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for Life's Road

8/13/2011 c1 15Katalina Tomas
Very real. Hope really is like that. The length was just right for this kind of story. Good luck in the WCC!

8/10/2011 c1 21Sercus Kaynine
I liked the driving metaphor you used. It tied the theme of the piece together nicely, especially since this was such a short story. Also, a thought provoking question at the end.

Good job and good luck in WCC!
8/6/2011 c1 16Dragon made me do it
I like the length of your piece which takes you somewhere in the interesting realm between poetry and story, between description and narration.

I like the idea of somebody towards the end of their life quoting the lessons they have learnt. While you do dabble in this area, I would have preferred if you had gone just a little bit further into transitioning from the abstract into the concrete. Rather than just talking about hypothetical things that could have gone wrong, describing, even if fleetingly, actual life events of the narrator to explain how they came to have this perspective on life.

'What got me in to this mess' - I think this should be into?

'So many twist and turns'- should be 'so many twists and turns'

Well done and good luck in the contest :-)
8/4/2011 c1 7rgarner31
i think my favorite thing about this story is the ending. That question that is left by the narrator for the reader to take from the story and evaluate their own lives in response. LOVE IT :)

Your metaphors and similes are nice too. The way you list certain crashes is good because the narrators listing these crashes as though they happen to everyone, but in reality its quite obvious that theyve recently happened to him. I like this piece a lot :)

Good luck in the contest!
8/3/2011 c1 too.much.of.water
I love the life-road metaphor you have created, I imagine it rings deep in just about everyone. The personification of Hope, as a driver is excellent because I guess what drives you to move through life but hope?

This prompt was wonderful and produced so many incredibly well thought out, philosophical pieces, yours of course being one of them. Great job, this is so well written and beautiful :)

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