for The Sailor's General Superior6/8/2012 c11 kyrieleison
Spotted an inconsistency in this chapter. When Cale meets Derek in the barracks Jara introduces him as "Soldier Derek, my father's biggest admirer". A few lines later, when - to Jara's amusement - Derek explains why he's attracted to General it says "I'm willing to bet he doesn't know who her father is either".
Spotted an inconsistency in this chapter. When Cale meets Derek in the barracks Jara introduces him as "Soldier Derek, my father's biggest admirer". A few lines later, when - to Jara's amusement - Derek explains why he's attracted to General it says "I'm willing to bet he doesn't know who her father is either".
6/7/2012 c3 kyrieleison
I'm a bit confused about dzalins lifespan. Do they live longer than humans or maybe they just don,t look their age?
I'm a bit confused about dzalins lifespan. Do they live longer than humans or maybe they just don,t look their age?
6/6/2012 c16 NoSlipCondition
Wow, the tone from the last chapter to this one really brightened. I'm glad Calentine didn't close himself off after all those deaths, and I like Laris. Asotegi certainly has a lot of children. Exactly how old is he? I'm not sure if you mentioned before, but how many marriage/partnerships is normal for them? Since he was worrying about his ability to maintain relationships, I was wondering if he's been through more or fewer than is normal for his age. I'm happy that Calentine is warming to him, but I'm not ready for him to be lovey-dovey. haha
I laughed when Laris said the general was noisy. What did Alim even think he could accomplish, sneaking into his tent then? Cheers and best of luck!
Wow, the tone from the last chapter to this one really brightened. I'm glad Calentine didn't close himself off after all those deaths, and I like Laris. Asotegi certainly has a lot of children. Exactly how old is he? I'm not sure if you mentioned before, but how many marriage/partnerships is normal for them? Since he was worrying about his ability to maintain relationships, I was wondering if he's been through more or fewer than is normal for his age. I'm happy that Calentine is warming to him, but I'm not ready for him to be lovey-dovey. haha
I laughed when Laris said the general was noisy. What did Alim even think he could accomplish, sneaking into his tent then? Cheers and best of luck!
6/2/2012 c16 Chibikodo
Oh Cal, haha could you be falling in love? :) i loved the playful frolicking between Asotegi and Calentine. Does the General have any idea why Calentine is reserved and wary around him whenever he says he loves Cal?
Oh Cal, haha could you be falling in love? :) i loved the playful frolicking between Asotegi and Calentine. Does the General have any idea why Calentine is reserved and wary around him whenever he says he loves Cal?
6/2/2012 c16 krlsen
:D
:D
6/2/2012 c16 
3Shamalan Grey
Good luck and good job. You deserve the extra time if you need it, due to being so good about your updates. Look forward to the next chapter. :)
-Shama
3Shamalan GreyGood luck and good job. You deserve the extra time if you need it, due to being so good about your updates. Look forward to the next chapter. :)
-Shama
6/2/2012 c2 6theStarfly
Hey! I'm re-reading what's written so far because I love this story so much, and I was just curious about the Otto Codex thing? What exactly is it?
6theStarflyHey! I'm re-reading what's written so far because I love this story so much, and I was just curious about the Otto Codex thing? What exactly is it?
6/2/2012 c16 tamzingrace
Poor Calentine, he doesn't realise he's starting to fall for Asotegi. Excellent chapter as usual, looking forward to them trying to convince someone to stand on the water with them! Looking forward to more.
Poor Calentine, he doesn't realise he's starting to fall for Asotegi. Excellent chapter as usual, looking forward to them trying to convince someone to stand on the water with them! Looking forward to more.
6/2/2012 c16 3Sayure
You make my day with your chapters, I can't wait for the next one.
Of all my favorites this is my favorite :-)
3SayureYou make my day with your chapters, I can't wait for the next one.
Of all my favorites this is my favorite :-)
6/2/2012 c16 kyoo
wahh calentine and asotegi's couple power is so cool! and i think this may very well be my favorite chapter to date, smooshy tent cuddling and all. though i desperately want to get revenge on alim for trying to get asotegi to cheat on cale in the tent. grrr. but sadly i doubt calentine would be up for that. also i love how different a voice you give each of your protagonists, the hard work and research you put in really shows! and i dont think ive seen such a realistic, relatable portrayal of mourning in online fiction in some time! thank you much lovely author :)
wahh calentine and asotegi's couple power is so cool! and i think this may very well be my favorite chapter to date, smooshy tent cuddling and all. though i desperately want to get revenge on alim for trying to get asotegi to cheat on cale in the tent. grrr. but sadly i doubt calentine would be up for that. also i love how different a voice you give each of your protagonists, the hard work and research you put in really shows! and i dont think ive seen such a realistic, relatable portrayal of mourning in online fiction in some time! thank you much lovely author :)
6/1/2012 c16 foothwit
Finally! Cale warms up to the lovely general :) haha, in all seriousness though, I love the slow buildup and the care you take with establishing the characters first before moving on to the romantic aspects of their relationship. It's so common to find stories where characters are immediately attracted to each other which is fun to read but not always realistic. I honestly love these characters and the world you've created - everything is so developed and nuanced. I really enjoy reading your work.
Finally! Cale warms up to the lovely general :) haha, in all seriousness though, I love the slow buildup and the care you take with establishing the characters first before moving on to the romantic aspects of their relationship. It's so common to find stories where characters are immediately attracted to each other which is fun to read but not always realistic. I honestly love these characters and the world you've created - everything is so developed and nuanced. I really enjoy reading your work.
6/1/2012 c15 7khost
Wow, this is absolutely fantastic! Normally I really don't like to read fantasy type stories on fp since 95%of the time they're written soo terribly, but I loved your style from the very first paragraph. Your characters are phenomenal and I really like how the relationship is progressing; slow and steady wins the race! Not gonna lie, usually when I'm reading stories on here I'm not looking for a ton of plot. Some of course, but not a lot, but I've absolutely fallen in love with this and can't wait to read more. Fantastic work and thanks for sharing it! :)
7khostWow, this is absolutely fantastic! Normally I really don't like to read fantasy type stories on fp since 95%of the time they're written soo terribly, but I loved your style from the very first paragraph. Your characters are phenomenal and I really like how the relationship is progressing; slow and steady wins the race! Not gonna lie, usually when I'm reading stories on here I'm not looking for a ton of plot. Some of course, but not a lot, but I've absolutely fallen in love with this and can't wait to read more. Fantastic work and thanks for sharing it! :)
6/1/2012 c16 2NormaJean Beausoleil
great job. i love their talent.
i also appreciate the reflective side of calentine here as he grieves.
so good.
*tosses you steak fries for writing stamina*
2NormaJean Beausoleilgreat job. i love their talent.
i also appreciate the reflective side of calentine here as he grieves.
so good.
*tosses you steak fries for writing stamina*
6/1/2012 c16 tmelange1
What a great power! And what a great chapter! I love the way Calentine is falling for his general. Somehow, I don't think Alim is going to give up so easily, and won't Caln be surprised when he feels jealousy along with noticing the general's good looks. LOL Update soon!
What a great power! And what a great chapter! I love the way Calentine is falling for his general. Somehow, I don't think Alim is going to give up so easily, and won't Caln be surprised when he feels jealousy along with noticing the general's good looks. LOL Update soon!