for Killers7/18/2013 c1 
2FlowerChildrenOnFire
this was pretty good! It almost felt like I was reading a messed up slice-of-life story, which I really enjoy! thanks for the story
2FlowerChildrenOnFirethis was pretty good! It almost felt like I was reading a messed up slice-of-life story, which I really enjoy! thanks for the story
6/5/2013 c1 8written-tragedies
Wow. This is good. Really really good. I never thought that they were siblings, which was great because you have it in you to steer the reader's mind into what you want them/us to imagine.
I think that you can still continue this story, or even finish it, and expand it more. You have the potential, I can see it. But it would bring up some issues, don't you think? For me, even though incest is a great plot twist, it is kind of dark, especially when they're having sex. I'm a young adult myself and I was a little surprised. I'm not sure about the others though.
I'm rooting for you.
8written-tragediesWow. This is good. Really really good. I never thought that they were siblings, which was great because you have it in you to steer the reader's mind into what you want them/us to imagine.
I think that you can still continue this story, or even finish it, and expand it more. You have the potential, I can see it. But it would bring up some issues, don't you think? For me, even though incest is a great plot twist, it is kind of dark, especially when they're having sex. I'm a young adult myself and I was a little surprised. I'm not sure about the others though.
I'm rooting for you.
5/13/2013 c1 10DappledKarma
That was great. It had a dark twisted beauty to it. The story was engaging, and the characters fascinated me. The sex was great (or should I say disturbing?) too. XD
YOUR STORIES ARE AWESOME.
10DappledKarmaThat was great. It had a dark twisted beauty to it. The story was engaging, and the characters fascinated me. The sex was great (or should I say disturbing?) too. XD
YOUR STORIES ARE AWESOME.
7/22/2012 c1 4Aizawa Minami
Wow, what I got to say is... that this story is very exhilarating and interesting! I love it! Excuse me for my dark and twisted fantasies on this story. Great job!
4Aizawa MinamiWow, what I got to say is... that this story is very exhilarating and interesting! I love it! Excuse me for my dark and twisted fantasies on this story. Great job!
3/13/2012 c1 2I'll remember you this way
Um... Wow.
This was quite intense. I'm honestly disturbed by this. I liked the world you created for these two. It would be interesting to know how these characters ended up as they are. I was fascinated by this story and would care to read more.
The last line threw me.
I noticed a few mistakes, if you care.
"What's on your mind?" He asked (he shouldn't be capitalized)
But, the ocean breeze and straight-through breezeway of the café kept its air fresh and warmfor the most part warm, if not cool (warm and for are conjoined.)
2I'll remember you this wayUm... Wow.
This was quite intense. I'm honestly disturbed by this. I liked the world you created for these two. It would be interesting to know how these characters ended up as they are. I was fascinated by this story and would care to read more.
The last line threw me.
I noticed a few mistakes, if you care.
"What's on your mind?" He asked (he shouldn't be capitalized)
But, the ocean breeze and straight-through breezeway of the café kept its air fresh and warmfor the most part warm, if not cool (warm and for are conjoined.)
1/10/2012 c1 melanincyclops
wow...so...that ending...through me for a loop...had NO IDEA that they were siblings...shocking...though I guess I should've had some idea when you said they looked almost the same...but eh...I was just so engrossed in the story that I paid it no mind, really...xD
VERY GOOD WORK HERE, SIR...once again, your attention to detail and just dialect and the way you described "sex" but not "smut" is simply refreshing. I love it.
wow...so...that ending...through me for a loop...had NO IDEA that they were siblings...shocking...though I guess I should've had some idea when you said they looked almost the same...but eh...I was just so engrossed in the story that I paid it no mind, really...xD
VERY GOOD WORK HERE, SIR...once again, your attention to detail and just dialect and the way you described "sex" but not "smut" is simply refreshing. I love it.