for The Sailor's General Superior1/22/2014 c7 nutbuster
what..! you did a good job with that huge surprise. I didn't think the general would be that old..? I thought Calentine is in his 20s, Jara around his age, and the general would be in his 30s maximum. their culture is so foreign! especially the way Jara describes her mother and the sexual freedom.
what..! you did a good job with that huge surprise. I didn't think the general would be that old..? I thought Calentine is in his 20s, Jara around his age, and the general would be in his 30s maximum. their culture is so foreign! especially the way Jara describes her mother and the sexual freedom.
1/21/2014 c5 nutbuster
I was so confused! I thought they were at war, but suddenly they are fighting their own people? so then I thought it was some sort of sparring match, but it's actually battle-it's like a turn based game, lol, almost like chess! quite different and unique, although the action was quite boring. I'm not too sure why I think it is. (I'm quite sleepy, so maybe that's a factor.) I think I feel that way because I'm used to the main character actually fighting in battle, and as such, it's a first person fight. the main character's thoughts are there for us to read.
I was also wondering if Calentine would get chosen out of the blue. by the way, did you really mean to use the word "fowl"?
I was so confused! I thought they were at war, but suddenly they are fighting their own people? so then I thought it was some sort of sparring match, but it's actually battle-it's like a turn based game, lol, almost like chess! quite different and unique, although the action was quite boring. I'm not too sure why I think it is. (I'm quite sleepy, so maybe that's a factor.) I think I feel that way because I'm used to the main character actually fighting in battle, and as such, it's a first person fight. the main character's thoughts are there for us to read.
I was also wondering if Calentine would get chosen out of the blue. by the way, did you really mean to use the word "fowl"?
1/18/2014 c26 Guest
Okay, seriously, please publish this. I promise you, I will buy it. This is one of my favorite stories ever. I love your world building and the cultural differences, and your characters are awesome and flawed and I'm maybe slightly in love with Asotegi, because he's brave but he's shy and awkward and apparently super hot, and he's so sweet I just can't-
I even like Ja Alim, at least to the extent that I want him to have a happy ending with some spitfire young man who loves him to bits and will never hurt him. ALIMMMMM UGH
The battles are the funniest thing ever, I keep thinking of Pokemon or something, but you also made it so that it was very serious to the dzali, and thus meant a lot to me.
Dzali are basically cats that is the awesomest thing ever. FISSSSH YES and then OH GOD WATER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU NO.
BUT ASOTEGI WENT SWIMMING BECAUSE CALE ASKED HIM TO I NEED A MOMENT.
Okay, seriously, please publish this. I promise you, I will buy it. This is one of my favorite stories ever. I love your world building and the cultural differences, and your characters are awesome and flawed and I'm maybe slightly in love with Asotegi, because he's brave but he's shy and awkward and apparently super hot, and he's so sweet I just can't-
I even like Ja Alim, at least to the extent that I want him to have a happy ending with some spitfire young man who loves him to bits and will never hurt him. ALIMMMMM UGH
The battles are the funniest thing ever, I keep thinking of Pokemon or something, but you also made it so that it was very serious to the dzali, and thus meant a lot to me.
Dzali are basically cats that is the awesomest thing ever. FISSSSH YES and then OH GOD WATER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU NO.
BUT ASOTEGI WENT SWIMMING BECAUSE CALE ASKED HIM TO I NEED A MOMENT.
11/7/2013 c1 Hymno
Loved it! Excellently written and had me hooked from the beginning to the end. I'm sorry, I'm actually ill right now and I'm unable to gather my thoughts to express how much this story blew me away properly (english is not my first language), so I'll most likely make another attempt when I've gotten better. But please know that I absolutely loved it and I am certainly going to read the Corsair's Crown! 3
Much love,
Hymno
Loved it! Excellently written and had me hooked from the beginning to the end. I'm sorry, I'm actually ill right now and I'm unable to gather my thoughts to express how much this story blew me away properly (english is not my first language), so I'll most likely make another attempt when I've gotten better. But please know that I absolutely loved it and I am certainly going to read the Corsair's Crown! 3
Much love,
Hymno
10/19/2013 c26 
4rockspapersnscissors
I absolutely love this story! Wonderful job, you write so well, I loved the salute thing, different army different salutes great idea, and the games were a great touch!
I only like to read completed stories, I'm the most impatient person ever, so I hope the second part is finished!
After reading it all i think I only had one real complaint, through the entire story you described how the D- (forgot) don't like water, I think the boat trip should have been more eventful, you didn't show the fear enough...
Overall, a great story, though your driving me crazy trying to guess who top/bottom with Calentine and Paraz!
The war hero, General Superior, or the seafaring Sailor?! XD
Loved the Story, and Best Wishes,
RPS
PS:
I'd love your opinion on my (WIP) story: A Dark Grace!
4rockspapersnscissorsI absolutely love this story! Wonderful job, you write so well, I loved the salute thing, different army different salutes great idea, and the games were a great touch!
I only like to read completed stories, I'm the most impatient person ever, so I hope the second part is finished!
