Just In
for Adrift

4/18/2011 c1 78Insanity Streak
This is a truly lovely piece. Your flow is melodious and consistent. You have some well written lines like, "hand stiched from divinity" and "I wished on navigational stars for you" My favourite is the first one I mentioned.

Another thing I like is the metaphor about being pulled out of the sea of consciousness, but my constructive criticism is: what was you protaganist conscious of? Was it a consciousness of love or consciousness in terms of realisation? If you just mean consciousness in a literal way, I think I need a bit more clarification.

I quite enjoyed this, plus it reminds me of the older style poetry; 1800-1900's style. For me this was a 7.5 out of 10. I've also read some of your other poetry and it is absolutely stupendous. You are a really talented poet. Keep up the lovely poetry.
3/23/2011 c1 recycle rhymes
This is pretty I remember the last one month poem I wrote. Still one of the best things I've written although it's not on fp. I really like the images you create with your words.

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