for Summer12/3/2011 c1 
8Dark Blue Lover
Beautiful imagery.
"A taste of summer in the air, - And grass gently a-sway." Love those two lines, they express so much.
I'm not sure about the last line though. The "would" ruins the rhythm a little for me (and the rhythm was great before, really fitting). Maybe if you could shorten that line, or even just make it "I'd always return for more." (I know, teachers don't like those forms, but there's no teachers here, period.)
But it's a tiny thing; don't mind me. This is a beautiful poem! Keep writing (:
8Dark Blue LoverBeautiful imagery.
"A taste of summer in the air, - And grass gently a-sway." Love those two lines, they express so much.
I'm not sure about the last line though. The "would" ruins the rhythm a little for me (and the rhythm was great before, really fitting). Maybe if you could shorten that line, or even just make it "I'd always return for more." (I know, teachers don't like those forms, but there's no teachers here, period.)
But it's a tiny thing; don't mind me. This is a beautiful poem! Keep writing (:
11/25/2011 c1 3Ninjachick-o'-awesomeness
How can you say your an amateur writer! your amazing at what you do!
3Ninjachick-o'-awesomenessHow can you say your an amateur writer! your amazing at what you do!
11/16/2011 c1 119SomeRandomScribbles
Lovely poem :) The language is great - I especially like the first two lines - and the rhythmn is brilliant, very cheerful and fitting to the subject.
119SomeRandomScribblesLovely poem :) The language is great - I especially like the first two lines - and the rhythmn is brilliant, very cheerful and fitting to the subject.
11/16/2011 c1 95Stewart MacDonald
Nice. Simple, but simple is often the most powerful way to convey something, despite what so called professional poets or other such self-indulgent egotists would tell you. You made your point, and me, with a similar love for that season, see it well. Though I can't say Summer is my very favorite season, as fall holds a close tie with it.
But anywho, good stuff. This is probably the first thing I've gone out of my way to read on here in a while, in fact, first time I've really spent a long period of time on here, as I've got a pretty gnar combo of writers block and people stealing my work. Keep it up!
-Stewart
95Stewart MacDonaldNice. Simple, but simple is often the most powerful way to convey something, despite what so called professional poets or other such self-indulgent egotists would tell you. You made your point, and me, with a similar love for that season, see it well. Though I can't say Summer is my very favorite season, as fall holds a close tie with it.
But anywho, good stuff. This is probably the first thing I've gone out of my way to read on here in a while, in fact, first time I've really spent a long period of time on here, as I've got a pretty gnar combo of writers block and people stealing my work. Keep it up!
-Stewart