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for In The Middle

7/18/2011 c2 35singer22498

She is now my favorite character. haha the Adora hitting Georgia with a door and rambling reminds me of our friendship hahaha. And the fact that Georgia yelled Are you TRYING to kill me? hahaha.
7/18/2011 c1 singer22498
Hey Maddi!

Love ya story. Love Georgia. Cant wait for da next chapter! I wanna see where the story goes, and i bet you will come up with something great.
7/18/2011 c1 7WoodpeckerWho
I loved the main character in this; she's funny, sarky and very well portrayed by the narration. I also thought that the rest of the her family also had great characterisation and individual quirks, because I hate it when characters don't really seem to differ from each other and have the same style of talking etc.

I also thought that it was a great first chapter; there's a light-hearted edge to it which I think will lead on well to the latter ones, which I presume will be slightly darker in the crime aspect.

Only point which I picked up on to be improved would be to set different character's dialogue in different paragraphs; I noticed it a few times around the middle just before Kenny arrived, which made me slightly unsure of who was speaking.

[Kenny's attention away from Penny's.] - Just needs to be 'from Penny.', I thought. Other than that, I found no other spelling / grammar errors, which is always good. I look forward to reading more! :D
7/18/2011 c1 2OddlyAlice
This is really interesting, I can't wait to see where you take the characters and plotline!

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