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6/2/2013 c1 worbs51
I am jealous.
6/22/2012 c1 3TheClosetWriter16
Awesome ;)

You always review my story so i thought I would read some of your stories. I take a bus and well... Never seen anyone as amazing as this :P
5/5/2012 c1 19bookppl93
Cute
2/17/2012 c1 9Lythya
Not the most amazing thing I've ever read, but I can see the truth behind it: your fingers dancing over the keyboard in order to get these feelings out. There really are some interesting people on the bus ;)

You repeat yourself a bit too much with eyes and hair. You say from the every beginning that he has blond hair and dark eyes but then again later. Save it for later, then, as the details comes then, or just bear in mind that you've already mentioned it. Like:

He had blond hair and dark brown/black eyes.

(then moving directly on to the hair)

Dirty blonde that could possibly be mistaking for platinum blonde.

You do have an interesting style that flows pretty well. Keep it up. Practice makes perfect, though maybe never quite as perfect as you describe him ;)

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