for Free Fall11/25/2011 c1 LizzieLongbourn11
There was a lot of good imagery; it made me feel like I was in the poem with the narrator. I liked it!
There was a lot of good imagery; it made me feel like I was in the poem with the narrator. I liked it!
11/23/2011 c1 
9Sonia VanDyke
*sniffle* so touching. for some reason i found this to be quite a string tugger. it pulled at my heart.. Good Job (: keep up the writin' XD
9Sonia VanDyke*sniffle* so touching. for some reason i found this to be quite a string tugger. it pulled at my heart.. Good Job (: keep up the writin' XD
11/22/2011 c1 29YasuRan
Nice work. The imagery was dizzying, which I guess was what you were aiming for. Especially with the elevator. I can imagine the tumultuous emotions growing out of control as the narrator sinks deeper in to her illusions. From what I'm reading, I'm assuming she is in love with 'him' who in turn longs for 'her'. It's quite tragic so the concept of free-falling works really well here; where there seems no end to the hole she's fallen in to, no support from anywhere whatsoever.
Quite an interesting piece. I look forward to seeing more from you. Happy Writing!
29YasuRanNice work. The imagery was dizzying, which I guess was what you were aiming for. Especially with the elevator. I can imagine the tumultuous emotions growing out of control as the narrator sinks deeper in to her illusions. From what I'm reading, I'm assuming she is in love with 'him' who in turn longs for 'her'. It's quite tragic so the concept of free-falling works really well here; where there seems no end to the hole she's fallen in to, no support from anywhere whatsoever.
Quite an interesting piece. I look forward to seeing more from you. Happy Writing!
11/21/2011 c1 Silver Sparke
Hehe thanks :)
Anyway, I love this because of your descriptions, as always. The extended metaphor was great, but I don't know, it felt...expected? I guess it bothers me because the rest of this is so amazing and then an elevator seems sort of common. Or maybe it's just me.
I love the first 4 lines especially. It was a great way to start.
Thanks for coming back to life! ;)
~Silver Sparke
Hehe thanks :)
Anyway, I love this because of your descriptions, as always. The extended metaphor was great, but I don't know, it felt...expected? I guess it bothers me because the rest of this is so amazing and then an elevator seems sort of common. Or maybe it's just me.
I love the first 4 lines especially. It was a great way to start.
Thanks for coming back to life! ;)
~Silver Sparke