for Swings and Cigarettes8/11/2011 c1 
8Shooyi
I think you are pretty good start. The characters clearly come out without too much description and you set the conflict up well at the end. It was just enough to intice the reader to want to find out what was going on between the two. I hope that you continue, I think it could turn out to be something really good.
8ShooyiI think you are pretty good start. The characters clearly come out without too much description and you set the conflict up well at the end. It was just enough to intice the reader to want to find out what was going on between the two. I hope that you continue, I think it could turn out to be something really good.
8/11/2011 c1 151ForeverBehindTheImpression
Ooh. You reposted it :)
Okay, so there's a mistake here: "not phased by my act of violence." It should be fazed, rather than phased.
Other than that, I really enjoyed this :) Though, near to the end I had a heavy sense of nostalgia in my chest. I used to be strong and cynical like this, but sometimes people can break your wards down. I like how this still kept with the tone as in the beginning. Keep writing :)
151ForeverBehindTheImpressionOoh. You reposted it :)
Okay, so there's a mistake here: "not phased by my act of violence." It should be fazed, rather than phased.
Other than that, I really enjoyed this :) Though, near to the end I had a heavy sense of nostalgia in my chest. I used to be strong and cynical like this, but sometimes people can break your wards down. I like how this still kept with the tone as in the beginning. Keep writing :)