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for Obsession

7/19/2012 c1 63RedactedNoLongerWriting
I'm surprised this doesn't have any reviews. I guess it's a bit more sedate than the other shorts I've read, but it still has the forward motion I expect (with perhaps a little more meandering but it works for the story). I like the slight sense of uncertainty and unease Elaine has as she tries to feel things out. It doesn't wrap up neatly but neither does Elaine's arc. She's still figuring things out and so are the others. I'm curious what you'd do with this story. I see what you mean about it not being quite complete, and you could go so many different ways with it. It's a very solid foundation.

This story in particular I liked your writing, the phrasing specifically. It's not often I notice the word choice because, as you may have guessed from my previous reviews, I focus on the story rather than the telling. But I just wanted to mention how beautiful I thought the opening of this was. It's simple but elegant, introducing the setting and characters and mood of the piece all in one. The opening line especially was great.

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