for Departing9/23/2011 c1 
82KatKatrina
i think you're a great poet! I love this poem even though it made me kinda sad. Keep writing!
82KatKatrinai think you're a great poet! I love this poem even though it made me kinda sad. Keep writing!
8/28/2011 c1 336TheGlycoprotein
I love the structure of this. I also like the repetition of "gone" in the alternate lines - it gives a lot of impact and hits the reader hard (in my opinion). I could be picky and say if you'd wanted to you could have made it rhyme, and that may or may not have made the poem better, but I think on this occasion the rawness of it only adds to the atmosphere of the poem. Really well done :)
336TheGlycoproteinI love the structure of this. I also like the repetition of "gone" in the alternate lines - it gives a lot of impact and hits the reader hard (in my opinion). I could be picky and say if you'd wanted to you could have made it rhyme, and that may or may not have made the poem better, but I think on this occasion the rawness of it only adds to the atmosphere of the poem. Really well done :)
7/22/2011 c1 6LeenMariexoxo
This poem has such depth and emotion behind it. I love it! It's serious and touching.
6LeenMariexoxoThis poem has such depth and emotion behind it. I love it! It's serious and touching.
6/27/2011 c1 6Natalie Field
I like the repeating word "Gone". ^^ Nice touch. I would love to see some images in this though. Not so much telling but showing. Showing little signs that this person that you miss is gone. Like (this is gonna sound cliche) showing the necklace that he gave you as a departure gift. IF it's that type of leaving. Or perhaps the unanswered emails you send (still cliche, but you get the picture, right?). Anyway, images for the win.
Had to read this because I had to say goodbye to someone recently. ;(
6Natalie FieldI like the repeating word "Gone". ^^ Nice touch. I would love to see some images in this though. Not so much telling but showing. Showing little signs that this person that you miss is gone. Like (this is gonna sound cliche) showing the necklace that he gave you as a departure gift. IF it's that type of leaving. Or perhaps the unanswered emails you send (still cliche, but you get the picture, right?). Anyway, images for the win.
Had to read this because I had to say goodbye to someone recently. ;(
6/18/2011 c1 Silver
I really like this. As simple as it may seem, it has depth and emotion, and I love the repetition. It really gets your voice across. Keep up the good work! :)
I really like this. As simple as it may seem, it has depth and emotion, and I love the repetition. It really gets your voice across. Keep up the good work! :)
6/9/2011 c1 9Sonia VanDyke
Its rly good. I love it. its so sad though :'( (btw he isnt gone gone. you'll see him again missy)
9Sonia VanDykeIts rly good. I love it. its so sad though :'( (btw he isnt gone gone. you'll see him again missy)
6/8/2011 c1 151ForeverBehindTheImpression
I really liked this. Clearly, there was a lot of repetition, but since it was the feature to the structure of the poem, it wasn't an overkill. I like how it's amplified as the poem progresses that the reality is that he's gone. It does sound like the thoughts and feelings and actions you make when you realise something like this.
151ForeverBehindTheImpressionI really liked this. Clearly, there was a lot of repetition, but since it was the feature to the structure of the poem, it wasn't an overkill. I like how it's amplified as the poem progresses that the reality is that he's gone. It does sound like the thoughts and feelings and actions you make when you realise something like this.