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2/6/2012 c1 21Alienboy411676
This was a very nice read. I don't often find something I'm able to read all the way through, but you did such a good job with this. It kept me interested, and the whole idea behind it is very creative. Thanks for sharing :)
1/29/2012 c1 3zazonion
This was one of the best things I've read on the site. Unlike the other two who've posted I didn't get confused at all when it was all computer coding.
1/28/2012 c1 3For the sake of irony
Holy cow, this...

This is one of the best stories I've read on this site.

The idea is original and amazing, and you executed it almost perfectly. The two AI's interactions are absolutely appealing, I found myself cheering along as they found sentience. I didn't even realize how well the emotion in this story was conveyed until Shield's 'death', I literally started tearing up. It suddenly hit me, it was quite the impact. ...That's a good thing, by the way.

The only two things I can complain about- the very beginning is confusing, I found it hard to follow along. It makes sense, though, given the nature of the story and the two characters. But it might deter some readers, just a warning.

The second thing is a bit more serious in my opinion, but I think the bits in virtual reality and real world would be better if it was written in present tense instead of past. I think it's because the part before it was all was present tense- it's what the AI's are using during their chat ("Shield: It is very complex, but nothing we cannot handle.", for instance). Sorry, but when I got to the virtual reality part, I was surprised at the change in tenses, and it was bugging me all throughout it. It was hard to pay attention to the story.

Aside from that, though, this story is absolutely amazing. Keep up the good work.
1/28/2012 c1 Retsof
Well, this got off to a bit of a rocky start, since the "computer code language" didn't seem, uhm... computer-ey enough. But as it went on it the story got better. You managed to get a pretty good reader punch in when they started disassembling Shield, and with Sword's response. (hard to feel sorry for the AIs after he ended the world though) I want to see an alternate version of this now though, where the engineer decides maybe it not such a good idea to try to kill something mankind has been dreaming of for ages. (or maybe he's just a bit more personable, eh?). Of course, that would set up the plot for the continuing story as the three fight to not wind up dead. Well, that's all I have for now, until next time...

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