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3/22/2011 c1 4Iva Hartnet
Lovely emotion. You're obviously drawing from personal experiences. That's a powerful place to start for any writer :)

Great great job!

Just one thing. Concentrate on your tenses. You've probably read my previous review on prayers for japan, where I mentioned the same thing.

For example here: I'd stutter, unable to say anything, and just left, if I talked to you.

The sentence structure is awkward. You were doing fine till unable to say anything and then you used 'left'. You were speaking in present tense and randomly switched to past! Try to avoid that as the entire sentence then becomes grammatically incorrect...

But I loved your work!
3/22/2011 c1 25SargentLooneyPencil
wow.. emotional and true... it's awesome..

great job!
3/20/2011 c1 7SophieInPink
This is awesome! I love how it's written in second person and how relatable you made it, leaving out names so that anyone could identify with the situations. Awesome work.

Soph xx
3/20/2011 c1 2TheCatGoesMoo
wow...i love this story..I can really relate to this story...I like this guy who plays the guitar beautifully...and I really feel the same way...
3/19/2011 c1 2dragonflydreamer
I love that you didn't make this into an actual poem. It has a rambling, train-of-thought feel that I think is effective in getting right to the emotions.

Going along with that, I love the flow. Your words really fit together and keep the thoughts smooth. There were a few words, though, such as "successfully," "albeit," and "supersedes" that I didn't quite like. They're harsh-sounding and made snags in the flow as I was reading.

Great sentiment, though. I think a lot of readers can relate.

~Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
3/6/2011 c1 41chewychester
I know a special person just like you described. :)
3/3/2011 c1 2Heather Kaylie
Aw ^/^ that is so cute! I love it! Good job ^.^

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