7/12/2011 c1 18Open your eyes Chopstick
I liked it! The feelings was very dark and gave me goosebumps. It went along with the Rupanzel story really well, while also giving it a new twist to make it your own. :)

The only thing that threw me off was the mention of "late California weather." I mean, I could see how its good to have setting in place, and this was obviously not taken in a fairytale location, but idk...it seemed off to mention it. mmm, perhaps write more in the later chapters the description of california instead of actually saying it? Unless in dialogue? Or maybe her passport? (LOL)

Good job though! I'm really excited about this. :)