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10/30/2012 c2 Guest
Jajaja.
10/30/2012 c1 Guest
Interesting :)
7/31/2011 c2 99Dreamers-Requiem
I really like the balence you have between the sort of darkness to this, and the humour. And I like the connection between the man in the last chapter seeing Ramiel and the girl seeing Araqiel in this. Araquiel seems like an interesting character; very cold, very distant and, God, he thinks a lot of himself. Anyways, overall it was a really good chapter, and I loved the use of the camera. Great stuff; I look forward to seeing more.
7/29/2011 c2 15Saoirse Devan
If I sound mean, I am not trying to be. I only critique to help. I am guessing you were trying to give an air of mystery to your story by not telling the reader much, but it doesn't quite do that. Your hook isn't as strong as it could be. Your tone/mood is confusing, so I don't know if this is supposed to be comical, light, or disturbing. Again, just trying to help. Other than that, you have a good, novel foundation.
7/26/2011 c1 99Dreamers-Requiem
Interesting start. I really like the portrayal of death you have here, and the use of the unicycle adds a slight element of humour to it, too, which works nicely. Ramiel's character seems interesting, and you flesh him out for the reader in a fairly short space; I feel that, by the end, we get a strong sense of what type of person he is. Nice intrique with the man being able to see him, and their short conversation, again, worked well. Nothing to critique here :)
7/10/2011 c2 7Lavender Town Massacre
Aw, this is a sad story, but that's the kind of stories I like. Araqiel is kind of mean. Ramiel act just like how I would expect.

Sorry for the late review, I just got from vacation, and I am SUNBURNT!

Anyways, I loved this, keep up the good work.
7/6/2011 c2 2Robin Griffith
I don't know. Araqiel seems kinda heartless, but the little girl gets under his skin a little, too. He had a moment of unease there, and maybe a prick of slight sympathy?

Update soon. These are very interesting. Are they a collection? Is there a theme to bring them together, or one-shots?
7/6/2011 c2 2Jordan Baines
This Araqiel is heartless. I guess that comes with the territory. These glimpses into Death are definitely a different take on the concept. Can't wait to see your next chapter.

Thanks for something different...
6/20/2011 c1 5Dr. Self Destruct
This was great. I love your unique portrayal of death - it's so much nicer than the old black robes and scythe. Ramiel feels much more modern, and I think it's great that he rides around on a unicycle! It adds a bit of humor to his character, not to mention his personality is awesome. I enjoyed his apathy in regards to the human's situation, as well as how he would grimace in disgust instead of offer aid. So very cynical, but great.

His punctuality fits his character's role as well - one would always expect Death to be on time. The fact that the man at the end could see him creates some interesting tension and questions that make me want to keep reading.

The dialogue between the two of them was short and sweet, able to get the message across and develop Ramiel's character even more. I find it interesting that you make it sound as if there is more than one Grim Reaper - I've actually used this myself in one of my stories, and I think it adds so many more interesting possibilities. =)

Great job, I really enjoyed this. ^-^
6/20/2011 c1 Guest
Let's go!

Nicely done.

You're level of writing is at least on par with, if not better than, my own. Consequently I have little of value to offer in the way of criticism.

I will say that in reading your work, I came to wonder exactly how the handling of one unicycle could vary much from another. After some thought, I believe the answer to be very little.

That aside, I feel sentence openers might be your biggest issue. This is only the first piece of yours I've read, and although it was recently uploaded I'm not sure how long ago you may have composed it. It's possible that sentence openers aren't as big an issue anymore.

As a story, I rather enjoyed it and look forward to the next glimpse. Your synopsis suggests that Death, aka the Grim Reaper, is not just one entity but several. I'm curious to see how that plays out.
6/19/2011 c1 4lookingwest
Hello! I've owed you a review for awhile now so apologies for the wait!

I liked this little vignette, at least, it kind of had the flavor of a short story, but then if it's a series of little entries I think it can really work well too, either way. The imagery was wonderful and I really liked the themes with "everyone thinks yours is the right one", that kind of thing. It's so true, and I think you have a really unique way to bring about that message as far as adding in the unicycle, etc. I was prepared for this to be a pretty humorous piece, but then it came with a more serious overtone that worked really well! Enjoyed it, thank you for the read!
6/19/2011 c1 Shiro 21
Ooh, this looks bloody good. Update soon. Love to see a spin on Death.
6/19/2011 c1 2Robin Griffith
Wow. Death sure is organized. Update soon. This is a fascinating look at Fate.
6/19/2011 c1 Chancel
This 'collector' reminds me of a butler, cleaning up, prompt and thorough. Neat.

Can't wait to see the next installment.
6/19/2011 c1 uniquely-unique
Ramiel is so cool. He's so nonchalant about the fact that this guy is dying right in front of him. I guess that's what years of practice do to you. =D

I really hope you update this soon. It's quite different than what I usually read, a nice change.

Britt•Britt
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