Just In
for Courting Chaos

12/18/2011 c3 This-is-my-penname-2
This is great. please update soon!
12/16/2011 c2 Festina Lente
Sometimes attraction grows with time


Ha. Fun chapter, cute story. I like the characters and the plot is really creative and well executed. Tyler's a doll and we haven't even met him yet.

I'm sure this will just complicate things since we're still conversing in two separate PMs, but -yes- I do like Mad Men. Also I believe that if you have control over the direction, it's nice to keep going, but it's also about feel and what the characters want. Sometimes you just have to give in!
12/16/2011 c2 Marmalade Summer
Wow. Two chapters and this is might already be a favorite of yours!

Good start.
12/14/2011 c2 6deadkitty1
You updated quick! Wow! Um, let's see. The beginning paragraphs about her going through the company giving coffee, I think the dialogue with her and Jenny should be cut off. You could have given a brief paragraph about her being a receptionist and maybe even something quirky like Jenny liking her coffee black with a hint of cinnamon over it. It's not that I don't like Jenny! I just think of her as a menial character. It's more interesting to hear what Sam thinks about Jenny than Jenny talking.

And such resentment for Aaron Powell already! Woah~! I'm already picturing many awkward moments and silent arguments through the wedding. I thought their talk was a bit short but I'm sure he'll show up more in the later chapters. And Tyler's such an eccentric character. I like him already! :) I also like Gemma. She's very stoic and blunt. And yeah I like her 'cause she's Filipino...hehehe~

When Sam's describing her best friends, I think you can do better than mentioning their looks. They've been together for two years so you can insert something they're known for in the company or a private joke between the group of girls. It'll be more unique and we'll get to know the kind of people Sam hangs around with.

Those are my suggestions/critics. I hope I didn't overload you. You can chose to ignore or do them. Whatever~ It's just my thoughts. So many in my head. XD
12/14/2011 c1 the poison apple
The summary was intriguing. And it seems like a good intro. Don't disappoint!
12/13/2011 c1 Festina Lente
It's hard not to sympathize with the main character... sucks.

Short - but I'm already hooked. Hope you introduce mroe characters in the next update.
12/13/2011 c1 deadkitty1
It's a great start! Part way through reading it, with the sentence "Like I said, I'm avoiding the news. And mom. -" I thought Sam was talking to her mom and not her sister, Nora. So I had to backtrack since I got confused. I don't know if you'd want to make that into one sentence or not so it would make sense. Up to you.

Poor Sam. It's going to be some wedding with such a scandal like that hanging over her head. I'm sure it's regressing to see her sister marry her ex. It's going to be an interesting story from here on.
217 « Prev Page 1 .. 5 12 13 14 15

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service