for Son of the East Wind12/2/2004 c21 LDDurham
This is such a well thought out plot. You have such wonderful sense details that put the reader in the story so very naturally. Your characters are so real and solid and extremely varied. They have their own thoughts, attitudes and motivations. This is truly one of the better fics that I have found on this and other sites. I do hope you continue it. Oh, and can I just say, that Eden's "death" scene was just one of the most beautiful ones I have ever encountered whether in published, unpublished, or motion picture work. Just gorgeous in it's simplicity! Thank you so much for this epic, it's been a pleasure to read. Please consider updating soon.
This is such a well thought out plot. You have such wonderful sense details that put the reader in the story so very naturally. Your characters are so real and solid and extremely varied. They have their own thoughts, attitudes and motivations. This is truly one of the better fics that I have found on this and other sites. I do hope you continue it. Oh, and can I just say, that Eden's "death" scene was just one of the most beautiful ones I have ever encountered whether in published, unpublished, or motion picture work. Just gorgeous in it's simplicity! Thank you so much for this epic, it's been a pleasure to read. Please consider updating soon.
7/31/2004 c21 
64Sykes
Ok, I really like this story. And to make that perfectly clear, let me say this: I found your story yesterday and plowed through all 21 chapters (prologue included) in about 12 hours, on and off. I sorely hope you're going to continue (as it stands now, it's been 5 months since your last update but after reading that you once took 2 years between posts, I'm still hopeful)! Please continue, if you don't mind the ravings of a new fan. :P
64SykesOk, I really like this story. And to make that perfectly clear, let me say this: I found your story yesterday and plowed through all 21 chapters (prologue included) in about 12 hours, on and off. I sorely hope you're going to continue (as it stands now, it's been 5 months since your last update but after reading that you once took 2 years between posts, I'm still hopeful)! Please continue, if you don't mind the ravings of a new fan. :P
7/1/2004 c14 28Deluminated
I like these goddesses. They're so responsive.
Anyway, one blatant error: "I here you, Captain." Nathan wheeled his horse, giving directions to the three scouts, and they started out.
Should be 'hear'.
Also, why do some mages go to schools (like Micheal) and some are apprentices (like Zoe)?
28DeluminatedI like these goddesses. They're so responsive.
Anyway, one blatant error: "I here you, Captain." Nathan wheeled his horse, giving directions to the three scouts, and they started out.
Should be 'hear'.
Also, why do some mages go to schools (like Micheal) and some are apprentices (like Zoe)?
6/30/2004 c13 Deluminated
Interesting developments all around, I must say. I've read thirteen chapters today, and unfortunately, I must leave...but it's definitely a good sign that you held my attention that long.
I'll be back.
Interesting developments all around, I must say. I've read thirteen chapters today, and unfortunately, I must leave...but it's definitely a good sign that you held my attention that long.
I'll be back.
6/30/2004 c12 Deluminated
Interesting plot you're developing.
I just thought Patrik was being an ass...I wish Micheal would stop trying to protect Zoe from things he might not want protection from, though.
Interesting plot you're developing.
I just thought Patrik was being an ass...I wish Micheal would stop trying to protect Zoe from things he might not want protection from, though.
6/30/2004 c10 Deluminated
Hmm...ouch. The age difference is a hurtle. I can't decide if I want a happy ending or a tragic one. Thankfully I have eleven chapters to decide.
Hmm...ouch. The age difference is a hurtle. I can't decide if I want a happy ending or a tragic one. Thankfully I have eleven chapters to decide.
6/30/2004 c9 Deluminated
..Interesting.
Story, story, story, PLOT CHANGE!
Like keeping us on our toes, eh? And I see he's back to 'the boy.'
..Interesting.
Story, story, story, PLOT CHANGE!
Like keeping us on our toes, eh? And I see he's back to 'the boy.'
6/30/2004 c6 Deluminated
Hm...I really do want to know what's up with Patrik now. Also, information on the magic reserves would be good, too. Can he only use so much magic? Does it replenish itself? How often?
Hm...I really do want to know what's up with Patrik now. Also, information on the magic reserves would be good, too. Can he only use so much magic? Does it replenish itself? How often?
6/30/2004 c5 Deluminated
Odd, the way you incorporate some of our slang into their culture. Interesting, though.
The transition into using magic was a little sudden, but I'll look for more information later on...
All of this is very interesting. Good job with Patrik.
Odd, the way you incorporate some of our slang into their culture. Interesting, though.
The transition into using magic was a little sudden, but I'll look for more information later on...
All of this is very interesting. Good job with Patrik.
6/30/2004 c4 Deluminated
The concept of the mages' hair and eye color changing is good, though I await anxiously the explanation of the training process.
The concept of the mages' hair and eye color changing is good, though I await anxiously the explanation of the training process.
6/30/2004 c3 Deluminated
I like the subtle manifestation you've mentioned with the boy...and I'd like to have a name to call this boy soon. All in good time, I suppose. I'll read on.
I like the subtle manifestation you've mentioned with the boy...and I'd like to have a name to call this boy soon. All in good time, I suppose. I'll read on.
6/30/2004 c2 Deluminated
I'm liking this story so far. You did a good job with the prologue, too.
Remember to capitalize the first word of any sentence, even if it's in dialogue, and "I" is always a capital letter. Those are the only problems I've had.
Great writing, so far.
I'm liking this story so far. You did a good job with the prologue, too.
Remember to capitalize the first word of any sentence, even if it's in dialogue, and "I" is always a capital letter. Those are the only problems I've had.
Great writing, so far.
6/19/2004 c21 3Sh'arra Rie
This is a wonderfull story that I can not wate to be updated! I looved to seen with the god of sea's! Pleas update soon, I will go crazier than I alredy am if those two don't get to gether soon!
Sh'arra
3Sh'arra RieThis is a wonderfull story that I can not wate to be updated! I looved to seen with the god of sea's! Pleas update soon, I will go crazier than I alredy am if those two don't get to gether soon!
Sh'arra
6/8/2004 c21 26pneumothorax
Personally, a little too much conversation about planning fights although the plot itself was delicious. The bond between the characters Zoe and Michael is unique, it's incredibly special sounding and just makes me want to read on and on.. and wait for the next chapter :P This is a very usefless review in that it doesn't explain any problems - mainly because I couldn't find any. Apart from the one about over use of war conversations when it seemed things could be plotted without having a whole chapter on it, or perhaps the scene changing while they did plot, but hmm. Not like you can change it. Lovely story, well done :) (r&r back?)
26pneumothoraxPersonally, a little too much conversation about planning fights although the plot itself was delicious. The bond between the characters Zoe and Michael is unique, it's incredibly special sounding and just makes me want to read on and on.. and wait for the next chapter :P This is a very usefless review in that it doesn't explain any problems - mainly because I couldn't find any. Apart from the one about over use of war conversations when it seemed things could be plotted without having a whole chapter on it, or perhaps the scene changing while they did plot, but hmm. Not like you can change it. Lovely story, well done :) (r&r back?)