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6/28/2013 c29 x
hope you can update soon!
6/24/2013 c29 The Moving Christmas Tree
Dammit, this is awesome. Wish I could say more but I'm speechless.
6/16/2013 c29 KB
I love this story so much! Please update soon! :)
6/16/2013 c29 Story Addict
This story is awesome. Update, pretty please? :)
5/31/2013 c29 5U MadeMyLifeComplete
Hey lovely I was hoping you could update this story soon or when you can because I miss reading it. I hope you aren't too busy with school but good luck!
5/9/2013 c29 4ellision
I just wanted to let you know that i've caught up. i don't know what to say. i'm enthralled and i want to know more and i hope you update soon because that would be awesome. thanks so much for this crazy journey so far!
5/9/2013 c23 ellision
WHAT. woah. can't stop reading. things just went down.
5/7/2013 c29 OneCertainWraith
Hooray! UPDATE! YES! And it was (of course) AMAZING! (Applause for one of the greatest authors to ever live on this planet) ... (Hands trophy to one of the greatest authors to ever live on this planet) And you most definitely deserve to be nominated! Ohhh I am just so happy from reading :D Thank you ever so much :D :D :D
5/7/2013 c21 ellision
i hate it when the guy or the girl is mad at the person who their significant other cheated with rather than the person who cheated on them. but i guess that in this situation, since both parties are 'friends' and are aware of the relationship that's being violated, it's okay for john to punch james. i just hope he gives kristen a hard time, too.

it's really not mackie's fault. but it would feel like it. i like that she feels like it is-she feels everything rather strongly, which makes for dramatic situations like this. if she didn't, this story wouldn't be nearly as entertaining.

aww mackie. seeing her cry over telling the truth and putting an end to something that was hurting someone without his knowledge is really sad. it's not her fault she discovered them. and she's not responsible for kristen's infidelity. but it would feel like it. and that's why i like her.

i think that reese coming over to take mackie out with the excuse of something is really just him trying to get her mind off everything. i also think reese is really hiding something from mackie. when he gets aloof like that… i just know know and i'm really curious as to what it is.

i'm really excited to see that mackie realizes that she really likes him. at least as a good friend, if nothing more-he seems like a really good guy, but i still think he's hiding something important that can change the course of the story as of right now.
5/7/2013 c20 ellision
so i'm totally in class right now. this class doesn't matter anyhow. i'm more interested in reading about the valentine's day auction.

i understand completely where mackie is coming from when she's stuck in the position of having to bid for reese when she's trying to give advice. i know that happens to me. i fully support the 'once you stop looking, you'll find someone' thing. because that's normally what happens to me.

haha, i just realized that the guys are totally being objectified. women are objectified so often, and as a women, i didn't even realize the whole concept of a date auction kind of makes someone into an object that can be bought. i kind of wish one of the guys mentioned this because it's not very often women can make a man feel like an object to be bought. but i still like this. all in good fun, right? plus makes me look back fondly on my high school days.

i also just realized how much money $275 is to a high school student. i didn't have an after school job until the summer after high school and it took forever to save up that much money without that. this date auction is worth a lot of money to some of these students. now i realize just how fortunate i am to have a regular paycheck.

also, why do i feel like the note that mackie is leaving ashley is the kiss of death? maybe something to do with matching handwriting? no idea why.

what. the envelope disappeared. what. what. what. WHAT. my stomach dropped at that. too much coffee this morning. and i'm too invested in this. it's my connection to the states while i'm in european land.

oh thank god it was in her car. i've never lost anything that important without finding it within a few seconds of losing it. mostly keys.

oh god. zach no. please just no. that was… NO. awww.

well, at least she won the bidding still.

as for commentary on this chapter: i feel like i know the characters just well enough for them to still surprise me. i'm excited to see what happens when mandy finds out that drew is involved with the dogs. i still haven't worked out what i think her response will be, but i don't agree with how mackie sees it. also, i think i'm getting a bit too close to the characters to offer you really good feedback, so i'll offer anything that comes up that's rather large. i'm even warming up to the awkward phrasing that mackie often uses in her narration, which is both a good and a bad thing. i'll point out the phrases that i find extremely disruptive to fluidity, as i have in past reviews, but more than that, i think it's her character.

i'll also review two chapters at once to cut down on the time spent. so onto the next chapter! so this is for 19 and 20.

angela's email to TFG is kind of sad. but at the same time, if mackie knows that reese doesn't like her, isn't she obligated to tell her? just be like, my intel says that you guys wouldn't be a good match or something? i'm not sure what to think of how mackie is handling this situation.

at first, i didn't realize mackie was the one who won again. i think a dialog tag would work better there. or by switching the order of the dialog and the narration in that paragraph and leading in with an action.

i'm a little confused as to why reese is a bit snippy with her after she won the auction. is it because she waited until the last second? or is it because she retracted what happened.

"Feeling helpless, I turned back to the action up on the podium and tried to ignore the jumbled up distress I felt all the way down to the pit of my stomach and the anger I felt emit from Reese standing beside me." here, 'emit' should be 'emitting'.