After reading it all i think I only had one real complaint, through the entire story you described how the D- (forgot) don't like water, I think the boat trip should have been more eventful, you didn't show the fear enough...
Overall, a great story, though your driving me crazy trying to guess who top/bottom with Calentine and Paraz!
The war hero, General Superior, or the seafaring Sailor?! XD
Loved the Story, and Best Wishes,
RPS
PS:
I'd love your opinion on my (WIP) story: A Dark Grace!
9/12/2013 c26 9Pantu
Oh my goodness, I was panicking so much when I got to Chapter 25 and you said that it was just the end of part two and there was only one chapter left. I'm both releived and sad that there is a whole new story waiting because I like to read complete work mostly, but I shall be starting it on the train later, and for now, this was a great read.
I enjoyed your characters and liked that you took the time to build up a selection of people around the two MC's. I also thought the way that you built up Cal's feelings for Asotegi was excelently done, and I was impressed that you managed to build a lot of RL apropriate issues of culture and values into a work of fantasy.
There are a few lingering spelling mistakes, and you do have a tendency to use long and convoluted sentences which could often be split into two, to make it a bit easier to read and understand. This didn't annoy me as much as it usually does though, and on a whole your writinng is excellent.
One other thing is that in my head Asotegi was taller than Cal, this wasn't an issue as such, there were just a few ocasions later one in positioning and I was confused until I remembered. It isn't a big deal in and of itself, it was just something I noticed and thought I would pass it on.
Anyway, thanks for sharing.
-Pantu
9PantuOh my goodness, I was panicking so much when I got to Chapter 25 and you said that it was just the end of part two and there was only one chapter left. I'm both releived and sad that there is a whole new story waiting because I like to read complete work mostly, but I shall be starting it on the train later, and for now, this was a great read.
I enjoyed your characters and liked that you took the time to build up a selection of people around the two MC's. I also thought the way that you built up Cal's feelings for Asotegi was excelently done, and I was impressed that you managed to build a lot of RL apropriate issues of culture and values into a work of fantasy.
There are a few lingering spelling mistakes, and you do have a tendency to use long and convoluted sentences which could often be split into two, to make it a bit easier to read and understand. This didn't annoy me as much as it usually does though, and on a whole your writinng is excellent.
One other thing is that in my head Asotegi was taller than Cal, this wasn't an issue as such, there were just a few ocasions later one in positioning and I was confused until I remembered. It isn't a big deal in and of itself, it was just something I noticed and thought I would pass it on.
Anyway, thanks for sharing.
-Pantu
9/8/2013 c26 3halfbreedfox
Finally! It took me five days, but I managed to devour this story just so I could leave a proper review. I didn't want to overload your inbox and I didn't want to ferment over things that I did not completely understand yet, but now that you have "closed" this part of Calentine's and Asotegi's tale, I feel like I can leave a review. :)
I love all of the characters (except for maybe a few bad guys, but that's obvious as to why [and I'll bet I'll get to like some later]). I came to a point where even if Asotegi and Calentine weren't together, I still enjoyed the other interactions and relationships. Everyone is so well developed, relatable, and real that even though I may have started out skeptical of them or disliking them completely, they all won over my heart with their uniqueness. Even Alim. Bless his angry, little, red head. XD
Your plot is thrilling. I enjoy a good war story and you put a "civilized" spin on things with the Dzalin's protocols and treaties. I was surprised you started off with our heroes losing, but it was refreshing and it made their later victories that much sweeter. :)
I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to leave a review on my blog of your story and encourage others to read it as well. No need to worry if you'd rather I not; I hardly have any followers and it will give me good practice in reviewing.
Now I'm off to read The Corsair's Crown!
3halfbreedfoxFinally! It took me five days, but I managed to devour this story just so I could leave a proper review. I didn't want to overload your inbox and I didn't want to ferment over things that I did not completely understand yet, but now that you have "closed" this part of Calentine's and Asotegi's tale, I feel like I can leave a review. :)
I love all of the characters (except for maybe a few bad guys, but that's obvious as to why [and I'll bet I'll get to like some later]). I came to a point where even if Asotegi and Calentine weren't together, I still enjoyed the other interactions and relationships. Everyone is so well developed, relatable, and real that even though I may have started out skeptical of them or disliking them completely, they all won over my heart with their uniqueness. Even Alim. Bless his angry, little, red head. XD
Your plot is thrilling. I enjoy a good war story and you put a "civilized" spin on things with the Dzalin's protocols and treaties. I was surprised you started off with our heroes losing, but it was refreshing and it made their later victories that much sweeter. :)
I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to leave a review on my blog of your story and encourage others to read it as well. No need to worry if you'd rather I not; I hardly have any followers and it will give me good practice in reviewing.
Now I'm off to read The Corsair's Crown!
