for Hero Realm3/17/2016 c13 
7IcanzIIravor
Hi,
I have enjoyed this story. Very fun read. I think Brandon Sanderson must have read your story judging by his Reckoners series. I hope you post more someday.
7IcanzIIravorHi,
I have enjoyed this story. Very fun read. I think Brandon Sanderson must have read your story judging by his Reckoners series. I hope you post more someday.
8/2/2012 c13 Guest
Okay, it's, from what I know, original. Outside of three major characters being kids, that one seems to be a thing for stuff I read at the moment. Truth be told, there isn't anything to look at otherwise, you've left too much in the dark. We know next to nothing about Titan, the Protector, the Beast, Kitsune or this new lady and the people after her. It reads like it should be several stories rather than one big one.
Seems darker than most of your other stuff though, an entire culture of hatred, a giant Beast of daarkness literally under their feet from the get go, large number of robots and a police force that destroys jetpacks. Dark days.
Favourite aspect of the story: Adam's discovery of his powers and subsequent battle. The nod to Spiderman was very amusing. Made the story feel like a really good comic book for a moment. Obviously without pictures, but you get the idea. Also left me with answers and new questions, which is the kinda thing I would be hoping for.
Least favourite aspect: Basically the sheer amount of background we don't have, currently I couldn't tell you much about anything. At least knowing why the Protecter is known as the Protector would be nice. Seems like the 'Heros' did all the work anyway...
What I hope for soon: A guest appearance by the Protector.
What I expect: To revisit that poor lady that got knocked unconcious a while back. Oh, and to see Thomas again.
Okay, it's, from what I know, original. Outside of three major characters being kids, that one seems to be a thing for stuff I read at the moment. Truth be told, there isn't anything to look at otherwise, you've left too much in the dark. We know next to nothing about Titan, the Protector, the Beast, Kitsune or this new lady and the people after her. It reads like it should be several stories rather than one big one.
Seems darker than most of your other stuff though, an entire culture of hatred, a giant Beast of daarkness literally under their feet from the get go, large number of robots and a police force that destroys jetpacks. Dark days.
Favourite aspect of the story: Adam's discovery of his powers and subsequent battle. The nod to Spiderman was very amusing. Made the story feel like a really good comic book for a moment. Obviously without pictures, but you get the idea. Also left me with answers and new questions, which is the kinda thing I would be hoping for.
Least favourite aspect: Basically the sheer amount of background we don't have, currently I couldn't tell you much about anything. At least knowing why the Protecter is known as the Protector would be nice. Seems like the 'Heros' did all the work anyway...
What I hope for soon: A guest appearance by the Protector.
What I expect: To revisit that poor lady that got knocked unconcious a while back. Oh, and to see Thomas again.
4/29/2012 c1 1Nori-san
Hello there aspiring writer!
I happened to chance upon your story and I must say that I am really, really impressed with your first chapter. Everything is neatly detailed that I can actually place myself in Adam's shoe! Your grammars are fine and the way your characters interact are really good. I would love to read your following chapters but alas, I have so little time right now.
I will definitely follow up on your story and give you another review soon.
Until then, keep up the good work !
1Nori-sanHello there aspiring writer!
I happened to chance upon your story and I must say that I am really, really impressed with your first chapter. Everything is neatly detailed that I can actually place myself in Adam's shoe! Your grammars are fine and the way your characters interact are really good. I would love to read your following chapters but alas, I have so little time right now.
I will definitely follow up on your story and give you another review soon.
Until then, keep up the good work !
3/21/2012 c1 1Gretel Snaps
You are an amazing writer! Right now I'm wondering if Adam is going to be a superhero or something like Spiderman (Instead of a spider, a red ant!).
1Gretel SnapsYou are an amazing writer! Right now I'm wondering if Adam is going to be a superhero or something like Spiderman (Instead of a spider, a red ant!).
3/21/2012 c1 Logan Eli
Crazyeight,
All I can say is wow. I couldnt stop reading. There isnt much wrong with this story that I could see, but that may have been because I was so entertained by it.
The characters are very memorable and I already have a favorite whom I can't wait to hear more about in the coming chapters. Although there was one typo that I noticed. It was in this sentence:
"Screw you!" the youth laughed, taking a sharp laugh between buildings.
I think that you may have meant "sharp turn" instead of "sharp laugh". Other than that, I found nothing wrong with this beautifully written story. I know it's very hard to become successful in the world of writing, but you definitely have potential for success. Keep up the good work and I would really appreciate it if you could maybe review my story as well. You dont have to if you dont want to, but it would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Dezmond
Crazyeight,
All I can say is wow. I couldnt stop reading. There isnt much wrong with this story that I could see, but that may have been because I was so entertained by it.
The characters are very memorable and I already have a favorite whom I can't wait to hear more about in the coming chapters. Although there was one typo that I noticed. It was in this sentence:
"Screw you!" the youth laughed, taking a sharp laugh between buildings.
I think that you may have meant "sharp turn" instead of "sharp laugh". Other than that, I found nothing wrong with this beautifully written story. I know it's very hard to become successful in the world of writing, but you definitely have potential for success. Keep up the good work and I would really appreciate it if you could maybe review my story as well. You dont have to if you dont want to, but it would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Dezmond