""Obviously. But I need you to back up. Full story, now," Maddie commanded, as I obliged, recounting in detail the entire mess of a day in all its madness. When I finished, I was met with silence on the other end. "Talk to me Maddie."" here, since there's a change in speaker, you need to make it a new paragraph somewhere. i was really confused and thought that maddie was referring to herself in the third person.

'"And you also look the part," Zach commented with a smile. See? Nothing to worry about. Everything is going fine, I mentally told myself with a internal sigh of relief.' here, i want to know what she looks like. mentioning that she looks the part without mentioning what she's wearing makes it feel incomplete. then when you describe it a few lines down, it feels out of place. if you move the jersey description to the end of this paragraph and then mention that she had to google the name, i think it would flow better.

woah. that escalated quickly. i think i have time for one more chapter in this class. until next time!
5/6/2013 c18 ellision
the more reese and mackie interact, the more i like seeing them interact. reese using mackie as a repellant is so cute. it's also adorable that she's oblivious.

from their conversation involving the god-like brilliance, i really want a better description of mackie. we haven't gotten anything since the first chapters, i believe, and i'm pretty far into the story now. i get her personality quite easily. but i'd like some physical characteristics because as of right now, i'm picturing someone who looks like me-which isn't a bad thing. it's just a bit weird because i'm not like her at all and i want to picture her rather than insert myself into a story that isn't mine. this is her story. if any of that makes sense. even some random description of reese would be nice. i don't remember much about what he looks like based on your own words. you do it so simply with kelly in the following paragraph by just mentioning that she flips her long, dirty blonde hair. (there should also be a comma between 'long' and 'dirty')

i was just waiting for reese to ask mackie to outfit kelly for him. yeses. i like this 'we' thing that keeps happening, too. i like it very much. and the auction approaches! finally.

and that's the last one for me tonight. that was a super long run. hope that you update soon so i don't run out of chapters to read!
5/6/2013 c17 ellision
i still think it's reese. TF catcher disappeared when he and mackie started talking. also, this comes right after their little tiff at the end of last chapter. but i really don't know. you're probably just making me think that right now and it will be completely different in the long run. regardless, i'm still super curious. secrets are so fun.

for some reason, i think that zach isn't going to ask her out. i'm not sold on that being the reason he wants to talk to her alone, but then again, it might just be me looking for something that's not there.

i'm super glad that reese wasn't trying to get rid of mackie. that made me sad for a bit there. also, their version of fighting is kind of adorable. it's mostly mackie being stubborn and reese rolling his eyes and dealing with it.

good advice, mom, good advice.

it's getting pretty late where i am, but i'll probably read a few more and leave one review for the few of them.
5/6/2013 c16 ellision
tf catcher gets more confusing by the minute. i'm really interested in their motives now. aside from a) actually liking mackie and b) wanting to expose her, i'm not sure what else there could be there. we shall see!

i kind of hope it is a secret admirer. but that's just me being a girl who is single and hasn't liked anyone since her noncommittal kind of ex fling dude that still won't commit. haha.

having emily help in a plan is really cute. cute and adorable seem to be my adjectives for this story. it's really nice to read fluffy things once in a while to counteract whatever's bothersome at the time. oh, and procrastination. i'm procrastinating to the max right now.

bears? which bears team? super curious because i lived in chicago for a year. crazy football fans there.

the ending was pretty interesting. i'm definitely curious to see as to why reese was acting the way he was. onto the the next one!
5/6/2013 c14 ellision
mackie's reaction to figuring out that tf catcher might not be an admirer is so sad. i remember when that kind of thing was the end of the world. i mean, for girls in general, that kind of thing is always the end of the world. so it's tugging at my heart strings reading it. talk about bad stress dreams.

my one question about mackie's plan at the end of the chapter is how can she do that when she sent tf catcher the email at the beginning of the chapter? she basically accused this person of being a non-admirer and kind of implied cussing. because of that, i'm not sure this plan is plausible. maybe with some editing that could get cleared up a bit. or it might clear itself up in the coming chapters. i'll find out soon i suppose!
5/6/2013 c13 ellision
i completely forgot that angela was interested in reese. i'm just being so forgetful lately. no wonder she gave mackie that look. it's getting thicker by the minute, this plot is. i remember when life really was that tangled. not sure if i miss it, but it's definitely fun reliving it through fictional characters! mackie and reese are just the perfect medium for that.

and thus the consideration of reese as a significant other begins. the feel of his body against heeeers. yup. it begins.

"I ask, ignoring his request." here, 'ask' should be 'asked'.

mackie really gives out a lot of free drinks, it seems. maybe a line in there explaining how she can do that would help me believe it more. as someone who has worked in fast food, that would kill you. the managers wouldn't be cool with that at all. so her sneaking around seems a bit more plausible to me for that, unless she had some sort of permission from her boss.

and then she realizes what i knew from the start. it's not a secret admirer at all. can't wait to see what happens next.
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