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7/15/2012 c1 76The Autumn Queen
I love the ending of this. It was somehow self-encompassing, capturing the theme, the list and the title in that one word. And I like how you led up to it as well, starting with a general image and going to a general list and at last to something specific.

And working in gender bias again. Feminist?

[There were: lyrics, sonnets and poems, held within,] - goes better as [there were lyrics, sonnets and poems held within.]

[But when I got to the final page, and saw to my surprise,] - I think you could put an extra comma after "saw". It somehow gets muddled up otherwise. A little extra flowy, like it doesn't stay long enough to catch it.

Ohana from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
6/13/2012 c1 12ahorizonforthenewbirds
Very creative! I like it :) The rhymes sound great but I think you can put a period at the end of each rhyming couplet. I enjoyed the theme because it was very original, but I kind of disliked the ending. It was very different from the rest of the poem, and I suppose it sort of jarred me. If you can, I would recommend making it a bit more similar to the whole poem, but leave the last line as it is. It was excellent and the perfect way to end the poem. :)

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