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4/24/2012 c1 1Ram Attra
love this story the characters the deatail the stroy line and the title of the story!man if i was a publisher this would have been on the shelfs a long time ago.and i have a litle bit of luck here since someone is so amazing can you reveiw my story and possibly give some feed back for improvement or good thing in the story :)

Mate but this story has nothing wrong with and you shall cary on!
4/11/2012 c1 TinfoilKnight
'Lo there.

Did you edit and repost this? Ha, I know CyanideMango, she got kicked off this site a year ago...

Interesting story. It's short and completely unrealistic, and it somehow works that way. People marry for the stupidest things, and this is a great satire of that. I actually read this last night and bypassed it (*gasp!* I know, I'm a terrible person) but kept thinking of it today and came back to leave a review. :)

"She knew she shouldn't; it was going to ruin her diet again, but night after night, softer than a mouse, she tiptoed down the stairs." 'Softer than a mouse' is a tad cliched - c'mon, you're creative enough to come up with a better simile! I believe in you!

"Funny, he said. You've changed flavors- and he was sour all through their date." LOL. I don't care if you meant it or not, sour combined with flavors totally makes a pun.

:) Keep writing!
6/8/2011 c1 3CyanideMangoOfMassDestruction
This is hilarious! I love it so much! The tone of your writing was perfect, and the glass double D bra was pure genius! I loved the ending too.

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