for Son of the East Wind7/1/2006 c8 dazed anonymous reader
wow. great story. love it so far. i like how you kept zoe nameless until michael asked him for his name. ^_^ i dont really know why i'm commenting on that but oh well. oh, and i think it would've been a lot better if you had added a scene where michael teaches zoe the basics of magic and how to create his fireballs. have you ever read tamora pierce's circle of magic books? as i was reading, i was thinking of how she describes how the mages teach their apprentices to control their magic and thought that might make your story a little better. but good job anyways! when i saw that you hadn't updated in over two years, i was a bit turned off, but i decided to give you the benefit of the doubt and try your story, and now i'm glad did. or maybe you already finished this story? i don't know. your summary says it's still ongoing so...i'll just see when i get there. hopefully you didn't end it on a cliffhanger or that would be torture...now i'm starting to wonder who the baby in the prologue is...i have an idea but...anyways this is getting to be a long review...so i guess i'll just end it here and continue reading...^_^'
wow. great story. love it so far. i like how you kept zoe nameless until michael asked him for his name. ^_^ i dont really know why i'm commenting on that but oh well. oh, and i think it would've been a lot better if you had added a scene where michael teaches zoe the basics of magic and how to create his fireballs. have you ever read tamora pierce's circle of magic books? as i was reading, i was thinking of how she describes how the mages teach their apprentices to control their magic and thought that might make your story a little better. but good job anyways! when i saw that you hadn't updated in over two years, i was a bit turned off, but i decided to give you the benefit of the doubt and try your story, and now i'm glad did. or maybe you already finished this story? i don't know. your summary says it's still ongoing so...i'll just see when i get there. hopefully you didn't end it on a cliffhanger or that would be torture...now i'm starting to wonder who the baby in the prologue is...i have an idea but...anyways this is getting to be a long review...so i guess i'll just end it here and continue reading...^_^'
6/20/2006 c21 
1PlymouthFury
OMG I love it^^ (especially the getting high part & Patrik saying the whole "but I just swore off sex thing"^^) I can't wait til you submut the last chapter!
1PlymouthFuryOMG I love it^^ (especially the getting high part & Patrik saying the whole "but I just swore off sex thing"^^) I can't wait til you submut the last chapter!
4/25/2006 c21 3Benji's VIP
This was a great story!I'm glad Michael and Zoe finally got together. I swear I thought those two would never get it together.
~B~
3Benji's VIPThis was a great story!I'm glad Michael and Zoe finally got together. I swear I thought those two would never get it together.
~B~
4/18/2006 c3 Silvermist
Despite quite a few grammatical errors I find this story to be enjoyable, and worth a read.
Despite quite a few grammatical errors I find this story to be enjoyable, and worth a read.
3/12/2006 c21 Fire
Excellent read. The story sounds completed, so I was surprised by the Continue tag.
Hmm - a consistent typo is the use of "all ready" for the word already.
Excellent read. The story sounds completed, so I was surprised by the Continue tag.
Hmm - a consistent typo is the use of "all ready" for the word already.
3/5/2006 c21 Alicia
Ah! I love this story! It's so incredibly amazingly awesome! ^_^^_^^_^ I hope that you put up the next (last?) chapter son! And thank you for writing such a terrific story! *huggles*
Ah! I love this story! It's so incredibly amazingly awesome! ^_^^_^^_^ I hope that you put up the next (last?) chapter son! And thank you for writing such a terrific story! *huggles*
12/22/2005 c21 Vee
you do know that in 2 months it's going to be like 2 years since you updated this? Can we please, *please* have the ending? T_TI hope your muses can manage a little spark of interest and motivation for this story. The detail and character work was wonderful and I adored the storyline, it was interesting all the way through. I love the slave part in the beginning, the rescues, the mages, everything. And it's so kickass that you named the boy 'Zoe' I love that.This was amazing, definitely publish worthy:) Love it, and hope to have the last chapter someday in the future.^_^ Thanks for the amazing read!
you do know that in 2 months it's going to be like 2 years since you updated this? Can we please, *please* have the ending? T_TI hope your muses can manage a little spark of interest and motivation for this story. The detail and character work was wonderful and I adored the storyline, it was interesting all the way through. I love the slave part in the beginning, the rescues, the mages, everything. And it's so kickass that you named the boy 'Zoe' I love that.This was amazing, definitely publish worthy:) Love it, and hope to have the last chapter someday in the future.^_^ Thanks for the amazing read!
11/22/2005 c4 caverot
This is very good. You have a gift for description, and the feelings are very vivid. Characters are totally believeable. Keep writing.
This is very good. You have a gift for description, and the feelings are very vivid. Characters are totally believeable. Keep writing.
8/10/2005 c21 Lily
...Well!
I have now just finished the story, or what you've got of it posted. And I am further impressed! I am pleased to see what that two-year break did for the overall maturity of the writing - and they swear! Yay!
The bedroom scene between Zoe and Patrik was touching and lovely, and the situation that led them there had me tittering about how dumb I thought Micheal was being. I am very happy he got a figurative slap upside the head!
I'm curious as to whether or not you intentionally tied any significance to Eden's name or not. I made a couple of connections, but I won't bother you with them here.
Again, I'm afraid that I must mention a few minor mistakes, but I still think they are merely typos, and thus easily forgiveable.
