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12/12/2011 c8 Earthdude
Great chapter, the plot is really starting to cement itself. Update soon!
12/12/2011 c1 untoldpleasure
I really enjoy this story. Something I've always wondered was how the control vs power thing would work in a magical world. Narutoverse for example control = genjutsu and medics, power = ninjutsu and chakra manipulation techniques. Anyway, assuming Zorian goes more finesse rather than brute, I'm very interested in finding out where that takes him and how he gets there.
12/12/2011 c8 1Bisepadi
Hmmm...defined limitations that REMAIN limitations. Clear cut statistics. Your gallery of characters is amongst the best that I've ever come across. From what I can deduce so far, Zach is more of a Berseker type mage, preferring to power/plow his way through most of his obstacles. His mantra would probably be "More is always better" and, if I'm not wrong, possesses a whole slew of overpower/overwhelm type spells. Zorian's stats, on the other hand, have him pegged as a brains-over-brawn type mage, preferring to manouvre his way around obstacles. That is not to say he's averse to confrontation when need be, but I'm geussing he'd much rather outsmart his opponents than carve a bloody path through them. Metaphorically speaking, if Zach's a rocket launcher, Zorian has the capacity to be a high-powered sniper rifle. Did u check out the story I suggested? And, while I would love it if this story was updated more frequently, for as long as u maintain this level of quality, I guess I'm fine with waiting out ur chapters...(grumbles)...
12/11/2011 c8 ReaderJustA
truly another marvelous gem in the treasure that is this story. Leaves me happy and satisfied yet longing for more, please keep up the great work. As always thanks for writing
12/11/2011 c8 Zealot
Great chapter, hope to see more updates soon!
11/19/2011 c7 BurnNote
Another good chapter.

I think you did a good job on Zach and Zorian. Though that sounds a lot like the title auf a sitcom.

Zach is quite likable and nice counter to Zorian. On that matter, I was pretty impressed with him. "I have noticed I'm behaving strangly" is a wonderfull excuse. It can't be disproven, and it covers pretty much anything.

Are you going to have some sort of travel arc? You know, get hold of a long-range teleportation spell, and go traipsing around the world. It allows for some nice action scences and a deeper exploration of your world. I'd really like to see something like that.

On that matter, how much of the plot is written out yet, and how definite?

Now, some speculation:

Xvim is a major badass. He uses his superior control to cast only perfect, aka inviible, spells, with a few visible thrown in as distraction. He might even be able to cast spelly undectable by magic senses, it depends on how those senses work.

Alternativly, he dosen't actually have that good control, but thinks it would work if you had, so he tries to train someone to that level.

Cheers
11/15/2011 c7 Bisepadi
I could kiss you... A true diamond in the rough, this story is. To tell you the truth, I'd nigh given up hope on ever encountering any truly celebral characters on this site. Ones that would and could actually apply logic to their actions, rather than just thinking with their 'hearts'; or worse, their hormones. Additionally, I can proudly say that you have successfully done what I had previously thought to be unachievable: Breathed new life into what I personally think is the most tired and abused of genres. I salute ur achievement. Let's not forget the organic masterpiece that is ur primary protagonist. Most titular characters on this here site are so obviously a projection of the writer's innermost desires and/or/plus self-fantasies, that it becomes a chore just skimming through their work. Ur pacing is realistic and u seem to have a definite destination in mind. That said, ur only fault, tentative though it might be, and more of a personal pet peeve than anything, is ur update schedule. Granted, the creative process varies from writer to writer, but I feel it a bit...unfair not to give ur readership a sense of time as pertaining ur updates. Mind u, ur updating speed is not the issue here; but a definitive date, a general time frame, or, at the very least, a percentage bar detailing the progress made on the latest upcoming chapter on ur author page surely wouldn't be asking too much of a dedicated and meticulous author such as urself now, would it? P.S: I'm Kenyan, so the appaling lack of broadband or wifi at my immediate location has me doing this review on phone, so please overlook any glaring mistakes. That said, I admire the guts it takes to make the leap from fanfics to original works, so if I never mention it again, I'll say it now; you're doing a stellar job so far, keep up the good work... Oh, and as a token of my gratitude, here's a link to the only other story on this site ever to solicit a second glance from me. Warning: graphic violence and darker than the Devil's coffee, the action scenes in this fic will literary have u frothing at the mouth. Its called Ghost Girl by Meatlips. Paste the link www.fictionpress.com/s/2251511/1/Ghost_Girl
11/14/2011 c7 ReaderJustA
great chapter I like all the unique bits of plot you keep mixing in
11/14/2011 c7 SilentWhisperWolf
ahaha now zorian's got someone with a large repository of combat magic ready to teach him. I wonder who the original time traveller was then, since it seems zach isn't really capable of it.
11/12/2011 c6 funvtfun
If this was a book, I would buy it. No helpful criticism here, just an ego boost. =D
11/11/2011 c6 Laniessa
I loved this! I always enjoy time-shifting stories, and this was no exception. The main character is relatable and likeable, the mysteries are good hooks, and the time-loop was just like a perfect cherry on a cake. Will be looking forward towards the next chapter!
11/9/2011 c6 Something Fishy
Love the story. Wish it was updated every day. Good luck with the rest and looking forward to reading more from you.
11/5/2011 c6 Jinsoku
Le gasp. Zach is back? What witchcraft is this! Can the real Zach please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?

Joking aside, I honestly expected Zach to be eliminated from the story completely and entirely, as I assumed that the soul-magic that brought him back was transferred to the main character when Zach's soul was destroyed. Or something.

It makes me wonder whether or not Zach is the Necromancer's slave though, possessed, or something else. Whatever the answer, I assume that you won't disappoint.

I also wonder whether or not Roach (I believe that's the female character's name) died on the sewer run. Looking forward to seeing what occurs! Please hurry though... Not many of my favorite stories are being updated, and not many are as well done as I feel yours are!
11/5/2011 c4 Bisepadi
GAR! Update already!
10/30/2011 c6 1Endless Curiosity
Exceptionally good. Great things: Interesting story and characters. the -break- used to show skipping forward in time was originally annoying, as it looks untidy. However, once the time loop starts, it fits in very well because you do skip over the repeated sections. Also, glad that Zorian worked out the stuff about Zach quickly, as so did I, and it is a little annoying when the main character is slower than the readers. If you could, I would suggest making it less obvious before Zorian works it out. Chapter 4 is done well, with it being a full 'month', beginning to end.

Criticisms: I would suggest in future chapters making several chapters out of one 'month'. Although those chapters would have to be quite different to previous ones, (perhaps chapters 7-8 could span one month). A few typos occasionally; the ones I can remember: "let's" instead of "let" somewhere (can't remember where, sorry), "I knew I knew" somewhere, although that could just be misreading the sentence. My favourite though: you mention Akoja stepping on fingers instead of on toes :D

Overall, a really good story that I will continue reading.
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