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for The Sailor's General Superior

8/13/2012 c25 C3PO
i love this story !
read it in little less than two hours and couldn't possibly get enough. and i normally don't enjoy first person narratives because they always, always, come off sounding whiny and not all that easy to like but i cannot enthuse enough how much i loved Calentine. he's quite possibly the kindest character I've read of who despite that still seems really realistic. And of course i adore Paraz to bits. i about gush every time he blushes and he's just such an endearing character! you're story was so well paced, like it wasn't as if the straight just one day developed feelings for another guy but rather it was a journey towards self-actualization. i hope you're the kind of person who loves happy endings because I've grown attached to these to very much and I'd be so depressed and sad and irreconcilable if it didn't work out for them.

im kind of weary of Hanna's character at the moment. it seems she has more to say; i mean she keeps popping up in the story when i thought she would have been a one time character.. And then there's Ja Alim, who is awesome. with him atleast, you know what you get. im positive that he's not as bad as he pretends to be, especially these last few chapters. seems like he may care a lot more for Asotegi then he let's on. i hope it works out for him with Derek, or anyone really.

how does 'bjezfretzing' work ? i mean obviously the General's infatuated but why doesn't it work the same way for Calentine ? why isn't he as compelled by it as Paraz seems to be and has it been getting stronger ? i hope so at least anything to keep Calentine around, otherwise he'd never acknowledge his feelings. and i love their talent ! would be awesome to see how they apply that, and then if course i wanna see Paraz on a ship, that'd be awesome.

oh and why was Calentine's cousin not surprised about him and the General like she said something to the extent that "it's to be expected" and then that question was just never answered. is that sometime that'll be addressed in the future ? will we find out more about the Generals past and family and why he doesn't seem to want to talk about it ? but yeah, about to read the sequel now! excitedd, and nervous. you really are amazing i enjoyed reading each and every chapter :D
8/9/2012 c26 1Mcgde
Can't believe I found this story so soon after it was finished :) Loved it.
8/9/2012 c20 Mcgde
Dude! They seriously need to kiss soon or something!
8/7/2012 c25 19Anihyr Moonstar
Absurdly long sex scenes? Hell yes. Honestly, I'm impressed you made it twenty-five chapters before finally letting them go at it. The men in my stories must just be sluts, as I've never made it that far. But then, hey, that's my fault too. So ah...good on you for having a helluvah lot more patience than I do. Or simply writing up characters with more restraint, you know, either or. Probably both.

Congratulations on finishing the first half! It's a great feeling to finish such a large chunk, even if you're far from done yet. :)

- Moonstar
8/7/2012 c16 Anihyr Moonstar
Kickass talent. And so perfect for both of them. Can't wait to see how they put it to use.

- Moonstar
8/6/2012 c15 Anihyr Moonstar
Fantastic chapter. I wouldn't point this out, since it's so far back, except that it's a big enough typo that it had me re-reading the sentence several times to figure out what had happened:

"Boots?" I snap, whirling on him. "You want to know I stop myself, take a ragged breath, and keep my gaze firmly on the ground until I can trust myself again, which may be never. "I'm sorry," I say softly.

After those opening quotations the second time, it should be something like, "You want to know-" I stop myself... Etc. Because there wasn't any punctuation/cut off there, I thought he was still talking, and it confused the mess out of me. Other than that, I'm thoroughly enjoying this still. It's distracting me from my own writing. :)

- Moonstar
8/6/2012 c10 Anihyr Moonstar
My money's on saying the General didn't want to turn around because he enjoyed that massage waaaay more than Cale would be comfortable seeing the effects of. Sorry for not reviewing regularly. I started out doing so well, too, but don't think for a second that it's 'cause the quality's dropped or anything. I'm just getting tired and reading on anyway. :D

- Moonstar
8/6/2012 c7 Anihyr Moonstar
They are cats. I swear it. They're cats facing bathtime and the thought of water makes their claws dig in and their hackles raise and panic strikes without reason. Ohhh, goodness.

