for Katie's Hellion Rhyn Trilogy, Book One9/6/2013 c7 Guest
the warmth that flowed through her. She wanted more of him, all of him, and the heat of need settled into her lower abdomen.
A throat cleared behind him. Rhyn twisted his head away with a warning growl, and the world crashed down on her.
What in the name of everything holy was she doing? Getting ready to tear her shirt open and throw herself down for a monster? She felt the heat -his heat -within her, branding her from the inside out.
"Sire, you've been warned," Daniela said in her crisp tone.
Rhyn turned to face the robed woman, and Katie slid away from him. Her thoughts jangled in her head, some desperate for him to continue, others claiming she couldn't go home if she started down this path, and still others saying she was screwed
the warmth that flowed through her. She wanted more of him, all of him, and the heat of need settled into her lower abdomen.
A throat cleared behind him. Rhyn twisted his head away with a warning growl, and the world crashed down on her.
What in the name of everything holy was she doing? Getting ready to tear her shirt open and throw herself down for a monster? She felt the heat -his heat -within her, branding her from the inside out.
"Sire, you've been warned," Daniela said in her crisp tone.
Rhyn turned to face the robed woman, and Katie slid away from him. Her thoughts jangled in her head, some desperate for him to continue, others claiming she couldn't go home if she started down this path, and still others saying she was screwed
1/8/2013 c10 
1Capture.My.Moments
LOL! Hi Lizzy! I can't believe you're on fictionpress! I was shocked to see your story pop up and even more shocked to see so little reviews. This is by far, one of my favorites from you. It deserves a LOT more recognition. For anyone thats wondering whether or not she writing a part two, she already did! along with a part three and gabriels own series! :) she also made some minor changes and fixed up katies hellion. I've actually read all of her books and have to say, they get better and better with even more twists. For anyone that doesn't already know, all of her books are on sale at her website shop/ . And if you're indecisive about which books you want to read, i totally recommend her witchling trilogy, it is by far the best shes written. Happy reading -Melina
1Capture.My.MomentsLOL! Hi Lizzy! I can't believe you're on fictionpress! I was shocked to see your story pop up and even more shocked to see so little reviews. This is by far, one of my favorites from you. It deserves a LOT more recognition. For anyone thats wondering whether or not she writing a part two, she already did! along with a part three and gabriels own series! :) she also made some minor changes and fixed up katies hellion. I've actually read all of her books and have to say, they get better and better with even more twists. For anyone that doesn't already know, all of her books are on sale at her website shop/ . And if you're indecisive about which books you want to read, i totally recommend her witchling trilogy, it is by far the best shes written. Happy reading -Melina
11/26/2012 c10 SundayMorning73
So amazing! Def one of my favorites, I love rhyn so much as a character.
So amazing! Def one of my favorites, I love rhyn so much as a character.
11/25/2012 c1 K.D. Wolfe
Wow, I loved it!
It was fast paced and your characters where just the right amount of insane and brilliant.
On to reading the sequel!
Wow, I loved it!
It was fast paced and your characters where just the right amount of insane and brilliant.
On to reading the sequel!
9/20/2011 c4 6demi.91
I had to say something more...about chapter 4...this was a perfect mix of comedy and horror.. The fact that the monsters call her "lunchmeat" and call out different offers on how they will kill/rape/eat/drink her. "no pain" "less pain"...it was a nice comic relief. Then mixed with the horror of what they're actually offering, the fear of Rhyn pounding his body against his cage. It's just a perfect mix. You are very talented.
6demi.91I had to say something more...about chapter 4...this was a perfect mix of comedy and horror.. The fact that the monsters call her "lunchmeat" and call out different offers on how they will kill/rape/eat/drink her. "no pain" "less pain"...it was a nice comic relief. Then mixed with the horror of what they're actually offering, the fear of Rhyn pounding his body against his cage. It's just a perfect mix. You are very talented.
9/20/2011 c10 demi.91
You've got to be kidding me! Only 8 reviews...this story is really awesome, I'm been reading it for the last few hours instead of working on my essay...a bit confusing at times with everything that happens..and extremely fast-paced, maybe consider giving Katie a breather lol. Otherwise one of the better stories on this site, hope you get the recognition you deserve soon. Demi
You've got to be kidding me! Only 8 reviews...this story is really awesome, I'm been reading it for the last few hours instead of working on my essay...a bit confusing at times with everything that happens..and extremely fast-paced, maybe consider giving Katie a breather lol. Otherwise one of the better stories on this site, hope you get the recognition you deserve soon. Demi
9/5/2011 c10 2BeetrootIsPink
Is this finished...
