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7/1/2012 c1 12CalliScribbles
*Has nothing constructive to say besides wow.*
1/5/2012 c1 1IceDragon19
I've read a lot of things, but almost none of them were as truly captivating as this, with as much writing comprehension. You should be a published author, and you should be famous.

The ending left me frustrated. The ending made me mad. The ending left me desperately wanting to know what happened. The ending was perfect.

10/8/2011 c1 3Miss-You-Too
This is really good and detailed. Was she playing poker? Because thats what it reminded me of.
10/5/2011 c1 1Miryo
You have an odd writing style - one that I really enjoy. You did a nice job of mixing and balancing description with inner monologuing/introspection here, which I myself often find difficult (impossible, rather) to pull off.

I did spot a small typo:

- This was my life; I wasn't going to be rushed into loosing it.

loosing - losing

Overall, this left me with more questions than answers, but I think that's what you intended, so great job! This is a really nice piece.
10/4/2011 c1 1ShadowCatty
I like this alot. The way I see it, it could be in the here and now, or you could be sitting in an old saloon in the wild west, either way i love it.
9/14/2011 c1 97rust phoenix
Definitely an interesting story, and well-written. I was a bit confused, but I get the feeling it wasn't all meant to be totally clear, and I still got a good sense of the characters. Very cool idea.
8/28/2011 c1 kuronekoevan
The concept is interesting, but the story has a static feeling to it, like it is moving nowhere. Maybe it is microfiction, like a look through a microscope, which does not give much view overall. Your sentences and choices of word are good, however, although blurry questions lurk between the lines, like, what kind of game it was when she's a child, who's she, how did she get into that situation? Yes, that is a feature often found in one shots, so for a 500-word long story, it is to be expected. A decent light read though, and leaves questions in the mind.

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