for Les Adamnas4/23/2011 c2 Punslinger
This has possibilities. A good fantasy set-up with lively dialogue and interesting characters. Mostly well-written, with a few glaring mistakes such as: "You can have it actually read through it tonight..."
You should carefully proofread to catch typos.
This has possibilities. A good fantasy set-up with lively dialogue and interesting characters. Mostly well-written, with a few glaring mistakes such as: "You can have it actually read through it tonight..."
You should carefully proofread to catch typos.
4/17/2011 c1 
5Drops of Jewpiter
great language/writing style. maybe make the sections a little longer? keep going!
5Drops of Jewpitergreat language/writing style. maybe make the sections a little longer? keep going!