for Running10/3/2011 c2 
54Nausikaa
Very much like how you fed the flashbacks into Caden and Steve's conversation. And especially how you've used running as the central theme to build the story around. *gasp* I know how Caden and Sean can settle their differences. A race!
Hehe.
'he swoops down and smashes his lips against mine.' That sounds really painful! But I think it was a good choice of words. I can't ever imagine these guys exchanging a tender kiss... (Makes me think of Brokeback Mountain. The guys look like they're eating one another whenever the kiss in that.)
Steve's suggestion is a typical teenage boy's solution. (Though if they're at college, I guess early twenties.) Sex will cure your problems! This is going to work out well lol.
54NausikaaVery much like how you fed the flashbacks into Caden and Steve's conversation. And especially how you've used running as the central theme to build the story around. *gasp* I know how Caden and Sean can settle their differences. A race!
Hehe.
'he swoops down and smashes his lips against mine.' That sounds really painful! But I think it was a good choice of words. I can't ever imagine these guys exchanging a tender kiss... (Makes me think of Brokeback Mountain. The guys look like they're eating one another whenever the kiss in that.)
Steve's suggestion is a typical teenage boy's solution. (Though if they're at college, I guess early twenties.) Sex will cure your problems! This is going to work out well lol.
10/2/2011 c1 Nausikaa
Gay love. Excellent. That's what I like to read. :D
It's very astute in places. I like the comment about how girls get confidence in packs. It's true! (And the same with guys, actually. Though they tend to get more rowdy and misbehave as well.)
My favourite scene was the last one where Caden finally told Sean how he felt. Absolutely loved; 'My throat feels clogged up, like my Adam's apple's suffocating me.'
And Sean, you're an ass! Are you really that deep in the closet or (more likely) just a jerk? Poor Caden!
I don't know if you had trouble formatting this because there are parts that are double-spaced and parts that are single-spaced. Not that it matters to the actual story but it might put other readers off. (And I'm sure you've seen by now how difficult it is now to get people to read things on FP! Sometimes I hear the tumbleweed blowing by on this place. lol!)
I shall be eagerly waiting the next installment. :)
Nina.
Gay love. Excellent. That's what I like to read. :D
It's very astute in places. I like the comment about how girls get confidence in packs. It's true! (And the same with guys, actually. Though they tend to get more rowdy and misbehave as well.)
My favourite scene was the last one where Caden finally told Sean how he felt. Absolutely loved; 'My throat feels clogged up, like my Adam's apple's suffocating me.'
And Sean, you're an ass! Are you really that deep in the closet or (more likely) just a jerk? Poor Caden!
I don't know if you had trouble formatting this because there are parts that are double-spaced and parts that are single-spaced. Not that it matters to the actual story but it might put other readers off. (And I'm sure you've seen by now how difficult it is now to get people to read things on FP! Sometimes I hear the tumbleweed blowing by on this place. lol!)
I shall be eagerly waiting the next installment. :)
Nina.
10/1/2011 c1 anonymous
Curious as to what'll happen in the next installment, update soon!
Curious as to what'll happen in the next installment, update soon!