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6/28/2011 c1 Homura Kitsune
I like the ending, and I'm a sucker for the depressing theme.

That said, I think it could do with a little more specificity. For instance, you never say which bones are broken, how they are broken, what broke them. (Well, you allude to rumors and whispers and such.) Try to go all out with your metaphor. You've got a good start; I just think you need to really think out how to get a concrete image of someone broken, sprawled on the floor, twisted at odd angles... you get the idea.

Keep writing!

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