9/9/2012 c40 Mazarine
AWESOME STORY totally loved the ending I would like a sequel too but I think you should just create a different story cause if u rip heather away one more time I will be mad xD great ending :)
AWESOME STORY totally loved the ending I would like a sequel too but I think you should just create a different story cause if u rip heather away one more time I will be mad xD great ending :)
9/7/2012 c40 SuiLon434
I'm sad it's over, but I'm so happy I got to read it and experience all the joys of my new men: Elliott, Michael, and Abe...ah Abe...*.* starry eyed
I'm sad it's over, but I'm so happy I got to read it and experience all the joys of my new men: Elliott, Michael, and Abe...ah Abe...*.* starry eyed
9/6/2012 c33 2Draconian Phoenix
haha, the part about heather never looking up made me laugh. i'm like that too. i usually look down when i'm walking. then i get told that guys are looking at me and i'm like what? there were people there? so clueless.
haha, the part about heather never looking up made me laugh. i'm like that too. i usually look down when i'm walking. then i get told that guys are looking at me and i'm like what? there were people there? so clueless.
9/6/2012 c24 Draconian Phoenix
this part where elliot says "You'll have to name me after one of your kids just to pay me back"
that should be "you'll have to name one of your kids after me just to pay me back"
other than that gasp! what is vanessa doing back?
ps: notice how the crazy ex-gf in both our stories have V-names. do V-names just naturally sound bitchy? there's veronica from archie comics too.
this part where elliot says "You'll have to name me after one of your kids just to pay me back"
that should be "you'll have to name one of your kids after me just to pay me back"
other than that gasp! what is vanessa doing back?
ps: notice how the crazy ex-gf in both our stories have V-names. do V-names just naturally sound bitchy? there's veronica from archie comics too.
8/31/2012 c39 SuiLon434
Lol amazing chapter. Ahhh Michael...you truly are a piece of work. Lol I love your story. Thank you so much for creating it. Hope you decide to do a sequel :)
Lol amazing chapter. Ahhh Michael...you truly are a piece of work. Lol I love your story. Thank you so much for creating it. Hope you decide to do a sequel :)
8/30/2012 c39 Cassandra Elizabeth
This story has been amazing. In the beginning it started off as an innocent little story and now it has grown beyond that. The characters have grown considerably and have had to make decisions that led to good or bad consequences. But in the end they were able to find each other when the time was right and mend the wounds that were inflicted. Great job.
PurpleEmoChick
This story has been amazing. In the beginning it started off as an innocent little story and now it has grown beyond that. The characters have grown considerably and have had to make decisions that led to good or bad consequences. But in the end they were able to find each other when the time was right and mend the wounds that were inflicted. Great job.
PurpleEmoChick
8/26/2012 c11 Draconian Phoenix
I think since the story is in first person you could have written the last bits differently to reflect more of what would be going on in Heather's drunken mind. It would have been more entertaining if the sentences were choppy and more stream-of-consciousness. It would have been pretty hard for her to be so coherent.
I think since the story is in first person you could have written the last bits differently to reflect more of what would be going on in Heather's drunken mind. It would have been more entertaining if the sentences were choppy and more stream-of-consciousness. It would have been pretty hard for her to be so coherent.
8/26/2012 c9 Draconian Phoenix
Just a note about this part
"Not watching my step, I trip on a crack almost losing my dinner and riping my stockings into shreds! My panic breathes slow as I regain balance, congratulating my luck. I didn't want my favorite stockings to end up being strips of cloth."
A few of typos: ripping not riping, panicked not just panic, and breaths (the noun) rather than breathes (the action)
Also, I found myself having to read that sentence a few times because I thought the stockings had already ripped. Maybe that was just me. I would have maybe said "congratulating my luck when neither of those things happened."
And once Emily is back I think that should be "I missed you" in past tense rather than present tense.
Just a note about this part
"Not watching my step, I trip on a crack almost losing my dinner and riping my stockings into shreds! My panic breathes slow as I regain balance, congratulating my luck. I didn't want my favorite stockings to end up being strips of cloth."
A few of typos: ripping not riping, panicked not just panic, and breaths (the noun) rather than breathes (the action)
Also, I found myself having to read that sentence a few times because I thought the stockings had already ripped. Maybe that was just me. I would have maybe said "congratulating my luck when neither of those things happened."
And once Emily is back I think that should be "I missed you" in past tense rather than present tense.
8/26/2012 c5 Draconian Phoenix
haha. i thought when he rushes back it's because he heard her yell his name and there was going to be some kind of embarrassing moment.
also, i don't usually like first person stories but this one's actually okay.
haha. i thought when he rushes back it's because he heard her yell his name and there was going to be some kind of embarrassing moment.
also, i don't usually like first person stories but this one's actually okay.
8/26/2012 c3 Draconian Phoenix
michael...or is it supposed to be spelled micheal...anyways, he's quite pushy isn't he? nice but very pushy. the one thing that i thought was weird is the fact that heather calls his shirt a blouse...
...
oh, just wiki'ed it. i guess that term can be used for a guy's shirt too. it just sounds weird to me. nvm.
michael...or is it supposed to be spelled micheal...anyways, he's quite pushy isn't he? nice but very pushy. the one thing that i thought was weird is the fact that heather calls his shirt a blouse...
...
oh, just wiki'ed it. i guess that term can be used for a guy's shirt too. it just sounds weird to me. nvm.
8/26/2012 c2 Draconian Phoenix
lol. the beginning where heather talks about being a romance novelist made me laugh.
lol. the beginning where heather talks about being a romance novelist made me laugh.
8/26/2012 c1 Draconian Phoenix
decided to take a foray into your story. i would totally love to know when someone comes up with the pill for writer's block!
decided to take a foray into your story. i would totally love to know when someone comes up with the pill for writer's block!
8/24/2012 c38 Guest
An air of Rhett Butler about this guy.
An air of Rhett Butler about this guy.