to Journey's on the Lower West Side and I bought a pair of blue Vans that I swear no one else has. I still haven't seen them in stores where I live. Ugh, I want to go back to NYC!
Next chapter is going to be very amusing!
6/1/2011 c12 Superslow Jellyfish
Yo!
"Especially when he was only in a pair of black boxers." Uh, yeah. Niceee. Bare torsoed dude make us forget even our names, so to speak, a la Claire. Poor thing. And Sebastian isn't even trying!
"Especially after seeing her wearing a trench coat with red heels, making it look like she was wearing nothing underneath." I love this line. Like you describe her outfit, but you don't go into details about the brand or any of that annoying stuff that rich queen bees like Claire wear. Short and simple. I think you're imply Louboutins with her shoes, correct?
"He may not be the shining White Knight Claire wanted, but he would protect her from the shadows."
Me: Awwwwww I love you Sebastian! You may be a man-ho and a French Bastard, but...yay! He is officially redeemed in my eyes!
The plot is coming along as we'll meet the Sebastian's parents. I wonder what they'll be like? And this protection clause. Is Ben really as perfect and endearing as he seems or could trouble be on his way? I still like Ben though, he's such a sweetie...just not right for Claire.
Now to see what the heck Miriam's got up her sleeve now that plan E has failed (or whatever letter of the alphabet applies her that isn't A-C, since she is just a plotter!)
Yo!
"Especially when he was only in a pair of black boxers." Uh, yeah. Niceee. Bare torsoed dude make us forget even our names, so to speak, a la Claire. Poor thing. And Sebastian isn't even trying!
"Especially after seeing her wearing a trench coat with red heels, making it look like she was wearing nothing underneath." I love this line. Like you describe her outfit, but you don't go into details about the brand or any of that annoying stuff that rich queen bees like Claire wear. Short and simple. I think you're imply Louboutins with her shoes, correct?
"He may not be the shining White Knight Claire wanted, but he would protect her from the shadows."
Me: Awwwwww I love you Sebastian! You may be a man-ho and a French Bastard, but...yay! He is officially redeemed in my eyes!
The plot is coming along as we'll meet the Sebastian's parents. I wonder what they'll be like? And this protection clause. Is Ben really as perfect and endearing as he seems or could trouble be on his way? I still like Ben though, he's such a sweetie...just not right for Claire.
Now to see what the heck Miriam's got up her sleeve now that plan E has failed (or whatever letter of the alphabet applies her that isn't A-C, since she is just a plotter!)
5/24/2011 c11 Superslow Jellyfish
"He just wasn't the right guy for her."-At least Ben's hot. Just not for her. We shippers are so good at telling things, haha.
"but he hadn't expected everyone in Brandenburg to have known already." Oh Ben how I love you. He should know that rumors spread like wildfire. I love his sense of righteousness towards his cousin. Sebastian strikes me as this brilliant, but lazy and spoiled type of guy with no mindset of the rules. But that gentleman bit was priceless! That was pretty funny.
"Worst enemy"...cut to Miriam- yes! The girl with the plans. And this one sounds much better than her last, the crazy coyote chick...
I love how being disowned is the end of the world for these rich kids. It's so fascinating to see them freak out about it. I didn't really see this as a boring chapter, since you're setting us all up for plot and disaster. If not, I'm even more intrigued to keep on reading. Sometimes you think you write a filler chapter, but it ends up working differently than what you'd expect. I pretty much enjoyed this chapter.!
"He just wasn't the right guy for her."-At least Ben's hot. Just not for her. We shippers are so good at telling things, haha.
"but he hadn't expected everyone in Brandenburg to have known already." Oh Ben how I love you. He should know that rumors spread like wildfire. I love his sense of righteousness towards his cousin. Sebastian strikes me as this brilliant, but lazy and spoiled type of guy with no mindset of the rules. But that gentleman bit was priceless! That was pretty funny.
"Worst enemy"...cut to Miriam- yes! The girl with the plans. And this one sounds much better than her last, the crazy coyote chick...