9/1/2013 c26 3Sillen
I have to admit, I'm in love with your writting. I hadn't realized you were the author of The Sound of Snowfall until I've gone to your profile for The Corsair's Crown and when I found out, I was so delightfully shocked. Such wonderful and amazing writing. I cannot make the heads and tails of the detailed strategies and of the war that you focus the story around (completely faults of mine and not yours), but yet I love The Sailor's General Superior nonetheless. The pacing, the characters, the plot and the romance. One must not forget about the M-rated parts as well, and all of them are just a joy to read. Thank you for writting and sharing. Now I'll head to The Corsair's Crown.
3SillenI have to admit, I'm in love with your writting. I hadn't realized you were the author of The Sound of Snowfall until I've gone to your profile for The Corsair's Crown and when I found out, I was so delightfully shocked. Such wonderful and amazing writing. I cannot make the heads and tails of the detailed strategies and of the war that you focus the story around (completely faults of mine and not yours), but yet I love The Sailor's General Superior nonetheless. The pacing, the characters, the plot and the romance. One must not forget about the M-rated parts as well, and all of them are just a joy to read. Thank you for writting and sharing. Now I'll head to The Corsair's Crown.
8/6/2013 c2 passerbyer
So many characters on the first chapter and my mind already got f"cked over, and then chapter 2, I couldn't pick up or understand what was being said half the time. It was kind of confusing for me and I couldn't keep up. The plot and characters are promising but if I were to be confused while reading the story, I don't think I would enjoy it as much. So maybe next time.
So many characters on the first chapter and my mind already got f"cked over, and then chapter 2, I couldn't pick up or understand what was being said half the time. It was kind of confusing for me and I couldn't keep up. The plot and characters are promising but if I were to be confused while reading the story, I don't think I would enjoy it as much. So maybe next time.
8/1/2013 c26 Phayre
I adored this. I really did.
It had me hooked from the very first chapter, and I loved all of it. The writing was brilliant, the plot was brilliant, and the characters were BRILLIANT.
I can't possibly gush enough over how much I enjoyed reading this.
I will definitely be reading the sequel, which I hope is loooooong, because I can't get enough of this.
I adored this. I really did.
It had me hooked from the very first chapter, and I loved all of it. The writing was brilliant, the plot was brilliant, and the characters were BRILLIANT.
I can't possibly gush enough over how much I enjoyed reading this.
I will definitely be reading the sequel, which I hope is loooooong, because I can't get enough of this.
7/16/2013 c26 1BlaseBlanco
Had me hooked from beginning to end. (Seriously, who wouldn't absolutely love Calentine.) And I love how this Cale doesn't immediately fall for Asotegi. It's complex which just makes the payoff that much better.
1BlaseBlancoHad me hooked from beginning to end. (Seriously, who wouldn't absolutely love Calentine.) And I love how this Cale doesn't immediately fall for Asotegi. It's complex which just makes the payoff that much better.
6/30/2013 c1 Excited fan
This is a lovely surprise. I do so love this already, and can tell I'll fair feel the muscles from my face burn days after with the brilliant humour here.
This has so much character and the world is already shudderingly delicious.
This is a lovely surprise. I do so love this already, and can tell I'll fair feel the muscles from my face burn days after with the brilliant humour here.
This has so much character and the world is already shudderingly delicious.
6/10/2013 c26 midnight41
Finally done reading! I love where this is heading so I'm on to the sequel!
Finally done reading! I love where this is heading so I'm on to the sequel!
6/9/2013 c26 2whotevar
I adored this. Excellent characterization, narrative and setting. I especially appreciate how consistent you've been in narrating from a sailor's perspective. My only comments are that you may have slipped in some of the earlier chapters, having Cale use "okay" at one point, and Jara say "dad" (or was it "daddy") at another. Those stuck out because they're not consistent with the language being used throughout, I'd edit them out if I were you.
That, and the not-ended ending :) I'll be moving on to the next installment. I hope to see this completed because I have a very hard time reading WIPs, they give me heartburn, which is why I avoid them at all costs.
Thanks or sharing your stories!
2whotevarI adored this. Excellent characterization, narrative and setting. I especially appreciate how consistent you've been in narrating from a sailor's perspective. My only comments are that you may have slipped in some of the earlier chapters, having Cale use "okay" at one point, and Jara say "dad" (or was it "daddy") at another. Those stuck out because they're not consistent with the language being used throughout, I'd edit them out if I were you.
That, and the not-ended ending :) I'll be moving on to the next installment. I hope to see this completed because I have a very hard time reading WIPs, they give me heartburn, which is why I avoid them at all costs.
Thanks or sharing your stories!
5/26/2013 c20 blackouzel
Another exciting and well-written chapter. I am still aching for Calentine and the General, and even aching in some new places for them after the exchange that ended in "water"-fetching.
Cale's unheard confession at the end utterly breaks my heart. I HOPE THAT THE DZALI HAVE BETTER HEARING THAN HE THOUGHT. Just saying :D
Another exciting and well-written chapter. I am still aching for Calentine and the General, and even aching in some new places for them after the exchange that ended in "water"-fetching.
Cale's unheard confession at the end utterly breaks my heart. I HOPE THAT THE DZALI HAVE BETTER HEARING THAN HE THOUGHT. Just saying :D