Because I really dont want it to be!
I like this story
Heeeeeeaps!
Write some more...please!
2BeetrootIsPinkIs this finished...
Because I really dont want it to be!
I like this story
Heeeeeeaps!
Write some more...please!
8/14/2011 c1 Gizmos
Hey ... Where's the rest of the story? The plot is amazing and your writing style keeps me interested. It's very suspenseful and I can't even guess what will happen next. so ... Where's the rest of it?
Hey ... Where's the rest of the story? The plot is amazing and your writing style keeps me interested. It's very suspenseful and I can't even guess what will happen next. so ... Where's the rest of it?
7/17/2011 c10 1Sachi Nehme
Okay. I like the story this far! It's pretty innovative and the characters are amazing! The plot is extremely stable, which can be hard with all of the sub-plots you have going on, and it's very interesting. It's the kind of plot writer's wish they could have, and that reader's want to read.
And the characters are so well developed! I love how Katie maintains her feistiness, even though she gets the shit beat out of her for it. And her strong will/attitude is nicely balanced out by her frailty (physically, I mean). And Rhyn... isn't so much of an ass now. I realize now that you needed the time to flesh him out more, make him a bit more human. I'm excited to see what you have in store for the two of them.
Kris... seems to be one of those people with the inner-battling. They want to do good, but they hesitate to do something bad in order to get the end result they wish.
The beginning of your story was pretty solid, but still a bit shakey. With your plot, which is so complicated (you make it work, though!), it's easy to understand how hard it is to introduce the reader to everything AND carry on with your story.
I think what would best aid your story is the use of line breaks. Just to let the reader know that, "Okay. This is a different train of though." I believe that it would help a lot.
Also, and this goes for if you ever ant to go back and edit, you might want to spend a bit more time in the beginning, and kind of flesh everything out. I was extremely confused in the beginning because of all the names and different dynamics. It kind of hit me like a bag of bricks.
However, I must say that you are an extremely imaginative writer. And you're also very good at what you do. Everything seems to kind of flow once you established what's going on. And your dialogue is great!
1Sachi NehmeOkay. I like the story this far! It's pretty innovative and the characters are amazing! The plot is extremely stable, which can be hard with all of the sub-plots you have going on, and it's very interesting. It's the kind of plot writer's wish they could have, and that reader's want to read.
And the characters are so well developed! I love how Katie maintains her feistiness, even though she gets the shit beat out of her for it. And her strong will/attitude is nicely balanced out by her frailty (physically, I mean). And Rhyn... isn't so much of an ass now. I realize now that you needed the time to flesh him out more, make him a bit more human. I'm excited to see what you have in store for the two of them.
Kris... seems to be one of those people with the inner-battling. They want to do good, but they hesitate to do something bad in order to get the end result they wish.
The beginning of your story was pretty solid, but still a bit shakey. With your plot, which is so complicated (you make it work, though!), it's easy to understand how hard it is to introduce the reader to everything AND carry on with your story.
I think what would best aid your story is the use of line breaks. Just to let the reader know that, "Okay. This is a different train of though." I believe that it would help a lot.
Also, and this goes for if you ever ant to go back and edit, you might want to spend a bit more time in the beginning, and kind of flesh everything out. I was extremely confused in the beginning because of all the names and different dynamics. It kind of hit me like a bag of bricks.
However, I must say that you are an extremely imaginative writer. And you're also very good at what you do. Everything seems to kind of flow once you established what's going on. And your dialogue is great!
6/4/2011 c10 2BloodyGlaiveDragon
Noooooo... Poor Ryhn. I am completely in love with his character. The ending seemed a bit abrupt, but otherwise, the storyline and plot were amazing :D
2BloodyGlaiveDragonNoooooo... Poor Ryhn. I am completely in love with his character. The ending seemed a bit abrupt, but otherwise, the storyline and plot were amazing :D
5/30/2011 c10 3MonicaAlveen
I've never written a review before, but this story was just so GREAT! I can't wait for the next!
3MonicaAlveenI've never written a review before, but this story was just so GREAT! I can't wait for the next!
5/30/2011 c10 fox999
Ok... this was brilliant, I just spent the better half of the day reading this and I am in awe, it's so well thought out and has a nice blend of comedy, romance, and action
I applaud you for writing a piece of fiction as awesome as this, can't wait to read the second part
Ok... this was brilliant, I just spent the better half of the day reading this and I am in awe, it's so well thought out and has a nice blend of comedy, romance, and action
I applaud you for writing a piece of fiction as awesome as this, can't wait to read the second part