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for skeleton smile

1/25/2012 c1 2hvit
This is beautiful. It's as if humans have turned humanity into something to be reviled, and only death will help them escape. Darkness, where they dare not tread.
1/20/2012 c1 12LivieRose
This was wonderful, how unique it was. I can honestly say I've never read anything like it, and I mean that in a good way, I promise!

Only 2 things;

1. When you use mommy as a name, then it should be capitalized like one

2. It's embedded, not imbedded

Truely wonderful. This story pulled me right into it, and I could see the main character's perspective. Keep writing!

1/19/2012 c1 anaa-pixie
Cute and sad and heartbreaking all at once! Simply amazing!
11/2/2011 c1 1Deaths-Weeping-Angel
I have no idea how you came up with that but I like it.
6/22/2011 c1 5Whirlymerle
Hey there!

Ooh, a story to analyze, you don’t find that often on FP!

I could see the Coraline connection in that there’s the world of color and the world of darkness, though the style, obviously, is very different. Skeleton Girl reminds me a little of The Other Mother, though less maliciously evil

[there was nothing worse that seeing the world in darkness] nothing worse than?

Two thumbs up to you for writing such a beautiful and dark story. I’ll try my hand at analyzing now (and disclaimer, I have a tendency to be waayyyyyyy off, so bear with me):

Okay, so the parts about the remote control and singing in a recording studio is a comment on technology, I think. And since technology is all about color these days, maybe the piece is criticizing the use of technology? The narrator keeps on saying how Skeleton Girl is beautiful, even though at the end, she(?) sees that the Girl is nothing but rotting bones. In the dark world, everything is able to remain pure, thus making it more beautiful?

I have no idea why Skeleton Girl killed the narrator in the first place and claimed that she saved her.

Let me know how my analytical skills measured (or you know, how much I failed)

~Merle, Roadhouse

Would you mind paying back via BDTR or Potpourri?
6/20/2011 c1 8jj1027
This is a very cool story. I find it endearing in some creepy way, and I am ashamed to say that I suspect some of the symbolism or meaning escapes me. It reminds me of animation by Tim Burton, and that is a good thing with me. While I am sure there is more to it than what I have been able to carry out, I love this story, and thank you for the chance to have read it.
6/18/2011 c1 62YFIQ
Damn, that creepy.

It kind of reminds me of those scary stories books, forgot what it's called.

Guess the skeleton girl wants her to herself.
6/18/2011 c1 10Koki Enwai
I'm not sure I quite understood the message - unless it was about either consumerism or loss of innocence - but that didn't stop me from enjoying every word of this. Anyway, I think you achieved what you wanted with this, and the narrative style was refreshing compared to many other things I've read. It wasn't as creepy as I was hoping for, but perhaps I've just been jaded to the subject by now. Nice work.
6/16/2011 c1 3Rosemarysgraden001
That was lovely and so very confusing. I liked that it was more mysterious when it came to the imagery. I can see how Coraline influenced you to write this. The skeleton girl did sound very pretty lol.

6/16/2011 c1 5SimonClemens
...It's beautiful, but

...It's vividly, excellently written meaningful prose, but


At moments I thought I got it, only for it to slip away.

You win, I'll have to read this a few more times.

The literary nerd in me's going to have a field day with this.
6/16/2011 c1 S. Alvette
That was genuinely creepy. Good job.
6/16/2011 c1 16Serendipitist Swan
Coraline! *squee* Best book ever! Insanely creepy, but awesome.

Neil Gaiman would be proud. Your story was confusingly creepy, but I still get the feeling the meaning is deceptively simple. It reminded me more of his Sandman comic series, more than Coraline though. It's a very very well written macabre series and your story reminded me specifically of one issue called Seasons of the Mists, the part where all the dead boys come back to the boarding school they once attended.

It's mch much darker than Coraline, and comparing your work to that series is probably the best compliment I've ever given. I really really liked this story. :)

Happy writing.

6/16/2011 c1 1littlemisstypical
This is...


On one hand, I did like it. A lot. It's bittersweet, and haunting, and the formatting is gorgeous.

Favourited. (:
6/15/2011 c1 29YasuRan
I like to think this is an allegorical tale with the images you paint of darkness and fading innocence. I'm quite fond of the setting and Skeleton Girl; for some reason, it reminds me of a Tim Burton montage (one of my favorite directors).

The character voice is spot-on. I could really get the feel of the psyche of a traumatized little girl lost type. The interactions between her and Skeleton Girl had that eerie feel I associate with light Gothic angst fiction. Particularly the scene where she questions being tripped. It makes me wonder if that's a metaphor for her having been conned into some delusion.

Overall, I found this a vivid, intriguing piece. Keep up the good work :)

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