for The Vampire's Jewel5/10/2011 c2 Cassie333
I was enjoying your story however, my favorite authors have left this site. So take care and I wish you the best. I'm not dropping you, I'm dropping the site.
I was enjoying your story however, my favorite authors have left this site. So take care and I wish you the best. I'm not dropping you, I'm dropping the site.
14/2/2011 c4 illusion's mirage
yay you updated! :D
I'm wondering if you could check out my story family secrets and give it some feedback. it's kinda like your story but I assure you that I didn't copy anything. the only thing thats the samy is the vampire slave part. so if you could give me feedback that would be awesome. in
yay you updated! :D
I'm wondering if you could check out my story family secrets and give it some feedback. it's kinda like your story but I assure you that I didn't copy anything. the only thing thats the samy is the vampire slave part. so if you could give me feedback that would be awesome. in
4/2/2011 c1 Cassie333
This is a good story with lots of potential, however there are some small issues that I feel need to be addressed. Thoughts could be shared in italic or parenthesis, but shouldn’t be quoted. Also there are some small spelling issues, other then that I see this story going far.
This is a good story with lots of potential, however there are some small issues that I feel need to be addressed. Thoughts could be shared in italic or parenthesis, but shouldn’t be quoted. Also there are some small spelling issues, other then that I see this story going far.
3/7/2011 c3 illusion's mirage
even more awesome than the previous chapters :)
I can't wait to see what happens :D
even more awesome than the previous chapters :)
I can't wait to see what happens :D
3/6/2011 c2 illusion's mirage
so awesome! I can't wait to see what sill happen. Is this a romance story?
so awesome! I can't wait to see what sill happen. Is this a romance story?
3/5/2011 c1 illusion's mirage
this is really good, but you had some mistakes that are my pet peeves. you don't have to change anything, but you should know that in the second paragraph first sentence, sixth word you used their when it's supposed to be they're. then for the thoughts, you sometimes use quotes and sometimes you don't. It doesn't really matter but you should try and stick to one. Then for a paragraph you put "He smirked, "...". There shouldn't be a comma there because you can't smirk words. Last, you keep using said for dialogue (he said, I said). Try having some variety like exclaimed, yelled, screamed, snarled, demanded, inquired, ordered etc.
I still think it's awesome
please update soon
this is really good, but you had some mistakes that are my pet peeves. you don't have to change anything, but you should know that in the second paragraph first sentence, sixth word you used their when it's supposed to be they're. then for the thoughts, you sometimes use quotes and sometimes you don't. It doesn't really matter but you should try and stick to one. Then for a paragraph you put "He smirked, "...". There shouldn't be a comma there because you can't smirk words. Last, you keep using said for dialogue (he said, I said). Try having some variety like exclaimed, yelled, screamed, snarled, demanded, inquired, ordered etc.
I still think it's awesome
please update soon