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for Riding the Streets

9/26/2011 c1 5Whirlymerle
[We were identical twins, Michael and I] If you mean this figuratively, I think you might want to be more explicit about that. As it is however, it sounds a little too literal, and that's not possible since Michael and Michelle are of different genders.

I really like Michelle's down to earth and humorous narration, and I thought you definitely ended on a high note. However, writing wise, I'm not as big a fan than your other piece, mainly because of the fact that the way you introduce your characters "he was my brother, and looked like this" seems like too much of a background info dump. I think you couldn't have incorporated some of the characterization more creatively.

Nevertheless, good job,

9/17/2011 c1 2tilly07
How cute!

I so understand how she feels.

I really hope this one can continue. Kinda curious about how Blake feels about Michelle.

It's pretty open ended, so hope you can narrow all the different possibilities down :D
5/6/2011 c1 2Its.Not.Me.Its.You
Can't wait for more!
5/1/2011 c1 387tolerate
What coincidence! An amazing story - it gives the reader space for imagination. :)
4/30/2011 c1 Copril
Oh ho ho ho ho..I really liked the way you started this; just the basics, it really pulls you in. Even though this bit was short, I think I'm going to like this story - especially because it sounds like my cup of tea. I'm glad you've started it like this, it doesn't give too much away and I wonder where the next one will lift off from. Can't wait for an update! (:
4/30/2011 c1 2Just A Star
Hi! I liked it so far. But I didn't understand much. Is she in university or already finished university? I hop the boy her brother introduced is the mysterious boy of the bike. I'll be waiting for the next chapter. :)
4/30/2011 c1 2Lacey-Chan666
This story is interesting so far. You should update it soon. I want to know what happens!


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