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for on becoming a rainbow in someone else's cloud

11/5/2011 c1 172DefineBeauty
I like the format of this piece. How it goes from 3 to 2 then 1 sentence per stanza give this piece more oomph, more meaning. I also like that all the sentences are basically different in length and don't follow a strict pattern. It makes it flow better and it just looks unique.

I love the last line, "Seven shades of gray and white." To me, it makes it seem like the narrator of this piece wants everything to just be simple, easy, yes or no, black or white (or in this case gray!), but in contrast with the rest of the piece, it says that it can't happen, life just isn't that simple. It basically makes the piece for me.

I could however use a little more background, a little more story. Just me. Good piece either way =]

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