for Checklisted2/21/2012 c2 dee
Oh my.. I can hear sound of giggling from their friends from the corner of the room. But I don't think they hear it. :)
I like it when you end it with the kiss. Not some yelling or clapping from their friends.
Oh my.. I can hear sound of giggling from their friends from the corner of the room. But I don't think they hear it. :)
I like it when you end it with the kiss. Not some yelling or clapping from their friends.
1/24/2012 c2 
2Love-Comes-In-Many-Forms
Hi,
I have to say, I've read this story a few times, and I absolutely love it. It has well written tension, and a realistic sense of denial when it comes to Leila. Despite this, I have a bone to pick with you. The ending.
The thing is, I think it is slightly rushed. It gets really, really interesting when Kent mentions this "mystery guy" and chucks the list back at her, but you don't drag it out long enough. These moments are really the turning point of a story for me, so right now yours is sitting on a VERY thin ledge as your story is absolutely amazing, and I love the plot and such, but that last moment could improve so much.
If you're up to it, I would love to see this story edited, but that is my personal opinion, and perhaps many disagree.
Anyway, I do hope you continue writing, and that you use this slight error to your advantage and improve on your writing. You have a talent.
Thanks,
L-C-I-M-F
2Love-Comes-In-Many-FormsHi,
I have to say, I've read this story a few times, and I absolutely love it. It has well written tension, and a realistic sense of denial when it comes to Leila. Despite this, I have a bone to pick with you. The ending.
The thing is, I think it is slightly rushed. It gets really, really interesting when Kent mentions this "mystery guy" and chucks the list back at her, but you don't drag it out long enough. These moments are really the turning point of a story for me, so right now yours is sitting on a VERY thin ledge as your story is absolutely amazing, and I love the plot and such, but that last moment could improve so much.
If you're up to it, I would love to see this story edited, but that is my personal opinion, and perhaps many disagree.
Anyway, I do hope you continue writing, and that you use this slight error to your advantage and improve on your writing. You have a talent.
Thanks,
L-C-I-M-F
11/23/2011 c2 hopelesslovebird
so cute but made me pretty depressed... considering i like my best guy friend and he happens to not like me back :C haha oh well still an adorable story!
so cute but made me pretty depressed... considering i like my best guy friend and he happens to not like me back :C haha oh well still an adorable story!
9/28/2011 c2 HarderToBreathe
That was freaking AWESOME! I loved how Kent reacted to all the checklists and his enraged confession. And it's funny how clueless she was to her own feelings. Great job! Keep it up. :)
That was freaking AWESOME! I loved how Kent reacted to all the checklists and his enraged confession. And it's funny how clueless she was to her own feelings. Great job! Keep it up. :)
8/14/2011 c2 The Imagination Addict
ahahahaha omg this is epic cute. AWWWWW. one of the best best-friends-to-bgr short stories ive ever read :)
ahahahaha omg this is epic cute. AWWWWW. one of the best best-friends-to-bgr short stories ive ever read :)