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for The Love That Binds

5/16/2013 c5 6Empirestv
The villain Arachnos was a little silly, but I understand him to be a plot device to bring the other three main characters together. I like the old feel about it, but I do find that it is bogged down with description. My personal preference is smaller paragraphs and more dialogue, but that's a personal thing. I enjoy the green eyes being mentioned. There is always something a little supernatural and sinister about them.
5/4/2011 c4 Rita A. Black
I like the sublety of their moment together. You think you know what's going on, but you can't be sure. I liked this chapter a lot.
5/4/2011 c3 Rita A. Black
Your writing has a very old feel about it, much like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Victorian and I like that very much. You may want to re-think the amount of descriptive prose you use because sometimes you're bogged down in description and we miss the action. My only other criticism is- Man Spider. Really?

Having said that, I do really like the conflict you're building with Marissa and Leif and Elysia. Good job. and I really liked your opening paragrah.

Can't wait to read more.
4/28/2011 c2 Realmentealpedo
Great story!
4/27/2011 c2 Rita A. Black
I am so glad you included the back story, that is very important. There is so much more to this story and I'm looking forward to reading it.
4/25/2011 c1 Rita A. Black
I liked this. I liked your introduction to the characters, and although I'm familiar with them, I hope you'll write more of a backstory so we learn how Leif and Elysia became a family. I also like Marissa and I see a conflict between Elysia and her with Leif in the middle. Will Elysia be the jealous type? Hmm. I thought she would have been a bit more elegant drinking the blood; I imagine that she would treat it more like a fine wine, but then, if it is the blood of criminals, perhaps not.

I would like to encourage you to write more and finish this story. Your characters are very interesting and this is something I'm anxious to read. Good luck.

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