3/14/2012 c1 Indicates
[I stepped up to the building and froze at the sight before me. It was just a guy. I could tell that he was new and that he would never want to talk to me, which didn't bother me]

So she knows everybody in the whole school? This is a bit of a stretch, and it stands out more than her also knowing the guy wouldn't awnt to talk to her.

[He had narrow green eyes that made me think that the gods just dropped a couple emeralds in to keep them safe.]

Flowery prose. Gems/orbs/ are seriously overdone and cliche. Try to use another image, or just describe his eyes as green.

[ I really didn't think I was his type, but he seemed very interested in me. I didn't know why. I was just wearing my usual long flowing skirt, olive green, and a short sleeve peasant top, black.]

While the descriptions aren't just dumped out in a paragraph outside of the narrative, this is still an awkward way of describing her appearance. Its also kinda stupid that the character thinks this way, that she says 'oh what could it possibly be that he finds in me? Is it my overlong descriptions of clothing?' See, that doesn't really flow very well.

[ I wasn't anything special.]

Try to come up with more character quirks rather than her just being Normal with a capital N.

[He let his hand fall to his side, "You aren't very social, are you?"]

Well, she did introduce herself and answer his question. I don't see how those two things made him think that way.

[He nodded and looked me over again, "That surprises me. You are just too beautiful to not be noticed."]

Not very sutble, are we, Izzy?

["My parents are well off. I'm a spoiled rich kid," he smiled again, his eyes bright and mesmerizing, "I usually get what I want."]

I dunno, the last comment really sounded suggestive.

["You're spoiled, but you dress all dark and depressed. They don't give you the attention and love you deserve."]

Of course. I wonder if anything different and original will come from this because this thing about teenagers has also been done to death. As is the below comment:

[I pulled away from him and sighed, "I'm really not the type of girl that you want to be around. I'm a freak," I pulled the door open, "It was nice to feel like a person, though," ]

This statement doesn't make sense because she really liks to mention how normal she is and how she has nothing of value or significance, yet she's still special in her own way and gets the attention of this creepy guy. Its a little tiresome to read, especially if the characters don't do anything interseting with the sterotypes. Try to work with them, unless this was the intention. Good luck with your writing!

2/15/2012 c23 Kavyle
**Poor Brie already has to deal with Mars, and I can't imagine that Cam's mom would want to take Izzy in, since he's a guy and all...

2/15/2012 c22 Kavyle
Mmm, sorry, but this bugs me:

He shook his head, "You're expression," he took a deep breath, "You thought I was being serious!"

**Your expression

Although, I think that's the first time you've done that, so I'll assume it's a typo. lol

2/15/2012 c20 Kavyle
Clever naming, there...

2/9/2012 c1 11Naomi Chick
I really like the way the story started. It give a different perceptive with the characters introduced. Great job.

2/8/2012 c81 2aspiringauthor95
Ooh. Interesting that he showed up! Hope they can catch him before he upsets brennin! Update please!

1/21/2012 c72 2aspiringauthor95
SAY WHAT! Ooh that's a good twist...who knew he actually liked her? Great chapter. Great read. Hope to read more:D