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7/18/2013 c1 2FlowerChildrenOnFire
this was pretty good! It almost felt like I was reading a messed up slice-of-life story, which I really enjoy! thanks for the story
6/5/2013 c1 8written-tragedies
Wow. This is good. Really really good. I never thought that they were siblings, which was great because you have it in you to steer the reader's mind into what you want them/us to imagine.

I think that you can still continue this story, or even finish it, and expand it more. You have the potential, I can see it. But it would bring up some issues, don't you think? For me, even though incest is a great plot twist, it is kind of dark, especially when they're having sex. I'm a young adult myself and I was a little surprised. I'm not sure about the others though.

I'm rooting for you.
5/13/2013 c1 10DappledKarma
That was great. It had a dark twisted beauty to it. The story was engaging, and the characters fascinated me. The sex was great (or should I say disturbing?) too. XD

7/22/2012 c1 4Aizawa Minami
Wow, what I got to say is... that this story is very exhilarating and interesting! I love it! Excuse me for my dark and twisted fantasies on this story. Great job!
3/13/2012 c1 2I'll remember you this way
Um... Wow.

This was quite intense. I'm honestly disturbed by this. I liked the world you created for these two. It would be interesting to know how these characters ended up as they are. I was fascinated by this story and would care to read more.

The last line threw me.

I noticed a few mistakes, if you care.

"What's on your mind?" He asked (he shouldn't be capitalized)

But, the ocean breeze and straight-through breezeway of the café kept its air fresh and warmfor the most part warm, if not cool (warm and for are conjoined.)
1/10/2012 c1 melanincyclops
wow...so...that ending...through me for a loop...had NO IDEA that they were siblings...shocking...though I guess I should've had some idea when you said they looked almost the same...but eh...I was just so engrossed in the story that I paid it no mind, really...xD

VERY GOOD WORK HERE, SIR...once again, your attention to detail and just dialect and the way you described "sex" but not "smut" is simply refreshing. I love it.

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