for Asu E5/9/2012 c8 
2KyuubiCalvary
It was a pretty good chapter.
If I may offer a small suggestion (and I see this QUITE often as of late), try not to put in extreme references to games or anime quite as much without explaining them. xD
A "sweatdrop" is the thing I'm referring to in this chapter. Unless all of your readers are avid anime fans, they won't understand fully what it means. It's a small thing, but I felt like it needed to be said.
Other things I've seen in other stories are meme references, "face palms" etc. It bothers me. _ Not everyone knows them.
Anyway, keep writing and updating! I look forward to your next chapter.
2KyuubiCalvaryIt was a pretty good chapter.
If I may offer a small suggestion (and I see this QUITE often as of late), try not to put in extreme references to games or anime quite as much without explaining them. xD
A "sweatdrop" is the thing I'm referring to in this chapter. Unless all of your readers are avid anime fans, they won't understand fully what it means. It's a small thing, but I felt like it needed to be said.
Other things I've seen in other stories are meme references, "face palms" etc. It bothers me. _ Not everyone knows them.
Anyway, keep writing and updating! I look forward to your next chapter.
4/23/2012 c7 KyuubiCalvary
Well, this was quite an interesting chapter. I hope that Kirisaki learns to actually use his power. Doing everything by instinct turns badly after a while. xD
Keep writing and updating. :)
Well, this was quite an interesting chapter. I hope that Kirisaki learns to actually use his power. Doing everything by instinct turns badly after a while. xD
Keep writing and updating. :)
4/13/2012 c6 KyuubiCalvary
That was a bit of an unfair test. _ But I see where you're coming from.
Great fight scene. I was a bit surprised at the end with Jake and Violet. Looking forward to the next chapter!
That was a bit of an unfair test. _ But I see where you're coming from.
Great fight scene. I was a bit surprised at the end with Jake and Violet. Looking forward to the next chapter!
3/26/2012 c4 KyuubiCalvary
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
Another cliffhangar! You're getting better at leaving your readers hanging. :)
Anyway, I like how you described everyone's powers. Please keep writing and posting your story on here.
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
Another cliffhangar! You're getting better at leaving your readers hanging. :)
Anyway, I like how you described everyone's powers. Please keep writing and posting your story on here.
3/26/2012 c3 KyuubiCalvary
Sorry I didn't review earlier. I don't particularly like to read one chapter at a time. It gives me a sense of emptiness. (Especially when a chapter ends in a cliffhangar like this)
This was quite a good chapter. Explaining this newfound power in more detail would be appreciated. (Unless you already did it in chapter 4. I haven't read it yet.)
I'll go on to your next chapter now! :)
Sorry I didn't review earlier. I don't particularly like to read one chapter at a time. It gives me a sense of emptiness. (Especially when a chapter ends in a cliffhangar like this)
This was quite a good chapter. Explaining this newfound power in more detail would be appreciated. (Unless you already did it in chapter 4. I haven't read it yet.)
I'll go on to your next chapter now! :)
3/15/2012 c2 2KyuubiCalvary
Quite an interesting second chapter. It was very well written. I look forward to seeing what happens next.
2KyuubiCalvaryQuite an interesting second chapter. It was very well written. I look forward to seeing what happens next.
3/14/2012 c1 1the storyt3ll3r
ok is nothing like your other story because you could take that a long way too like my eyes were glued to the screen in deastniy you should start the next destniy with natalie boom boom boom triple head shot(favorite character)over the com and yall are in a tournment i loved destniy i didnt really like this
1the storyt3ll3rok is nothing like your other story because you could take that a long way too like my eyes were glued to the screen in deastniy you should start the next destniy with natalie boom boom boom triple head shot(favorite character)over the com and yall are in a tournment i loved destniy i didnt really like this
3/14/2012 c1 2KyuubiCalvary
Great introduction to a new story. :)
The only thing I would change is how you put sound effects, locations, and that bolded dialogue in the end.
Having all three of those things bolded the same way could confuse the reader later on in the story. Maybe you could italicize or underline to make them different.
2KyuubiCalvaryGreat introduction to a new story. :)
The only thing I would change is how you put sound effects, locations, and that bolded dialogue in the end.
Having all three of those things bolded the same way could confuse the reader later on in the story. Maybe you could italicize or underline to make them different.