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for From Where All Gods Spring

10/20/2011 c1 7The Red Raven
Cool,your rhymes were perfect and they kept in good rhythm.
8/30/2011 c1 7YourCritic
So, loving the rhyming. :)

Not loving the syllables though - there are too many! It's a little bit too random to be more than thoughts that you've decided should rhyme to make it like a poem. Unless you were going for the whole disjointed syllables thing as an allegory for the world? ;)

Basically, you really get into the flow when your lines are about 8 syllables long - lines 6-9 are pretty awesome when you read them out loud, because it's so rhythmic. Do you see what I mean?

Anyway, nice thoughts. Your last line was fun. Pure relativism - idealistic, but fun.

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