I love how being disowned is the end of the world for these rich kids. It's so fascinating to see them freak out about it. I didn't really see this as a boring chapter, since you're setting us all up for plot and disaster. If not, I'm even more intrigued to keep on reading. Sometimes you think you write a filler chapter, but it ends up working differently than what you'd expect. I pretty much enjoyed this chapter.!
5/24/2011 c10 Superslow Jellyfish
I'm going to go out on a limb and forgive Sebastian for not catching her when she falls, even though that was a really kind of douchey thing to do. He's a foreigner and has little concept of how Claire's world works, though he's definitely rocking it.
Claire can live out her predestined life with the white duke she now has little chemistry with. Whoo-hoo. Though I did find it funny how she has this minor freakout-jealousy moment with Ben and Alice together, even though they were worrying about HER. Claire's reaction was very appropriate when Jane clarified things.
Oh Claire/Ben as a couple. It'll probably last, but I know she'll have second thoughts along the way about the "evil duke". I doubt he'll be that evil, anyways. My favorite part here was the sad ending, when Sebastian's heart drops and shatters as he finally catches onto Claire Ayala's world. You know all too well, I'm a Claire/Sebastian shipper all the way.
I'm going to go out on a limb and forgive Sebastian for not catching her when she falls, even though that was a really kind of douchey thing to do. He's a foreigner and has little concept of how Claire's world works, though he's definitely rocking it.
Claire can live out her predestined life with the white duke she now has little chemistry with. Whoo-hoo. Though I did find it funny how she has this minor freakout-jealousy moment with Ben and Alice together, even though they were worrying about HER. Claire's reaction was very appropriate when Jane clarified things.
Oh Claire/Ben as a couple. It'll probably last, but I know she'll have second thoughts along the way about the "evil duke". I doubt he'll be that evil, anyways. My favorite part here was the sad ending, when Sebastian's heart drops and shatters as he finally catches onto Claire Ayala's world. You know all too well, I'm a Claire/Sebastian shipper all the way.
5/16/2011 c9 Superslow Jellyfish
The first paragraph is so awwww. Of course he'd be nice when she's asleep. It's a facade! I love how they make a big deal about her being stuck in an elevator. I wonder how her parents would react to this.
"She must be starving." Ben thought sadly.""" -lol. He's your blood, honey!
I love how it all goes back to catching. Claire sees it as part of her fairy tale idealism, Sebastian has no idea what the hell she's talking about. Though I do get her overreacting. That's her set of ideals and she and Sebastian are so different in morality and the way they are shown to the world. Whatever it is, it's still Sebastian's fault for pushing the red button. I swear, isn't there an internet meme on NOT pushing the red button?
The first paragraph is so awwww. Of course he'd be nice when she's asleep. It's a facade! I love how they make a big deal about her being stuck in an elevator. I wonder how her parents would react to this.
"She must be starving." Ben thought sadly.""" -lol. He's your blood, honey!
I love how it all goes back to catching. Claire sees it as part of her fairy tale idealism, Sebastian has no idea what the hell she's talking about. Though I do get her overreacting. That's her set of ideals and she and Sebastian are so different in morality and the way they are shown to the world. Whatever it is, it's still Sebastian's fault for pushing the red button. I swear, isn't there an internet meme on NOT pushing the red button?
5/16/2011 c8 Superslow Jellyfish
This isn't that bad of an imprisonment, to be honest. It's Sebastian and he may be a playboy jerk, but he doesn't sound like the kind of person who would outright do something awful to Claire, though he stayed in character with his teasing.
God, men! This same thing happened to me my junior year. We were out in the lowest level of the building doing course selections and all thirty of us chose to take the elevator (which is not allowed). About twenty six people took the elevator at the same time, threatening the maximum capacity limit so that left four of us. Me, two other girls and a guy. Miraculously the elevator came back safely and we all rode on it, the three of us restraining the one guy who said EXACTLY WHAT SEBASTIAN SAID ON A LOOP with that same godforsaken button. Why are they even installed! Nothing happened, thankfully, if you're wondering.
