
12/16/2012 c19
1Nalledia
Woop woop! You better keep this up…;p Haha, Astrid in denial of being jealous is CLASSIC! Hahaha, and the awkward, almost-kiss moment with Lucas was just so… I was literally cheering them on, and when they didn't, I was thinking awwX3 Haha, an interesting double date, I must say. I really want more of Astrid and Lucas together! It's so cute!
I think there's a line out of Loreena McKennitt's The English Ladye and the Knight which suits them: 'For love will still be lord of all', as they seem to be in love despite all of what happens around them:)

Woop woop! You better keep this up…;p Haha, Astrid in denial of being jealous is CLASSIC! Hahaha, and the awkward, almost-kiss moment with Lucas was just so… I was literally cheering them on, and when they didn't, I was thinking awwX3 Haha, an interesting double date, I must say. I really want more of Astrid and Lucas together! It's so cute!
I think there's a line out of Loreena McKennitt's The English Ladye and the Knight which suits them: 'For love will still be lord of all', as they seem to be in love despite all of what happens around them:)
12/15/2012 c19 fantasygurl1330
Ermergerdddddddd! An uberdate! Freaking fantastic story and chapter. Aha I laughed about the ringtone. Silly. Anywoooo. Great chapter. Update soon. :)x
Ermergerdddddddd! An uberdate! Freaking fantastic story and chapter. Aha I laughed about the ringtone. Silly. Anywoooo. Great chapter. Update soon. :)x
12/15/2012 c18
4whatthegreencarrot
["Problem solved, no thanks to you, dufus." I muttered to Bryce.] I think it's doofus, not dufus. Just saying. And you ended the dialogue with a period when it should've been a comma.
["Don't pretend you know anything about me." She replied, before turning around and disappearing almost immediately.] Again, comma instea of a period at the end of dialogue. If you're going to tack on a "she said" or something like that at the end, there's going to be a comma ending the dialogue, not a period.
["Hello to you to," He smiled] Should be "too," not "to." And, coincidentally enough, you didn't need a comma to end the dialogue this time. When you say "he smiled," you won't need the comma. Just when it's like "he said," or anything that translates to "said," "asked," etc.
[ I frowned disbelievingly, did he not see where I was coming from?] The comma separating the "I frowned disbelievingly" and "did he not see where I was coming from" isn't quite enough. It should be either a period or a semicolon, or it's a run-on sentence. When you write a sentence, then add a comma and a question after it, that's a run-on.
["THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTENING, VERY VERY FRIGHTENING!"] You, uh, spelled lightning wrong. There's no "E" in lightning.
["Astrid? Where the hell are you? I've been looking for you for like ten minutes," It was Lucas.] Aaaand this time, it's a period, not a comma. When you end the dialogue and immediately start a new, whole sentence, there's no comma. Just a period.
["That's never bothered you before," He sound huffy.] Same thing as the paragraph before, and you wrote "sound" instead of "sounded."
Okay, um, sorry for not reviewing sooner; it's been, like, ages since I've read this story. It's still good, so keep updating :D And sorry for the constructive criticism overload; no doubt you'll be groaning from boredom by the time you reach this part of the review.
Cheers—
-whatthegreencarrot

["Problem solved, no thanks to you, dufus." I muttered to Bryce.] I think it's doofus, not dufus. Just saying. And you ended the dialogue with a period when it should've been a comma.
["Don't pretend you know anything about me." She replied, before turning around and disappearing almost immediately.] Again, comma instea of a period at the end of dialogue. If you're going to tack on a "she said" or something like that at the end, there's going to be a comma ending the dialogue, not a period.
["Hello to you to," He smiled] Should be "too," not "to." And, coincidentally enough, you didn't need a comma to end the dialogue this time. When you say "he smiled," you won't need the comma. Just when it's like "he said," or anything that translates to "said," "asked," etc.
[ I frowned disbelievingly, did he not see where I was coming from?] The comma separating the "I frowned disbelievingly" and "did he not see where I was coming from" isn't quite enough. It should be either a period or a semicolon, or it's a run-on sentence. When you write a sentence, then add a comma and a question after it, that's a run-on.
["THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTENING, VERY VERY FRIGHTENING!"] You, uh, spelled lightning wrong. There's no "E" in lightning.
["Astrid? Where the hell are you? I've been looking for you for like ten minutes," It was Lucas.] Aaaand this time, it's a period, not a comma. When you end the dialogue and immediately start a new, whole sentence, there's no comma. Just a period.
["That's never bothered you before," He sound huffy.] Same thing as the paragraph before, and you wrote "sound" instead of "sounded."
Okay, um, sorry for not reviewing sooner; it's been, like, ages since I've read this story. It's still good, so keep updating :D And sorry for the constructive criticism overload; no doubt you'll be groaning from boredom by the time you reach this part of the review.
Cheers—
-whatthegreencarrot
12/15/2012 c19
1Let The Wings Soar
KYAH! Yes! So cute! It's funny, because Astrid is totally NOT the love type of girl, so when love and her snarky comments collide and mingle it becomes quite funny.

KYAH! Yes! So cute! It's funny, because Astrid is totally NOT the love type of girl, so when love and her snarky comments collide and mingle it becomes quite funny.
12/15/2012 c19 Chester
Horrible reference to All Time Low's "Timebomb". If you're going to use them at least credit it. Not your best work.
Horrible reference to All Time Low's "Timebomb". If you're going to use them at least credit it. Not your best work.
12/15/2012 c19 RubyRed22
Awwwwwww... I did say I wanted more Lucas/Astrid action, but that's what everyone wants... I actually do like how you're pacing the story! (Reference to last chapter's comment) Keep it up! There's nothing worse than a rushed story. :/ Other than bad grammar. ;)
Awwwwwww... I did say I wanted more Lucas/Astrid action, but that's what everyone wants... I actually do like how you're pacing the story! (Reference to last chapter's comment) Keep it up! There's nothing worse than a rushed story. :/ Other than bad grammar. ;)
12/15/2012 c19 Apeirophobic Angel
really good chapter
they're so cute and they're making progress yay
I'm glad you got it up so quickly, keep up the good work (:
really good chapter
they're so cute and they're making progress yay
I'm glad you got it up so quickly, keep up the good work (:
12/15/2012 c19
19bookppl93
I hate mason and that other chick.. Ugh! MOMENTS RUINED. Anyways I like this chapter :) keep it up

I hate mason and that other chick.. Ugh! MOMENTS RUINED. Anyways I like this chapter :) keep it up
12/13/2012 c18
4ToBreakMyFall
ur awesome times a bagilion :) this is reeeeaaalllly great and i love the character :D we seriously need more ppl like her in this world :p

ur awesome times a bagilion :) this is reeeeaaalllly great and i love the character :D we seriously need more ppl like her in this world :p
12/11/2012 c18
1Let The Wings Soar
Lovely chapter. Actually, it was really funny and cute. I like that Astrid's starting to fall for Lucas..

Lovely chapter. Actually, it was really funny and cute. I like that Astrid's starting to fall for Lucas..