for Moment of Awakening1/17/2013 c4 Jose
well done i also like this one good good work
thanks again
well done i also like this one good good work
thanks again
3/24/2012 c4 
9Mysterious MD
Well that was more humorous of a chapter than the others, but it was a good one. It was funny when he saw Natary give the girl who gave him food what I assume was money, and then it was funny when he created the figure out of the swords. There were some spelling and grammar errors.
You had "armour", but I'm not sure if it should "armor" instead.
You had; "a lot of the Were-fold were turning to watch what was causing the commotion" where I think "a" should be capitalized.
You had; ""Back!" he screeched, waving his jewelled sword..." where I think "jewelled" should be "jeweled".
You had; "The hot air smouldered around his fingers..." where I think "smouldered" should be "smoldered".
You had; "The only thing that served to set the man apart, was a short cape clipped around his neck, that draped over one shoulder." where I don't think you need the commas.
You had; "I was bound by my honour" where I think "honour" should be "honor".
You had; "The King turned to her, and his face was suddenly sombre and serious." where I think "sombre" should be "somber".
You had; "It's a living thing, and therefor is worthy..." where I think "therefor" should be "therefore".
You had; "Sombrely, the patriarch nodded once to Matt..." where I think "Sombrely" should be "Somberly".
You had; "Before them were the row upon row of buried swords" where I think you should have "rows".
You had; "Katherine marvelled at it as she placed her hand against his" where I think "marvelled" should be "marveled".
Overall it was a good short story that I enjoyed reading. I look forward to seeing what else you may write.
9Mysterious MDWell that was more humorous of a chapter than the others, but it was a good one. It was funny when he saw Natary give the girl who gave him food what I assume was money, and then it was funny when he created the figure out of the swords. There were some spelling and grammar errors.
You had "armour", but I'm not sure if it should "armor" instead.
You had; "a lot of the Were-fold were turning to watch what was causing the commotion" where I think "a" should be capitalized.
You had; ""Back!" he screeched, waving his jewelled sword..." where I think "jewelled" should be "jeweled".
You had; "The hot air smouldered around his fingers..." where I think "smouldered" should be "smoldered".
You had; "The only thing that served to set the man apart, was a short cape clipped around his neck, that draped over one shoulder." where I don't think you need the commas.
You had; "I was bound by my honour" where I think "honour" should be "honor".
You had; "The King turned to her, and his face was suddenly sombre and serious." where I think "sombre" should be "somber".
You had; "It's a living thing, and therefor is worthy..." where I think "therefor" should be "therefore".
You had; "Sombrely, the patriarch nodded once to Matt..." where I think "Sombrely" should be "Somberly".
You had; "Before them were the row upon row of buried swords" where I think you should have "rows".
You had; "Katherine marvelled at it as she placed her hand against his" where I think "marvelled" should be "marveled".
Overall it was a good short story that I enjoyed reading. I look forward to seeing what else you may write.
3/24/2012 c3 Mysterious MD
Ouch. That's what I said when I finished this chapter. I feel bad for Matt, he can barely catch a break. Thankfully he seemed to gain some positive response from the patriarch and the others when he met the human from the other land. It was another great chapter, and I really enjoyed reading it. There were some spelling and grammar errors I encountered.
You had; "He loved those kind of days" where I think "kind" should be "kinds".
You had; "What made it magical was when the lightening flashed" where I think "lightening" should be "lightning".
You had; "This man looked like on of those people" where I think "on" should be "one".
Otherwise just some things that were lowercase that might need to be uppercase.
It was another good chapter and I can't wait to read the next, keep up the great writing.
Ouch. That's what I said when I finished this chapter. I feel bad for Matt, he can barely catch a break. Thankfully he seemed to gain some positive response from the patriarch and the others when he met the human from the other land. It was another great chapter, and I really enjoyed reading it. There were some spelling and grammar errors I encountered.
You had; "He loved those kind of days" where I think "kind" should be "kinds".
You had; "What made it magical was when the lightening flashed" where I think "lightening" should be "lightning".
You had; "This man looked like on of those people" where I think "on" should be "one".
Otherwise just some things that were lowercase that might need to be uppercase.
It was another good chapter and I can't wait to read the next, keep up the great writing.
3/24/2012 c2 Mysterious MD
That was another good chapter, very interesting. There were some spelling and grammar errors I encountered.
You had; "A sudden thought occured to her..." where "occured" should be "occurred".
You had; "The castle, and the vllage" where I think "vllage" should be "village".
You had; "It is a dangerous place, sonwe do not" where I think you mean "so we do not".
You had; "There was a blacksith... " where I think you mean "blacksmith".
You had; "You would know what assuming meant if it came up behind you and..." where I think you mean "wouldn't".
You had;" Katherine said with a smile, and. Arefully sipped from her cup." where I think you mean "Katherine said with a smile, and carefully sipped from her cup."
You had; ""I don't know about 'wise', little one." Natary said, eyes glittering with humour. "But I do know a lot. Oh yes, I know an aweful lot."" where I think "humour" should be "humor". And I think "aweful", should be "awful".