But Claire didn't have the power of two other girls to restrain him, sadly. Or not sadly. They're entertaining and that chemistry's gotta go somewhere. Her sarcasm and casual "I'm an Ayala" line were the highlight for Claire. She should know of the rumors involved and she genuinely wants to know of this guy (so do we!). I loved Sebastian's lines about Virgins and the way he remarked it was targeted to boggle her mind, in both annoyance and in attraction. Claire also strikes me as the type to fall for a smart guy, since she's pretty smart herself. With Ben, she'd grow bored faster, I'd think.
This isn't that bad of an imprisonment, to be honest. It's Sebastian and he may be a playboy jerk, but he doesn't sound like the kind of person who would outright do something awful to Claire, though he stayed in character with his teasing.
God, men! This same thing happened to me my junior year. We were out in the lowest level of the building doing course selections and all thirty of us chose to take the elevator (which is not allowed). About twenty six people took the elevator at the same time, threatening the maximum capacity limit so that left four of us. Me, two other girls and a guy. Miraculously the elevator came back safely and we all rode on it, the three of us restraining the one guy who said EXACTLY WHAT SEBASTIAN SAID ON A LOOP with that same godforsaken button. Why are they even installed! Nothing happened, thankfully, if you're wondering.
But Claire didn't have the power of two other girls to restrain him, sadly. Or not sadly. They're entertaining and that chemistry's gotta go somewhere. Her sarcasm and casual "I'm an Ayala" line were the highlight for Claire. She should know of the rumors involved and she genuinely wants to know of this guy (so do we!). I loved Sebastian's lines about Virgins and the way he remarked it was targeted to boggle her mind, in both annoyance and in attraction. Claire also strikes me as the type to fall for a smart guy, since she's pretty smart herself. With Ben, she'd grow bored faster, I'd think.
5/15/2011 c14 5lukas10
oh my, this is pretty cool.
and claire has the hots for mr. dark knight! :P
oh but he is soo silly, doesn't he know that once you taste the forbidden fruit you'll just want to taste it again and again... there's a reason why is forbidden. muajaja
so much DRama! and Alice is slowly making her way to get ben.. i like that couple better. i mean, ben and claire are fine together but there is something missing. i mean... he will do everything for her... but put her in her place when she needs to. he is like her lost puppy, even if they are too cute and lovely together...
so i like Sebastian better...for her. he might not be ben, but that's exactly why he is better. he won't kiss her feet as she walk by but actually pull her down to earth... so she needs to grow up somehow... but i'm sure ben won't make it happen because he kind of doesn't want her to get hurt at all... sometimes hurt is what is needed to face reality. mmm... let's see what you do with this.
:P love it this far! lol
-M
5lukas10oh my, this is pretty cool.
and claire has the hots for mr. dark knight! :P
oh but he is soo silly, doesn't he know that once you taste the forbidden fruit you'll just want to taste it again and again... there's a reason why is forbidden. muajaja
so much DRama! and Alice is slowly making her way to get ben.. i like that couple better. i mean, ben and claire are fine together but there is something missing. i mean... he will do everything for her... but put her in her place when she needs to. he is like her lost puppy, even if they are too cute and lovely together...
so i like Sebastian better...for her. he might not be ben, but that's exactly why he is better. he won't kiss her feet as she walk by but actually pull her down to earth... so she needs to grow up somehow... but i'm sure ben won't make it happen because he kind of doesn't want her to get hurt at all... sometimes hurt is what is needed to face reality. mmm... let's see what you do with this.
:P love it this far! lol
-M
5/15/2011 c2 3Rosemarysgraden001
Nice second chapter it reminds me of gossip girl. It like the fairytale version of gossip girl.
~Rose~
3Rosemarysgraden001Nice second chapter it reminds me of gossip girl. It like the fairytale version of gossip girl.
~Rose~
5/11/2011 c1 Rosemarysgraden001
ok review payback!
I like how you smoothly transition the time period change, I like the character and how the chapter was good for a first chapter.
~Rose~
ok review payback!
I like how you smoothly transition the time period change, I like the character and how the chapter was good for a first chapter.
~Rose~
5/10/2011 c12 Stephanie
MORE!
MORE!