for Your smell lingers6/25/2011 c1 
45deefective
Flow: Very nicely done. I liked the repetition of "you smell of". Starting off each stanza with that line kept things smooth and consistent. Your writing flowed too. It didn't feel choppy or abrupt but "flow-y", which I also found interesting because it ties into the idea of "smell" you were portraying. It was like a lingering essence of words.
Descriptions/images: My favorite image was in the line: "You smell of interruption". I liked the fact that you used the word "interruption" there, which has no smell of its own and is not an emotion either. It added an interesting element to this piece and made me think. What does interruption smell like? And what exactly comes to mind when I think that? I like that.
Word choice: Your word choice was on point. I liked the fact that you used simple, common words to express a bigger idea and a bigger emotion. I dislike when poetry gets bogged down by complex vocabulary that serves no purpose whatsoever. Your word choice evoked imagery and tone without going overboard. I also liked your use of the word "vulnerability". It's placed perfectly and the following one word line is a great way to end the piece.
Enjoyment: I liked this for two reasons. Firstly, because I felt like I was reading a poem. And secondly because I felt like I wasn't reading a poem. You do a good job of conveying your own emotions with poetry and not letting one overpower the other. I liked the fact that this piece read like someone baring their heart but at the same time it's eloquent and flow-y and poetic.
Other: Only thing I would say is with the formatting. I think this could have had an interesting look and different feel if it was done in lower case. Other than that, this was nicely done.
45deefectiveFlow: Very nicely done. I liked the repetition of "you smell of". Starting off each stanza with that line kept things smooth and consistent. Your writing flowed too. It didn't feel choppy or abrupt but "flow-y", which I also found interesting because it ties into the idea of "smell" you were portraying. It was like a lingering essence of words.
Descriptions/images: My favorite image was in the line: "You smell of interruption". I liked the fact that you used the word "interruption" there, which has no smell of its own and is not an emotion either. It added an interesting element to this piece and made me think. What does interruption smell like? And what exactly comes to mind when I think that? I like that.
Word choice: Your word choice was on point. I liked the fact that you used simple, common words to express a bigger idea and a bigger emotion. I dislike when poetry gets bogged down by complex vocabulary that serves no purpose whatsoever. Your word choice evoked imagery and tone without going overboard. I also liked your use of the word "vulnerability". It's placed perfectly and the following one word line is a great way to end the piece.
Enjoyment: I liked this for two reasons. Firstly, because I felt like I was reading a poem. And secondly because I felt like I wasn't reading a poem. You do a good job of conveying your own emotions with poetry and not letting one overpower the other. I liked the fact that this piece read like someone baring their heart but at the same time it's eloquent and flow-y and poetic.
Other: Only thing I would say is with the formatting. I think this could have had an interesting look and different feel if it was done in lower case. Other than that, this was nicely done.
6/25/2011 c1 35singer22498
I liked this a lot. Something I first have to point out is that the author's note is a little amauter, and i dont think you need it at all. I dont like tht you have one. I also think that I would like to read this better and it would be easier to read double spaced.
One thing i really like however is the things you say that "You" smell like. I especially like: You smell of iron magnets, sold fresh and bloody, with an attraction, that refuses to let me let you go."
This is a really good poem, and I just like the whole idea and everything.
35singer22498I liked this a lot. Something I first have to point out is that the author's note is a little amauter, and i dont think you need it at all. I dont like tht you have one. I also think that I would like to read this better and it would be easier to read double spaced.
One thing i really like however is the things you say that "You" smell like. I especially like: You smell of iron magnets, sold fresh and bloody, with an attraction, that refuses to let me let you go."
This is a really good poem, and I just like the whole idea and everything.