for Kill Em With Kindness1/13/2012 c7 LizzieLongbourn11
I really liked this chapter! You're right-Mrs. Jenkins is very funny; I hope there's more of her in future chapters. I think you're doing really well at building up the anticipation for what's going to happen at that dinner... It would be hilarious if Micheal showed up and started making references to one of Heather's books! :)
I really liked this chapter! You're right-Mrs. Jenkins is very funny; I hope there's more of her in future chapters. I think you're doing really well at building up the anticipation for what's going to happen at that dinner... It would be hilarious if Micheal showed up and started making references to one of Heather's books! :)
1/8/2012 c3 
15thenifoundfivedollars
Oh, I love a man that can cook! Heh. And I know that you said it’s not all that romantic, but I actually think breakfast-for-dinner, brinner, is a pretty romantic meal. Anything where I can stay in and wear pajamas is a win in my book.
Their banter is amusing, and I’m enjoying their interactions so far. I’m wondering if it’ll be a friendship progression or something else. I guess I’ll just keep reading to see!
The one mistake I did spot was Heather’s line:
"Writing all day makes me loose all sense of time!"
Probably should be ‘lose’.
Really great chapter! I’m looking forward to reading the rest!
15thenifoundfivedollarsOh, I love a man that can cook! Heh. And I know that you said it’s not all that romantic, but I actually think breakfast-for-dinner, brinner, is a pretty romantic meal. Anything where I can stay in and wear pajamas is a win in my book.
Their banter is amusing, and I’m enjoying their interactions so far. I’m wondering if it’ll be a friendship progression or something else. I guess I’ll just keep reading to see!
The one mistake I did spot was Heather’s line:
"Writing all day makes me loose all sense of time!"
Probably should be ‘lose’.
Really great chapter! I’m looking forward to reading the rest!
1/8/2012 c2 thenifoundfivedollars
I know it’s slightly shallow, but I’m looking forward to some more physical descriptions of the neighbor. Lucky for me there are several chapters for me to read all in one sitting! Yay!
I’m impressed by your descriptions in this chapter. I loved the bit about snapping the chip and grinding it in her molars; I can definitely picture someone sitting clueless in front of their computer doing just that. Which is the point – so bravo!
Heather’s shopping outfit sounds cute, and I get way more angry glares when I go to the grocery store in my sweaty work out clothes then my cute, work outfits, so she’s fine. Buuut, I did suspect she’d run into a certain mail on her outing, so I’m glad that didn’t disappoint.
The shopping trip was quite amusing, and I had to grin. Poor Heather can’t recognize chivalry when it hits her on the head. I’m looking forward to someone teaching her how to appreciate being taken care of for a change! :D
I know it’s slightly shallow, but I’m looking forward to some more physical descriptions of the neighbor. Lucky for me there are several chapters for me to read all in one sitting! Yay!
I’m impressed by your descriptions in this chapter. I loved the bit about snapping the chip and grinding it in her molars; I can definitely picture someone sitting clueless in front of their computer doing just that. Which is the point – so bravo!
Heather’s shopping outfit sounds cute, and I get way more angry glares when I go to the grocery store in my sweaty work out clothes then my cute, work outfits, so she’s fine. Buuut, I did suspect she’d run into a certain mail on her outing, so I’m glad that didn’t disappoint.
The shopping trip was quite amusing, and I had to grin. Poor Heather can’t recognize chivalry when it hits her on the head. I’m looking forward to someone teaching her how to appreciate being taken care of for a change! :D
1/8/2012 c6 41chewychester
She is getting weirder by the chapter. I do wonder, how the book shop found one of her books without him knowing her pen name. Did he have a title?
41chewychesterShe is getting weirder by the chapter. I do wonder, how the book shop found one of her books without him knowing her pen name. Did he have a title?
12/28/2011 c4 LizzieLongbourn11
I like how Micheal now has a more human side to him, instead of continuing to be Mr. Always-Excessively-Kind. He is now capable of getting in an argument! (haha) Maybe he's not as perfect as he seems... I hope you show more of that side of him in future chapters.
Also, I'm very interested to see what happens when Heather takes him out to dinner!
I like how Micheal now has a more human side to him, instead of continuing to be Mr. Always-Excessively-Kind. He is now capable of getting in an argument! (haha) Maybe he's not as perfect as he seems... I hope you show more of that side of him in future chapters.
Also, I'm very interested to see what happens when Heather takes him out to dinner!
12/22/2011 c2 LizzieLongbourn11
Mr. Eggman seems a little too unrealistically kind, in my opinion-it's like he could be the hero in one of the stories Heather writes. I like it so far, though, and I hope you update soon!
Mr. Eggman seems a little too unrealistically kind, in my opinion-it's like he could be the hero in one of the stories Heather writes. I like it so far, though, and I hope you update soon!
12/21/2011 c2 Cassandra Elizabeth
This is getting very interesting so far. I cant wait to find out more about Mr. Eggman...
This is getting very interesting so far. I cant wait to find out more about Mr. Eggman...
12/21/2011 c2 chewychester
The neighbor? He is interested, more then just friendly by the way he tries to get on her good side. He does seem sweet though.
The neighbor? He is interested, more then just friendly by the way he tries to get on her good side. He does seem sweet though.
12/19/2011 c1 15thenifoundfivedollars
Ha. Emily reminds me of an old roommate. I love her to death, but she NEVER wore clothes. :D
I really like this so far! It was an incredibly long opening chapter, and Heather is a really relatable, likable character. It’s easy to feel a connection with her when most of us on this site are writers and romantics ourselves.
“Of course having a vibrator does help work out the sexual aspect of the relationship and in this case proves that I have no need for a man. I can just create one in my head.”
Ha! She’ll change her mind after she meets the right guy, I’m sure. :)
Despite the length, only one mistake stood out:
"Did ya get a peek at who's moving in?" her face peek out of curiosity.
The second ‘peek’ should be ‘peeks’, I believe, but you might go ahead and use a synonym since ‘peek’ has already been used in the sentence. Minor, really, and nothing that needs changing.
All in all, a really good story. I’m looking forward to the next installment, and hopefully seeing more of the new neighbor?
15thenifoundfivedollarsHa. Emily reminds me of an old roommate. I love her to death, but she NEVER wore clothes. :D
I really like this so far! It was an incredibly long opening chapter, and Heather is a really relatable, likable character. It’s easy to feel a connection with her when most of us on this site are writers and romantics ourselves.
“Of course having a vibrator does help work out the sexual aspect of the relationship and in this case proves that I have no need for a man. I can just create one in my head.”
Ha! She’ll change her mind after she meets the right guy, I’m sure. :)
Despite the length, only one mistake stood out:
"Did ya get a peek at who's moving in?" her face peek out of curiosity.
The second ‘peek’ should be ‘peeks’, I believe, but you might go ahead and use a synonym since ‘peek’ has already been used in the sentence. Minor, really, and nothing that needs changing.
All in all, a really good story. I’m looking forward to the next installment, and hopefully seeing more of the new neighbor?
12/16/2011 c1 Cassandra Elizabeth
I feel that this is a good beginning to the story. I dont know a lot about Heather but that may be just because it is the first chapter. I have a sense of the kind of person that she is and I cannot wait to read more about her life and the men in it...
I feel that this is a good beginning to the story. I dont know a lot about Heather but that may be just because it is the first chapter. I have a sense of the kind of person that she is and I cannot wait to read more about her life and the men in it...