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for ashes from a different sky

10/17/2011 c1 82steffxnie
I loveee this. From the start 'when the gravity of my eyes could not beat that of the boundless skies, I found myself lost in the pools of twinkling lights...' This is so poetic and simply pretty! :

I haven't favorited anything for a while now, I really should for this one. :)

6/27/2011 c1 237classic violet
Epic. Amazing. Superb. Breathtaking. Gorgeous. This is perfect. I love each line and how it ends. You are, most definitely, a talented writer.
6/4/2011 c1 3Sole-Reverie
"When I finally had the valour to try to drown my snowdrop tears falling off eyelashesI found myself burning from star-kissed intensity into ashes."

My favorite line...it just rolls off the tongue. Very fun to say. Beautiful poem! :)
5/30/2011 c1 16Serendipitist Swan
There is something so beautiful about this poem. The imagery you use describe space,the different sky, is simple yet very provoking. Maybe it's because space is so pretty.

Did you look at pictures of space for inspiration for this poem? The good pictures make space seem so alive. Like the picture of a community of nebulae in Orion's belt (here it is if you want to check it out, http:/www.19thpsalm.org/Ch05/index_files/HorseheadNebula.jpg)

The last stanza invokes the image of a phoenix (a space phoenix) and gives a hopeful conclusion to the piece.

5/30/2011 c1 1Lucreace
I liked the rythmn of the piece and how you build the description of the constelations.

The repitition of the second line seemed a bit irksome, particularly with the adverb 'definitely' It made the tone a bit patronising and seemed unnessesary to me. If you remove the adverb, it was easier to read... if you get what I mean...

Other than this, it was a good read. I liked the rhyming at the end of the lines too.

Hope this helps and thanks for the review of my story too.


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