Picking an inn for its flag sounds like a great idea.

Oh god. Favorite part so far: "My mother would say, punching doesn't solve anything," Jara sighs. "And my father would say, choose your battles. I think they're both wrong. I think you're more right. Punch EVERYONE." I'm in love. Breathing...breathing now. x)

Did not see that coming. Damn. (Jara being the General's kid.) Also. Her drunk reasoning is flawless. So perfect. My reviews will probably get sparser and more nonsensical as I go along. My bad. I start to feel like there's something I could say about each little part, but then I just keep reading instead. 'Cause I'm lazy.

- Moonstar
8/5/2012 c5 Anihyr Moonstar
You know, Alim may not (or should I say obviously *does* not) like Cale much, but in a funny way I view his attitude towards Cale as far preferable to that of those guards ealier. Sure, he's snide and nasty, but he talks to Cale like he's another intelligent being. Not impressively intelligent, and still "beneath" him and "undeserving"...but not an animal. So. I still like Alim. In his own way.

I suppose it's necessary for the story to roll forward well that Calentine doesn't know anything about dzali. If he knew everything already, he wouldn't be asking all these questions and then how would the readership learn how these things work? The dzali's magic so far seems very interesting, though, and I'm looking forward to learning what sort of powers the General will get with Cale as his focus.

Heh. "Ugh, I can't watch..." *keeps watching* Way to go, Jara.

I was wondering what was going on! That...is certainly an interesting way to wage a "war". It feels more like a tournament to me. Each side sends their best representatives one by one, but if you lose the *game* you lose the war. Or the battle, anyway. It kind of makes me wish that were possible in our world. No one's ever willing to stop at that, though, so the dzali must truly think on a different level than humans...or at least have a different core nature to them somehow. Hn.

Damn. I was hoping to see Asotegi work magic and steal some sort of surprise win, but I suppose the "good" guys can't win every time.

- Moonstar
8/5/2012 c4 Anihyr Moonstar
Ew. The way those guards treated Cale was really unnerving. Telling, too. But he's right, the instant they started going on, it sounded exactly like they were talking to a lost animal. Makes my skin crawl, but probably mostly because that kind of belittling is so easy to imagine when it comes to racial/cultural barriers and ignorance.

"The word is a polite request for food and lodging." Haha, I forgot that. I know I read it before, and I grinned again when I did this time. It just fits right in - the sort of thing that happens with language and people meeting newcomers they've never seen before. Misunderstandings that stick. Anyways. Very clever. :)

- Moonstar
8/5/2012 c3 Anihyr Moonstar
My, my isn't the general's ex the cheery sort if I ever saw one. Quite literally laughed out loud at his early commentary, though. "If we are to coexist on the same continent, never speak to me again." Maybe I just have a thing for bitter and sarcastic characters. They're just so splendid when done right, and...I feel for Cale. Wouldn't want to have someone who'd rather see my guts spilled on the pavement than work with me put in charge of healing MY injuries either.

I like Jara. Very personable and honestly open and bright about things.

" 'Are you married?'

I glance at the window and decide against it." LOL. Apologies. This took me a second to catch on to, but when I did, it was perfect. Poor, poor Calentine.

Ja Alim, ah good, now I have a name and don't have to keep thinking of him as "that sour redhead who grins wickedly at that thought of Cale developing permanent disfigurement". Honestly, I feel bad for him. How unfair is it to work your way up, work HARD, develop a relationship with someone and get the kind of status he must have had as the General's partner...and then have it all ripped away in a moment's notice simply because a stone glows purple and now someone you pointedly consider beneath you has everything you worked for and more? Eesh. I certainly don't blame him for his temper, anyway.

"...so long as you don't mind getting your intestines beaten out of your ears for a while." I knew I liked Jara.

