for I See You11/2/2011 c1 
2Potato Carnivore
I'm happy to know I'm not the only one who finds inspiration in people! :D
The girl is observant, kind of like me. In a bustling area, sometimes I sit down and just watch everything. Great writing skills! You got me thinking about stuff I've never thought before. I like how you use thr present tense, it makes me feel as if I'm watching it happen. :)
Great job! :)
Willow~ (returning the favor would mean the world. :])
2Potato CarnivoreI'm happy to know I'm not the only one who finds inspiration in people! :D
The girl is observant, kind of like me. In a bustling area, sometimes I sit down and just watch everything. Great writing skills! You got me thinking about stuff I've never thought before. I like how you use thr present tense, it makes me feel as if I'm watching it happen. :)
Great job! :)
Willow~ (returning the favor would mean the world. :])
10/30/2011 c1 10Harry's Scar
This story takes into account how little people notice in the outside world. My favorite part is where you brought in the girl which tied everything together. She takes notice of what goes on around her, in the world. She is a perfect example of what everyone should do. She looks at people and, not judges them, but evaluates them. She looks people in the eye and really means what she says. Other people would just smile, say something, and walk on, not meaning really what they say and not making eye contact. You have to look people in the eye to make them feel appreciated.
I admit, it could be hard to approach someone you don't know sometimes. But you can bring the courage to do it. It's nice and quick, and 80 percent of the time you can make a new friend. Imagine how many true friends a person could have and trust if people only sat down and talked to each other. Take New York City, for example. Everyone is hurriedly trying to get where they need to go. No one talks. All you hear is the sound of car horns and buses going through tunnels. Compare this to a school cafeteria. You can hear the sound of chatter which no one can stop, because everyone is friends with who they sit with. Imagine if people did this in New York. We could overcome the sound of cars which people hear everyday and add a new sound - chatter. Wouldn't that be something? Just if people sat down and talked to one another, and acknowledged others like this girl. She is in the minority, but she does right. If only we can make her in the majority. Something little such as holding a door open for someone else can start something entirely new. And, more importantly, a simple thank you back, which is very, very, rare these days. It's so sad. Someone needs to do something about it. Do something kind for someone today. If everyone in the world did one kind thing for someone else each day, our world would be a much better place.
Excellent writing skills, you really got my mind working, which is your goal. Thank you for such an awesome piece, and keep it up. You're a much better writer than you might think.
10Harry's ScarThis story takes into account how little people notice in the outside world. My favorite part is where you brought in the girl which tied everything together. She takes notice of what goes on around her, in the world. She is a perfect example of what everyone should do. She looks at people and, not judges them, but evaluates them. She looks people in the eye and really means what she says. Other people would just smile, say something, and walk on, not meaning really what they say and not making eye contact. You have to look people in the eye to make them feel appreciated.
I admit, it could be hard to approach someone you don't know sometimes. But you can bring the courage to do it. It's nice and quick, and 80 percent of the time you can make a new friend. Imagine how many true friends a person could have and trust if people only sat down and talked to each other. Take New York City, for example. Everyone is hurriedly trying to get where they need to go. No one talks. All you hear is the sound of car horns and buses going through tunnels. Compare this to a school cafeteria. You can hear the sound of chatter which no one can stop, because everyone is friends with who they sit with. Imagine if people did this in New York. We could overcome the sound of cars which people hear everyday and add a new sound - chatter. Wouldn't that be something? Just if people sat down and talked to one another, and acknowledged others like this girl. She is in the minority, but she does right. If only we can make her in the majority. Something little such as holding a door open for someone else can start something entirely new. And, more importantly, a simple thank you back, which is very, very, rare these days. It's so sad. Someone needs to do something about it. Do something kind for someone today. If everyone in the world did one kind thing for someone else each day, our world would be a much better place.
Excellent writing skills, you really got my mind working, which is your goal. Thank you for such an awesome piece, and keep it up. You're a much better writer than you might think.
10/30/2011 c1 5Whirlymerle
I come from a place where October is exactly as you describe, and I'm a total people watcher (random people make the best fodder for stories) so I can totally relate. I like the use of present tense in this- it's refreshing.
[It's an old town place in the country] A little bit of constructive criticism- "old town place" sounds a little clunky, I'd suggest rephrasing this.
Nice work!
~Merle (a review return would be lovely :])
5WhirlymerleI come from a place where October is exactly as you describe, and I'm a total people watcher (random people make the best fodder for stories) so I can totally relate. I like the use of present tense in this- it's refreshing.
[It's an old town place in the country] A little bit of constructive criticism- "old town place" sounds a little clunky, I'd suggest rephrasing this.
Nice work!
~Merle (a review return would be lovely :])