You had; "struggling with the strange sylables" where I think "sylables" should be "syllables".
You had; "He got the impression that words like 'car', 'lightbulb', or 'supermarket'..." where I think "lightbulb" should be "light bulb".
Otherwise you had "Matt" lowercase a few times.
Overall it was a sad chapter. Karn gave up on him, and then he finds out he's supposed to marry this girl, then he finds out that he probably won't be able to go home again. It was interesting, as we see a bit more of the magic and see Katherine find out Matt's not as she expected. I look forward to seeing what happens next, keep up the good writing.
That was another good chapter, very interesting. There were some spelling and grammar errors I encountered.
You had; "A sudden thought occured to her..." where "occured" should be "occurred".
You had; "The castle, and the vllage" where I think "vllage" should be "village".
You had; "It is a dangerous place, sonwe do not" where I think you mean "so we do not".
You had; "There was a blacksith... " where I think you mean "blacksmith".
You had; "You would know what assuming meant if it came up behind you and..." where I think you mean "wouldn't".
You had;" Katherine said with a smile, and. Arefully sipped from her cup." where I think you mean "Katherine said with a smile, and carefully sipped from her cup."
You had; ""I don't know about 'wise', little one." Natary said, eyes glittering with humour. "But I do know a lot. Oh yes, I know an aweful lot."" where I think "humour" should be "humor". And I think "aweful", should be "awful".
You had; "struggling with the strange sylables" where I think "sylables" should be "syllables".
You had; "He got the impression that words like 'car', 'lightbulb', or 'supermarket'..." where I think "lightbulb" should be "light bulb".
Otherwise you had "Matt" lowercase a few times.
Overall it was a sad chapter. Karn gave up on him, and then he finds out he's supposed to marry this girl, then he finds out that he probably won't be able to go home again. It was interesting, as we see a bit more of the magic and see Katherine find out Matt's not as she expected. I look forward to seeing what happens next, keep up the good writing.
3/24/2012 c1 Mysterious MD
Well this is certainly an interesting story. Grammatically and spelling wise, I encountered a few trouble spots. (I like to point out spelling and grammar errors in my review, please do not take offense =D).
One spot was in the 2nd paragraph where you had; "Much to fast for Matt's..." where "to" should be "too".
Another spot was where you had; "... and everyone laughs at me when I can't breath because..." where "breath" should be "breathe".
Then you had; "Karn glowered at him from beneath his heavy brows, and the furs that he wore on bis back..." where "bis" should be "his."
You had an extra space after "worthy" when you had; "I performed the ritual, called on the old magic and asked for my ancestors to send me someone worthy ."
You had; "From the moment she was old enough to under stand who..." "under stand" should be "understand".
You had; "... which meant that she was the most elegable woman..." where "elegable" should be "eligible".
You had; "... and her eyes sparkled with mischeifous delight..." where "mischeifous" should be "mischievous".
You had; "She was bold, strong and Had a fiery temper." where "Had" should be lower case.
You had; "Ever since then he'd harboured a secret..." where "harboured" should be "harbored".
You had; "Myra bend at the waist slightly..." where "bend" should be "bent".
You had; "Humans alway kept their distance..." where "alway" should be "always".
You had; "To suggest that that thing in there is who The ancestors..." where "The" should be lowercase (unless you want both capitalized).
Overall it was an interesting chapter. We see him being put through these trials. We have him being summoned for the purpose of being with Katherine, which is probably hard for both of them (although I'm not sure if he knows that's why he's here yet). But it's an interesting story, and I look forward to seeing where it goes. Keep up the good writing.
Well this is certainly an interesting story. Grammatically and spelling wise, I encountered a few trouble spots. (I like to point out spelling and grammar errors in my review, please do not take offense =D).
One spot was in the 2nd paragraph where you had; "Much to fast for Matt's..." where "to" should be "too".
Another spot was where you had; "... and everyone laughs at me when I can't breath because..." where "breath" should be "breathe".
Then you had; "Karn glowered at him from beneath his heavy brows, and the furs that he wore on bis back..." where "bis" should be "his."
You had an extra space after "worthy" when you had; "I performed the ritual, called on the old magic and asked for my ancestors to send me someone worthy ."
You had; "From the moment she was old enough to under stand who..." "under stand" should be "understand".
You had; "... which meant that she was the most elegable woman..." where "elegable" should be "eligible".
You had; "... and her eyes sparkled with mischeifous delight..." where "mischeifous" should be "mischievous".
You had; "She was bold, strong and Had a fiery temper." where "Had" should be lower case.
You had; "Ever since then he'd harboured a secret..." where "harboured" should be "harbored".
You had; "Myra bend at the waist slightly..." where "bend" should be "bent".
You had; "Humans alway kept their distance..." where "alway" should be "always".
You had; "To suggest that that thing in there is who The ancestors..." where "The" should be lowercase (unless you want both capitalized).
Overall it was an interesting chapter. We see him being put through these trials. We have him being summoned for the purpose of being with Katherine, which is probably hard for both of them (although I'm not sure if he knows that's why he's here yet). But it's an interesting story, and I look forward to seeing where it goes. Keep up the good writing.