Ohhh, now I'm suddenly going to be thinking of dzali as cat-people. Loving fish, perking up at the thought of fish, but hating water. Haha, not sure if that was intentional, but we'll see. (I'm writing this review as I read, if that isn't obvious, so sorry if it jumps around and bursts in with sudden insight or an odd though; I just prefer to type up my thoughts as I go so that I don't forget them by the end.)

Ack. I know I read this before or at least started it, but getting to it again, I feel so bad for Cale. I suppose it really is good that he isn't married, since that would make everything so much worse (hell, I would be *furious* if suddenly dragged aside and told "Hey, sorry, yeah, that person you've loved all your life? Not happening..."), but still. The fact that the General's so important makes it that much more impossible for Cale to run his life even remotely the way he used to...

- Moonstar
8/5/2012 c2 Anihyr Moonstar
Cale has such a homey soul. He's so down-to-earth that it makes his situation seem that much *more* bizarre than it already is. I can imagine a flighty romantic type going mad with glee if they were put in the same place - or someone more power hungry to already be plotting how to use it to their advantage - but no, of course fate thrusts all this on Cale. Sort of perfect for the role, but that’s how fate works isn’t it?

Oh dear. Well, *that* presents a problem, doesn't it? Dzali hating the sea, and their most prized general developing a life bond with a sailor through and through. Tsk. I love your similes, "...like a suckerfish hangs onto a shark..." right at the end there for one; they fit very well with the way Cale's mind works. Always reverting back to the sea and life experience, as ought to be expected and none of them cliché or forced.

- Moonstar
8/5/2012 c1 Anihyr Moonstar
So, I have been meaning to read this properly from start to finish ever since you left that lovely review on my own story. This thing, I swear, is on the favorites list of nearly everyone (it seems) who has favorited The Coquette and the Thane, which cannot possibly be a coincidence, and it IS very well written, as is made obvious by the first *sentence* as well as, of course, the whole rest of the thing...

But I kept, somehow, not getting around to it. For one thing, first person narratives in general tend to irritate me. You write splendidly, but something about first person just *irks* me in ways I can't explain (better, though, that you write in present tense; when it's first person, past tense, it's even worse). I suppose I'm just too attached to digging into multiple perspectives. I like seeing the world of a story through multiple characters eyes, and the more fleshed out, inventive characters an author can use effectively, the better.

BUT, I digress...I'm reading this now, and hopefully I'll be able to discipline myself enough to keep up a running monologue and review most chapters as I go along. What better time to do this than when you just tagged a "complete" sticker on it? :) (Though I realize, like my own story, this isn't really the end, since I see the sequel sitting there on your profile page, but still. As good a time as any.)

ANYWAY. I do love this first chapter. Calentine has a great voice and never ceases to amuse me with his internal musings. His initial encounter with the General made me laugh, just trying to imagine the depth of the calamity erupting around him. I think one of my favorite lines in this (though there are many that I grinned at), is "...the General asks in this soft voice that makes me wonder if he has mistaken me for an especially cute kitten." Picturing the hot-cold shifts in the General's temperament and trying to put myself in Cale's shoes is an amusing ride to say the least.

The part of me that loathes first person butts in somewhere near the end of the chapter because I would *really* love to see some of what's going on in the General's head. Just a glimpse, even, because, seriously, whatever he's going through must be at least as confusing from his end as it is for Cale, if not more so. I also wish I got a chance to get to know him as he is normally (as opposed to, you know, love struck and overcome with involuntary eternal devotion), but I suppose I'll just have to hope to catch hints of that later on.

My apologies for uh...writing so much. I'll try to keep my reviews more concise and to the point in the future.

- Moonstar
8/3/2012 c1 ladyfortune
OMG. This story is awesome. Thank you for such awesome work!
P.S. Also, it's hilarious. I start cracking up at the most inopportune moments :)
8/3/2012 c26 5Arya Yamamoto
Loved it loads, finished the entire thing in a day. A very humourous society and world with qurky magic and interesting societal patterns. Loved the characters, the romance, the love scene.
I hope to see more of this unique pairing and their unforgettable story.
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