for Immigrant Song: the Ballad of Jake Connelly8/22/2011 c1 
3Rosemarysgraden001
Well that was sad, I didnt want that guy to die lol. Im a pacifist...and his poor sister. i cant imagine killing someone after casually talking to them. The first bit was confusing, but then again im not much for politics.This story reminds me of bloody sunday by U2.
I like the details and the pace of it :). I dont really see grammar errors. Im interested to see where it goes. The name Jake Connelly is really cute, so are irish accents (Think jonathan rhys meyers).
~Rose~
3Rosemarysgraden001Well that was sad, I didnt want that guy to die lol. Im a pacifist...and his poor sister. i cant imagine killing someone after casually talking to them. The first bit was confusing, but then again im not much for politics.This story reminds me of bloody sunday by U2.
I like the details and the pace of it :). I dont really see grammar errors. Im interested to see where it goes. The name Jake Connelly is really cute, so are irish accents (Think jonathan rhys meyers).
~Rose~
8/11/2011 c1 Phoebe Powers
Okay, so I'm going to be completely honest here and please don't think I'm being mean or anything, because I want this to be a great story.
I did not like the first few paragraphs. Even with a story that is historical, it is not exactly nice to basically preach to the readers. We don't need you to teach us a history lesson at the beginning.
Once you started in with Jake and moved on from there I really enjoyed the story. I want to know more about Jake and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Okay, so I'm going to be completely honest here and please don't think I'm being mean or anything, because I want this to be a great story.
I did not like the first few paragraphs. Even with a story that is historical, it is not exactly nice to basically preach to the readers. We don't need you to teach us a history lesson at the beginning.
Once you started in with Jake and moved on from there I really enjoyed the story. I want to know more about Jake and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.