Overall, I rate this story as "wonderful!" Original, engaging, a touch of humor and a bucketful of action, and a healthy helping of angst to spice it up - you've got a good recipe, here, don't lose it!
And now I hope that you'll finish the story before another two years pass! It's been one and a half... perhaps my prospects do not look so bright. Nonetheless, I really do want you to finish this, so please be inspired to write again! Soon!
...Well!
I have now just finished the story, or what you've got of it posted. And I am further impressed! I am pleased to see what that two-year break did for the overall maturity of the writing - and they swear! Yay!
The bedroom scene between Zoe and Patrik was touching and lovely, and the situation that led them there had me tittering about how dumb I thought Micheal was being. I am very happy he got a figurative slap upside the head!
I'm curious as to whether or not you intentionally tied any significance to Eden's name or not. I made a couple of connections, but I won't bother you with them here.
Again, I'm afraid that I must mention a few minor mistakes, but I still think they are merely typos, and thus easily forgiveable.
Overall, I rate this story as "wonderful!" Original, engaging, a touch of humor and a bucketful of action, and a healthy helping of angst to spice it up - you've got a good recipe, here, don't lose it!
And now I hope that you'll finish the story before another two years pass! It's been one and a half... perhaps my prospects do not look so bright. Nonetheless, I really do want you to finish this, so please be inspired to write again! Soon!
8/7/2005 c6 Lily
Well, now, it seems I have stumbled upon a nice story here!
I am so impressed with this piece here, in fact, that I am submitting a review before I finish the story. And, just so you know, I have not read any other reviews of this story, and have only myself read through ch. 6.
You certainly have good imagination, and are developing the plotline very well. The story is intriguing, the characters engaging, and the world in which they live seems well-planned.
You could use a bit of polishing in spelling and grammar, and a small bit of capitalization. These mistakes could be just typos, so a good proofreading should fix them. And remember, if you're not sure, look it up!
Further, it seems to me that considering the subject material of this story, your characters, particularly Micheal, are inconsistent with several situations through their non-use of strong language. What I mean to say is, none of them swear. That's great for a children's book, but that genre does not tell stories about child slavery, especially the pedophilic kind. Words like "gall" or "dang" just do not seem like the type of thing a mercenary mage would say when he's in trouble. And I don't think a religiouis tenet would be excuse enough, here.
But, I do not mean to nag. I just wanted to make my opinion clear.
Do not let it distract you! Remember that on the whole, I am very impressed with "Son of the East Wind," and am looking forward to reading the rest of the story!
If you are working on any project in fiction now, I highly encourage you to keep working on it!
Well, now, it seems I have stumbled upon a nice story here!
I am so impressed with this piece here, in fact, that I am submitting a review before I finish the story. And, just so you know, I have not read any other reviews of this story, and have only myself read through ch. 6.
You certainly have good imagination, and are developing the plotline very well. The story is intriguing, the characters engaging, and the world in which they live seems well-planned.
You could use a bit of polishing in spelling and grammar, and a small bit of capitalization. These mistakes could be just typos, so a good proofreading should fix them. And remember, if you're not sure, look it up!
Further, it seems to me that considering the subject material of this story, your characters, particularly Micheal, are inconsistent with several situations through their non-use of strong language. What I mean to say is, none of them swear. That's great for a children's book, but that genre does not tell stories about child slavery, especially the pedophilic kind. Words like "gall" or "dang" just do not seem like the type of thing a mercenary mage would say when he's in trouble. And I don't think a religiouis tenet would be excuse enough, here.
But, I do not mean to nag. I just wanted to make my opinion clear.
Do not let it distract you! Remember that on the whole, I am very impressed with "Son of the East Wind," and am looking forward to reading the rest of the story!
If you are working on any project in fiction now, I highly encourage you to keep working on it!
7/23/2005 c21 5Meaglin
wow. *sits in amazement* this was a great read. :) i enjoyed it so much. i started reading it at around 3 pm, i coulndt stop till 8 30 pm. amazing. truly. i love this story, definitely one of my favourites. the characters are great, i love zoe, and the twins (why did the one have to die?). Anyway, it appears you are still going to continue this story. PLus hurry. i mean, like it is now is a great ending, but knowing that you might have more in store for us (ME!) is exciting. :) please update
5Meaglinwow. *sits in amazement* this was a great read. :) i enjoyed it so much. i started reading it at around 3 pm, i coulndt stop till 8 30 pm. amazing. truly. i love this story, definitely one of my favourites. the characters are great, i love zoe, and the twins (why did the one have to die?). Anyway, it appears you are still going to continue this story. PLus hurry. i mean, like it is now is a great ending, but knowing that you might have more in store for us (ME!) is exciting. :) please update
7/9/2005 c21 3gypsy madamme
this was a very frustrating story i must say. annoying as hell. mainly because i expected better of zoe. in all situations. and i'm not too impressed really when charaters love each other but come up with stupid reasons, or do even more stupid things and just forgive each other in ten lines. it was very well written i must commend you on that. great plot as well and the sentinel thing was interesting. i guess just the romance was lacking and severely disappointing.
3gypsy madammethis was a very frustrating story i must say. annoying as hell. mainly because i expected better of zoe. in all situations. and i'm not too impressed really when charaters love each other but come up with stupid reasons, or do even more stupid things and just forgive each other in ten lines. it was very well written i must commend you on that. great plot as well and the sentinel thing was interesting. i guess just the romance was lacking and severely disappointing.