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for Heart of Lunis

1/22/2012 c1 1AeQQu
I like the premise of this. The whole God's unwilling servant thing is a great hook. I'd advise going back over this chapter and refining the grammar. It's all a bit jumbled at times and some things could use some more explaining. Good start though, keep it up :)
1/21/2012 c1 10scribhneoir literatka
Hmmm...this story does show lots of promise. Usually I'm not excited about what's going to happen next just from one chapter, but I'm hooked. It's a creative idea, and not one I've seen recently. I suggest looking over your grammar/sentence structure, but other than that, it's great! I can't wait for the next update.

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