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10/18/2011 c1 31Who Is This Girl Anyway
I think you did a good job by making this so minimalistic- it says a lot with a little.

You did a good job of portraying both sides as human, as opposed to demonising one side- really, they're both just unlucky pawns. It's left up to the reader to decide who was hurt more by the bullet. I also like the fact that the two have a similar voice, as it suggests they really aren't different at all.
10/9/2011 c1 9Air Rey
Subject: The ambiguity of your subject makes this poem beautiful. You speak so little about details and it gives your readers the leeway to interpret the poem.

Word Choice: I love the simplicity of your words and how they evoke such power and emotion. The words just jump out and deliver piercing emotions. I especially love the word "shot" as it is cleverly placed at the end of each stanza.

Images: I feel that this poem is stripped down to one simple detail, that one shot. That image alone makes your poem wonderfully beautiful. All the feelings just shout out with that image.

Enjoyment: I did not enjoy the poem for I lived it. What I felt after reading your poem is beyond enjoyment. It literally introduced me to who you are both as a person and as a writer. I love it! :D
9/30/2011 c1 Silver Sparke
I think it's cool how you conveyed both sides of the story in so little words. I also like how it could have multiple interpretations (I thought of it in a romantic way, because I read a lit of romance).

On the other side, I still think if you elaborated it would be even better, but it's good how it is anyway.

Good work.

~Silver Sparke

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